It's like the whole world's tinted blue
Above the painted sunset
As darkness fades into my view
The bridges disappear
Red tail lights stare into the night
The white reflection of one way signs
Mice decide what's wrong and right
Acid Bath lyrics in my head
Paper men travel in their cars
They come and go as they will
Raise your hands and blot out the stars
And leave an empty sky
Sailing on a sunken sun
Floating on the liquid blue
The ringing echoes of the gun
A gift to me from you
Author notes
Written December 26th, 2005
A contest entry
- My First and Last Contest by greeneyed angel.
500 points, ended February 5, 2006, 14 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
-
Thank you for entering my contest. This is an excellent poem. The imagery, flow and meter are great. I can find nothing wrong with this poem. Excellent work.
~Jan -
OMG OMG!!! this is the best thing I have read probly all week...wow..you have a major gift for writing.the things you said were completely amazing...wow...if you dont win this contest then this thing is seriously fixed!!
I was gonna put what the best lines were..but so many were wonderful....wow..imagery is almost everything in a poem to me..I love to be able to see things..and I saw so much..well..I guess I do have favorite lines..and it are these right here :
"Raise you hands and blot out the stars
And leave an empty sky"
and Im pretty sure that "you" was supposed to be "your" but eh...doesnt realy take to much away if you decide not to change that...haha...great write..and please do keep writing my friend
-
good ending
-marionette -
wow... that last stanza was awesome.
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