Every finger in the room is pointing at me.
It could be so easy if I was just like them
Where are their pitfalls that I can’t see?
Every finger in the room is pointing at me.
Though what I always hoped to be
Is politically incorrect, a semi-precious gem,
Every finger in the room is pointing at me.
It could be so easy if I was just like them.
Nothing I do is good enough for you
You always find something to criticize.
The pain deep inside, something I wish you knew.
Nothing I do is good enough for you
You've never once tried to take my view.
Insults always drown out my cries.
Nothing I do is good enough for you
You always find something to criticize.
And my heart is sick of being in chains.
Though you've never hit me with your fists,
I guess I'm to blame for my pains,
And my heart is sick of being in chains
It's so easy to cry when it rains
Remembering everything you've ever hissed.
And my heart is sick of being in chains
Though you've never hit me with your fists.
Author notes
This triolet has taken a line from Crucify by Tori Amos as its first line. Thank you.
I read and commented on The Sun's Moods by Eternity Live on
Written December 26th, 2005
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1 - 10 of 10
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Nicely penned. The structure and ryhme is great, flows nicely, but above all it speaks a common truth that is, sadly, too often overlooked by many. Everyone wants to be their best but others can't seem to accept that of them. This world would be such a better place if everyone could accept everyone else for being their best, nothing more.
Great work! -
Good poem. Words can hurt more than actions. How often we forget ourselves in our actions. Excellent write, ADA.
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I call it a 'cento triolet' because it contains borrowed lines. From my understanding, it doesn't necessarily have to indicate that those borrowed lines came from a poet. I was first calling this 'borrowed triolets', but my partner in crime in our triolets contest is calling them 'cento triolets', and I like that term. Of course only the italicized lines are borrowed. Thank you for your wonderful comment!
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Bravo!!! Bravo!!! Bravo!!!
Deborah, I love this so much, Tori Amos was a great choice as well. I noticed you called it a cento triolet. Does that not mean you took the other lines from a different poet? I haven't seen the cento triolet yet. You did a wonderful job with the rhyme scheme and it flowed beautifully. Thank you for sharing this work of art with all of us. All my best wishes in the contest and a definite standing ovation to go along with my applause here. Love and blessings for you my friend, today and always.
Joyce
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This is pretty good! It's a little childish in parts, but it works. There really isn't a lot to complain about here. I didn't notice any misspellings or poor punctuation, just a decent poem that rhymed well - without forcing it. Not bad!
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The triolet is not a poetic form I am familiar with. Other than when in school, I have had little contact with poetry until this past month. But from what you have here, I would say I like it. Not the usual type of rhyme. Very good with the rhthym and the rhymes are not at all forced. Very good work.
Edited on Dec 30, 2:22 p.m. because 'typo'. -
I sense, from this work, frustration and rejection. You seem to convey your feelings quite well through your words. I like the way it flows.
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Great
This is a great use of the form. So much packed into it as well, very well done. -
This is an absolutely wonderful poem in form of a Triolet... It is perfectly crafted. I truly enjoyed the reading of this work. Thank you for sharing with me and for the wonderful gift of your pen. Blessed be, Nena.
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I love rhyming forms and the triolet is one of those that are a pleasure to read and write. You have a lovely write here. I don't know the song, but the lines fit beautifully here. Very well penned. s and best wishes... ~genielassie~
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