Sunrise streaks through wintery clouds
Tall evergreens stoop fragile and white
A frosty roof with a shimmery cowl
Black silhouettes glide, against early light
Two hooded crows, in flight they dance
But, where they land, is often chance
A walk they've done so many times
Across the white and slippery tiles
Their clockwork gait makes me smile aloud
With cold feet, they hop, onto chimney cowls
Like old men, who hog the fireside
The bend and turn, from side to side
Finally, they turn around
Towards the sunrise, they settle down
I ask myself, 'what do they see'
It's beauty? or is it only, cold feet.
Author notes
I have used a little artistic license! I know birds don't have feet. I was inspired to write this poem when I saw 2 crows do exactly this and I had to wonder did they recognise the beauty of the sunrise or were they only getting warm from the chimney.
Written December 27th, 2005
A contest entry
- Festive Cheer by silverscent.
300 points, ended January 2, 2006, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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The idea of crows watching the sunset is genius. I must ask though, if they don’t have feet, what do they have?
Your imagery worked fantastically well, I could really see the birds flying and slipping on the snowy tiles just hoping to get warm. The ending line was clever, the question works well with the readers mind.
The last line of the second stanza isn’t clear to me. I was thinking you might have meant, “They bend and turn…”
Thanks for entering. -
Enthusiastic
Hey thanks Angel! -
Excellent. I don't know what to say that hasn't been said. Very beautiful write.
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Thank you.
I know! My friend has a cat that watches the TV and it leaves you thinking... -
Kudos !
This is very good. I was easily able to "see" those crows. I especially like the descriptive analogy "... Like old men, who hog the fireside...", that is a very good touch ! ~Jim -
WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
There was a very good choice of words here. The description was amazing. It was really superb. It was fun to read. You can really write well. This was a reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaallllllllllllllllllllllllyyyyyyyyyyyyy Lovely poem. It flows very well. I really had fun reading it. Kudos, my friend. You should consider getting published.
The poem was extremely thought provoking. I really found it a masterpiece. This is one of the better poems I have seen in recent times.
Keep writing. You are a good poet. You have a very good style, and you are a powerful writer. God bless you and good luck Dear!
~Komal -
I love the way this was inspired. You gave it litteral and metaphorical sense. It is very interesting to wonder if you have to be developed mentally to recognize natures beauty. I personally don't think you do so I like to beleive the crows were watching the sunrise.This was an excellent poem .
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beautifully written...i could almost see the crows myself. makes me think of the many times i've wondered whether or not animals are thinking or just reacting?
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Wow,this is nice and cheerful.Feels very positive too.Yes do please write more.
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refreshing
Lovely theme, and so nice to read, after all your sad stories. please keep this up. You certainly have it in you to write good lighter happier verse.
WD -
Good Comment
Thank you Lyndon. This is one of my serious writes. My favourite line is 'Tall evergreens stoop fragile and white'. -
A nature poem in winter of beauty
Nature is explored, celebrated and you particularise to cause a reader's itch. Thank you for that. There are many worth while phrases in "cold feet". 'Black silhouettes glide/against early light' is but one fine example. I enjoyed this poem, I did. Lyndon -
Thank you, just need more than you to read it!!!!
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Brilliant
ahhh beautiful... Excellant picture in my mind, what the word for that imagery? something like that..
Good poem as always
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