I would like to show you
the right way over the
frozen lake surface.
I would like to show you
the right way through the wood
dark and cold.
I would like to know
the right way toward
the human heart.
I would like to know
the right way to keep
your strength.
I would like to say
that messenger will never
be attacked.
I would like
to move the clouds
and to put the Sun
for you in the skies.
I would like
to protect you
and to show you the Moon rising
over the bridge built
to connect the people.
I would like
to know that water
will never
destroy the bridge and bank.
I would like
to sing you a beautiful lullaby
and to see
your smile again.
I would not like
to need a white banner
to fold your wounded heart.
Author notes
Written December 27th, 2005
If you don't think it fits to contest rules, feel free to remove it.
In a list
A contest entry
- Allpoetry Book Project: Teen Inspiration. Win $100 / $30 by Kevin.
600 points, ended April 2, 2007, 61 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 42 of 42
-
This is amazing.Ah Im getting so many amazing writes!
Good luck and Thanks! -
amazing. I expecially liked the last stanza. Great job...
Lizzy
-
-
Thank you Lizzy.
~Sonja~
-
-
Touching and very visual. This is wonderfuly done.
I love it very much. Well said.
-
beautiful job. the metaphor of 'fold your wounded heart' felt too non-literal after all the very literal and powerful images you used. 'bridge and bank' - I think it might be better as just 'bridge'. Though it still needs something, hmm. A beautiful read, thank you!
-
-
Thank you Kevin for your kind review. You are right, each poem always could be better somehow, like old wine...
~Sonja~
-
-
Jonathan directed me here, and I see why he did. I like his reply as much as your poem because they both go straight to the heart of love. Perhaps we take a mother's love for granted when we are young, but a Mother rarely takes her children for granted and is blessed beyond measure.
I bookmarked this and think the sentiments are wonderfuly expressed.
-
-
Thank you klassy lassy for so great comment and applauses. I am glad that Jonatan directed you to my poem and that yo like it
~Sonja~
-
-
All This and More
Draw near, my dear, and take my hand,
we’ll travel to true wonderland,
spite cold's sharp bite, white frozen lake,
without delay we’ll double take
from lies, disguise, - wise, understand
life's crystal beauty, flake by flake.
Draw near, my dear, though woods be cold,
though nights oppress, together bold,
we’ll weave sure way without a bend
from start to journey’s happy end,
where dark dissolves as warmth we hold
within with friend supporting friend.
Draw near, my dear, here let us chart
the way to reach contented heart,
the way to learn, the way to teach,
the way where each may share with each,
the way pure ends, maintained from start
to end, lend, spend, send silent speech.
Draw near, my dear, let us sustain
your strength, ensure tuned strings remain,
from strife and strain draw buoyancy
to bounce back, track the way to see
horizons blue and to retain
refrain both optimistic, free.
Draw near, my dear, the thoughts you send
should flourish, nourish, poor defend,
for your imporant message must
not be deformed, dust-stormed, for trust
support, shan’t ever condescend,
transcending dangers, stings unjust.
Draw near my dear, through cloudy skies
we’ll beam to light stream and surprise
whatever weather harsh would whirl
about, around, with squall, pall, swirl, -
churn cream from mist dismissed and rise
with cheer sight clear, translucent pearl.
Draw near, my dear, to land of dreams,
to shadows weaving silver streams,
to nights of selenite that build
from man to man faith span instilled
melts wraith fence, difference, - hope’s gleams,
will breach tall walls, leave each joy filled.
Draw near, my dear, nor flood, nor tide,
shall break your banks or override
endeavours, - rainbow links - proposed,
nor undermine, design exposed.
The bridges that your love supplied
with grace in place remain, abide.
Draw near my dear, my song shall charm
birds from their trees, disease disarm,
to soothe, to move, new smiles discern
that spread from head to heart to earn
an inner peace where balm and calm,
infectious, caught by all, return.
Draw near my dear, no strap sheet white
should trap your sap, wrap mapless night,
for sore, hurts, heal, hope sets fresh score,
links light to laughter evermore.
I sketch wings stretched for future flight.
For you I'd write, draw this and more …
-
-
I never will expect that somebody who visited my site for the first time will coment my poetry this way - with your own poem much longer than my own. Thank you.
~Sonja~
-
-
Loved it!
How can we not want these things for our children, mine our my life and always will be, I will bookmark this one too Sonja, Excellent! Great job!
-
OH SO BEAUTIFUL!!!!
To reach out to another and help them with what they need help with, to have them open up to you and put their trust in you. That is what it is supposed to be like but sadly is not.
-
I like the way you put it in the right place and the right time.
You wrote this with perfect order and that made it worth reading to me. I like the way it come out on the end. IT is the truth of how you wrote this piece of great knowledge.
-
-
Thank you Sondra. As a mother (my son says that I am the best lol)I have some experiance, same as you. We are not able to always protect our kids from the lives reality. So, we are trying to do the best we know. Even with poetry.
-
-
Hi Sonja. A beautiful write. You express the wonderful qualities of a mom's mission. Very good imagery, flow and tone. Lovely expression of emotion. An uplifting and encouraging piece. Your loving-kindness shines brightly in this piece. Well crafted and a much enjoyed read. Shelley
-
-
The best what life could offer is to be mom, the hardest what life could offer is to be - mom. Thanks Shelley, I am glad yo like my poetic expression of this kind of love
~Sonja~ -
-
Hi Sonja. Yes, it is. And, you express it very well in this piece. It's a pleasure to read your poetry. Take care
Shelley
-
-
-
Dear Vera, thank you very much for your time and for deep review about this poem. Your opinion about my poetry and honest suggestion means alot to me because of lack of my language knowledge and differences between expressions posibilities between English and Croatian language. It only could help to me. I have done all changes following your istructions. It is very interesting that this stanza you suggested to be last have been last in my previous, first written version.
~Sonja~ -
Thank you again for changing the presentation so that I can read it. This is one of the few entries that approached the subject from the point of view of the mother - which made it a refreshing change.
I found your pattern of repetitions extremely interesting (this is a good way of linking the stanzas of unrhymed verse-forms), and the images fo the perils and dangers of life are, in the main, well-chosen.
There are a few syntactic infelicities - "the human hearts" sounds odd: one would expect either "the human heart" or "human hearts"; not is "the" needed in "to connect the people" (it seems to be there simply for the sake of the rhythm - and raises the question in the reader's mind: "Connect then with what?"
Conversely "messenger" does need a "the" before it, and "beautiful lullaby" needs "a" before it.
"in the skies" would be more usual than "on the skies".
However, these are minor matters.
I am not entirely happy with the order of the stanzas.
They do not seem to me to build sufficiently to a climax.
You might like to consider various rearrangements.
In any case, my own inclination would be move
I would not like
to need a white banner
to fold your wounded heart.
to then end of the poem...
-
Thank you Vera for your kindness. I change it to white. I hope that culd help you.
~Sonja~ -
Like always you caught the main points of my words. I am honnored that I have a reader like you are. Yes, parents can't keep their kids under the bell jar...
~Sonja~ -
Oh, Joyce, I am happy to know you as a familly member. With your comment and kind words you realy made sunny day for me. Wanda is a great person and I am sure that she will do the best. I am glad you like this poem. I am writing poetry in a few different styles and you do not need to like all.
~Sonja~ -
Thank you my dear friend for your kind words, nice comment and applause. It worth a gold to me from a poet like you are..
~Sonja~ -
What a lovely imagery my dear Sonja..this was very calming, peaceful poem..lovely words coming from very poetic heart.. I love your words..keep penning my friend ..good luck in the contest
-
Standing as I applaud!!!!!
Sonja, What a beautiful write for my grams. I have discovered yet another family member today as Joy informed me that she has a daughter here in you. Thank you for giving her these loving words which I know will touch her heart as deeply as they did mine. We all make lists of what life is all about, when they come out in a poem as grand as this one it is no longer a list. You expressed your feelings wonderfully and I could feel the maternal instinct throughout. This is the fifth poem I have read so far from the entries and they are all fantastic. Wanda is going to have her hands full in judging this one.
I wouldn't want to be in her shoes as I would want to give prizes to everyone. 
This really hit home and made me think of my mom, with a big smile on my face and in my heart I give you all my best wishes. Kudos to you for your words that I just read here. I will have to read more of your work as this is truly a work of art and I want to be able to say some nice words when I add my aunt to my home page.
Love and blessings for you, today and always. 
Joyce
-
Lovely images you created here, Sonja. I really enjoyed this. It gave me somehow a feeling of a little child growing up, taken care of by its mother. But in the mean time the mother does realize she cannot take away all the things she'd like to protect her child from. But although all moms feel like this, is it nessecary to protect a child from all? I think you described that conflicting feeling in a beautfil manner.
Love, Ostara
-
Thank you Amy fro such a nice comment. As a mom you understand that here is much more that list of words. thank you for applause.
~Sonja~
Edited on Dec 28, 3:09 because ''. -
Yes, I agree with you kryspin, it is a list of wishes, but it was writen this way with a reason. Thank you for your time to read my poetry.
~Sonja~ -
Thank you Jasmine for so nice comment, good wishes and applause.
~Sonja~ -
very beautiful sentiments here... with nice imagery as well. Reading this realy gives me a calm relaxed feeling.. I enjoyed this much my dear friend. Amy
-
had some good intentions, but i think it was too list-like, told instead of showed. beautiful sentiments though
-
Beautiful
Sonja, Your words are so heartfelt and moving. This is truly a beautiful poem written from the heart! Beautiful job! Best wishes to you in the contest! Jasmine
-
Thank you Wanda for your kind and supportive comment.
~Sonja~ -
'I would like to show you the right way over the frozen lake surface. I would like to show you the right way through the wood dark and cold. I would like to know the right way toward the human hearts...' Beautifully said, Sonja...You definitely have the maternal instinct in spades, my Friend...I believe all mothers would smooth the way through Life for their children if they could...they know they can't, but they can give Wisdom to alleviate the pitfalls we all find on our own...& the bandages to seal the wounds we invariably have...well done, my Friend...Thanks for entering & good luck...
Wanda
-
She deserved much more that nice words, as we all do. As you said, to be kinder and respectfull is not a kind of great effort, but it's all about one's attitude.
~Sonja~ -
sonja, what a lovely poem, she is thrilled for sure, as I thank you for being there also..we all need to be kinder and respectfull..Linda
-
Thank you for so supportive and kind words. They are very precious to me.
With love
~Sonja~ -
crystaldust 27-12-05 12:50
This is so beautiful, Sonja. I'm so glad that you are Iohagh's mom, she needs your love and protection and I know she will be safe within it. Well done with this lovely, lovely poem for her. lol F; Grannie. -
As I said, this is mom's mission. And anger is feeling. It could be dagerous for you and your enemy only to see them with contempt. I know that from my own experiance.
~Sonja~ -
Gee mom, that was beautiful. I ususually internalize anger and that's why sometimes I beat myself up by you are so wonderful. I, I love you mom for your kindness and the sweetness of this AP family is overwhelming. Yes, I hear your beautiful lullaby. and I pray for all of us not only me. Ciao now.
Adding your comment:
1 - 42 of 42
