Hearts are a fragile thing.
They should be kept in shoe boxes
filled with packaging peanuts,
hidden on shelves.
Only the cover should be allowed off.
A lightly brushing away
of the peanuts
to view the beauty.
But never to be let out.
That's too dangerous a thing.
Too much chance of dropping.
Carelessness.
Too much chance of breaking.
Even if it's just
for
a
second.
Author notes
Written December 27th, 2005
What did you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
this is a really nice piece i like the metaphore you used to discribe "the heart"
this is a poeme i think many people can realate to ...
you have a lot of imagination for your poemes
~Mystic~
Edited on May 31, 11:00 because ''. -
packing peanuts = soft image
hey dearie
"Too much chance of dropping... breaking..." you really connected me in from the very start with a strong statement and then going into details of how to protect it. master surgeons take note...
but fragile and impossible to mend a broken heart awwwwww... i felt it... *hugs* ska music heals me hehe but other then that, you wrote a really lovely piece that hopefully has will have happy ending coming soon
cheers
phil -
good write. I liked the imagery and I think its something a lot of people can relate to. It is a scary thing to let your heart out of the box, so to speak.
I really liked how you broke up the last four lines... that was very effective. overall the structure was pretty good.
nice write :-) -
Would you be able to elaborate on your critique?
Thank you. -
this is an awesome poem great job!!
-
This is true.. This poem is soooo true and I love your creativity it had good imagry too! Great job i loved it!
Love,
~Amber~
Adding your comment:
1 - 6 of 6
3 old applause
