Confused and lost to others prying eyes
wrapped in the heat and insane safety of multiple lies
a girl sits and mourns for a lost one
emotions cascading-as unstable as a loaded gun
Golden hair lank from half-hearted care
skin almost too white to be called fair
rocking back and forth in inexpressible grief
like the wind catching a dry and broken leaf
A sound is caught through all the inaudible fury
up come the eyes, in come the internal jury
in sweeps her angst, the light and the dark
a tear trails down her face, the only visible mark
The night before a terrible mistake was made
making her now contemplate that shiny razor blade
pale, spider hands clutched at her throat
a cry of pain pressed out in an eerie note
Her only light amongst the threatening murk
a faint, happy memory, on the edge of reasoning lurked
in it, sapphire blue eyes peered out through a haze
full of comfort, love, the memory of happier days
Recollection of the one she loved filled her heart with woe
why on earth had she ever let go?
Author notes
I think it's a half decent poem, but not sure if it is what you were looking for as far as the contest.
A few words to explain this. I am, obviously, the one being described in the poem. A few months back, I made the mistake of breaking up with, who i consider still, the love of my life (the guy w. the sapphire eyes). He lived in a different state, and everytime we saw eachother we always told ourselves that no matter how hard things got, we would never let go of what we had. well...needless to say, i \
Written December 27th, 2005
A contest entry
- Not Quite Yourself by jannin.
300 points, ended January 11, 2006, 15 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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This is an amazing write. I love the rhyme, and the way you've mostly brought out physical traits; that's what someone else would see, and that's definitely what I wanted. I like how you explain at the end that you let go - it ties back to the "lost one" at the start, which is always nice in a poem.
The second stanza is probably what I like best. Your description astounds me.
Fantastic work, and thankyou for entering.
/jannin
Edited on Jan 11, 1:05 because 'of a rip in the space-time continuum.'. -
that is a really good write!
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i like it..very pretty you are a awesome poet way better then me keep it up.
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