An empty room, a broken fairy tale,
So lonely with my painful thoughts.
Everything I try, I fail.
An empty room, a broken fairy tale,
I sit here watching my life’s trail
So many succeed while I cannot.
An empty room a broken fairy tale,
So lonely with my painful thoughts.
Author notes
This triolet has taken the first line from Unbreakable Heart by Jessica Andrews. So many times, I find myself feeling this way, just so depressed at decisions I've made. I realize they are learning experiences, but still, I can get pretty depressed about them!
Written December 26th, 2005
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Comments
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Thanks! I'm brand new to triolets... and I learned how to write them from borrowing my initial line from a song... So, I'm developing my skill by continuing to borrow my first line... for inspiration more than anything else. I'm hoping my next will be a completely original one!
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I like reading triolets. I liked the line "So many succeed while I cannot." the best. I dont think you really need to borrow that line from the other poem/song. You can do even better if you don't bind yourself to someone elses words. (although recieving inspirations from someone elses poetry is wonderful and normal. poetry begets more poetry.) cheers!
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Oh, I must agree with John, this was simply excusit.
Yes, the flow was nice, and the repetition wasn't dull in the least. Infact, it acctually only added here!
Truly brilliant. Keep it up!
Best wishes,
Nikki -
My dear, you have taken to this form like a fish to water. When I first learned about it, I simply loved it, because it had a good structure to it. I usually cannot stand too much repetition, but this form lets you use it without it being overpowering. You have done a brilliant job with this one.
~ John
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