(open in seperate window,audio that accompanies: www.badongo.com/file/300676 )
Mystic evenings and wet gowns
Rose petals and candlelit towns
Treading gracefully with the key
Towards a gothic sanctuary
Author notes
picture can be found at:
www.ravensdream.net/gallery.htm
under the traditional heading and the small icon is of the top right corner's red ball. can't miss it
Written December 26th, 2005
In a list
A contest entry
- P-a-r-t-y cause i got to by Disturbed Prodigy.
1000 points, ended May 11, 2006, 8 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 49 of 49
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Great
Says a lot in few words -
what a fun write.
It gives you just enough to get your own imagination rolling and stops to let us finish the story ourselves.
great job
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Party cause you got to - well that sounds like a good enough reason to me! Congrats on taking bronze in this contest - short poem, interesting title, and a winner for sure!
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You
You Should Have Gotten Gold In My Opinion. Beautiful Write. I Love The Imagery, Background, Word Selection, Format, Everything. Good Write =] -
Congratulations on winning bronze in this contest. Amazing background you have for this write. Where did you get it? Love the butterflies.
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hmmm, this is good, i like the pic, and the poem, you did a great job, keep it flowing and good luck in the contest
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this was all well tied together in a very striking, harmonious whole. It left me with a very ghostly impression ... more of a "Jack the Ripper" feel than gothic, though ... I sort of got a Victorian feel rather than gothic. But nicely done.
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this is nice even in spite of its brevity.
I wish I could have listened to the accompanying audio; I'm sure it complemented this well. however, my audio isn't working at the moment. argh.
anyway, thanks for your entry.
Lea -
i really like this. i was all ready to go until it was goth. not that there is anything wrong with that, i happen to love a few goth kids very much. it is just that i am forty years old and i do not think that they will allow me to enter. viyanna r langager
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exquisite
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Interesting. I usally hate short poetry, and I think you could have done more here had it been longer, but this is pretty good actually. You describe accurately the general romancticism of this place with just a few well-chosen, perspicacious words. This is a strange piece for me in that it is so short yet good. In my opinion, those two things usually don't match. They do here. good! - oce
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What makes this a true piece of art is the fact that the theme from the backgroud, to the picture, to the words, all fit together nicely and gave a loving yet a slightly haunting effect. Awsome!
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wow short but deffinatly sweet. i love it. it is so full of emotion. i find it kinda hard to put this much emotion into four lines so i applaude you for it. nice job. i love the sound of the piano too. i think that a safistication to it. nice job keep it up.
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thanks for your kind comments. did you try out the audio too? hehe
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What an unusual background with all these butterflies, well rhyming verse as well. Very peaceful and soothing, lovely picture too.
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was it well placeD? hehee.
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short but sweet and to the point.
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bg is short tech term for background. hehe
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nice job here, great rhythm and rhymes, so short but you described the sceen perfectly.~~tracy
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GREAT JOB!!!!! :F
Great, job! short sweet and to the point, loved it! Angel
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Short yes, but also good
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If you'd truly forgotten your brain, ya wouldn't have been able to tell me about it...Nor would you have noticed... 
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Mmm, eggnog memories.
That was nice, reminds me of The Nightmare Before Christmas in a way, especially with the picture. Nice to have good poets in our group. -
Most awesomely done! To say you "wowed" me would be an understatement! Thanks for sharing! So much said with very few words! That's true talent!
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ha i was so goofy to completely forget that there was an update on the audio and a comment about the distant picture/ somedays i think i forget my brain. no wonder im always unarmed
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wow, i mean wow, this is like speechless time for me, keep it flowing
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Hey thanks for pimpin' it ... I thoroughly enjoyed it I would punk the bg if I new what the bg was ... big guy? Yikes, he and I don't talk anymore
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thanks trans for your applause and read. I wasn't pimpin i swear! haha. you can punk the bg if you really like it
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Aw yes, there's a good deal more to gothic ... the romance and mysterious mood that you set in this small but sensually saturated poem are so well accompanied by the other sensory forms you use ... masterful dear lady I love those butterflies
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thanks for reading this rambler! pre-coffee memories are always good. well keep writing and hope all is well this season!
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I love short and sweet though I rarely write them myself. Great artwork to compliment the write. Overall very artful. When I first saw the title it made me think of an old Vicent Price thriller. But after I checked it that movie was called The Tingler. Pre-coffee memory.
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thanks pinhead. I've been wanting to write a little bit longer poems, or longer verses anyway, but lately it's all been short in style and I'm not really complaining. if you like short poetry, you should check out my list called short poems and other than seeing how i did it, I dont really have much advice for ya. well, be direct/ concise. what can you say in few words that many can equally convey?
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Damn, this is good. Takes me back to magic nights with beautiful depressed artists. I've been attempting to write short poetry. The spare style with layers of subtext, imagery, and metaphor exibited in this is just what I would hope to accomplish. Thanks for the clinic.
Peace, Rob -
Beautifully done. This reminds me of my younger days. Traveling the night, cloaked, candle in hand to sacred grounds, rituals commencing, laughter and love flowing as the moon shines down and the spirit soars to greet her. Delightfully enchanting
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thanks for reading and commenting
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incredible
how sensual, how delightful! I simply love the piano accompanyment! it's perfect in tone, atmosphere and complete look. from the gothic background, to that mind blowing image. perfect perfect! I'm so amazed of you! -
awww that's really nice... anything with mentions of flowers in takes my fancy though. Well done keep up the good work!!!
x Stef x -
thank you so much for your kind comment. Butterflies and gothic culture: more than a lot of black and piercings
time period, style and so much history. -
thank you klassy for enjoying this write. I love setting a mood. I think every aspect of a poem should be nurtured. from the background to any audio..to colour!
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Great visuals and wonderful imagery in an economy of words, kryspin! I'ts actually sensual in it's gothic atmosphere... now does the background bely that there are butterflies beneath the Goth? I must investigate this possibility further... nice piece!
Edited on Dec 27, 11:56 because ''. -
you set such a transcendental mood with these words, because the vision is so surreal. It makes me think of wading in the ocean surf in a wedding dress! The atmosphere is mytical.
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nah i wish i could play. but i'll be learning shortly. that and piano
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I didnt realize i posted the wrong link to the audio. but the right one is up now!
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I got the sound alright...very cool...kinda sounded like Tragically Hip meets Cold Play meets Evanescence or something...was that you playing??? Thanks for adding that onto your entry...very well done, kryspin... Wanda
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I know, from experience, that you probably can't get the poem any closer to the picture; it's fine...I love the background...flutterbyes & me go wayyy back... The poem itself is grand...quite a bit of power & imagery in such a concise format...I shall try to get the audio going; however, I have a very old computer with very little memory, sooo...I may not be able to...At any rate, an effective presentation, all the way around...I like the artistic view you took for this venture...Thanks for entering & good luck... Wanda
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I was too distracted by the background and the poem needs to be closer to the picture. Otherwise, nice work.
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i thought it was oké, maybe I should lighten the text then?
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very difficult to see due to background.
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you're lucky you get invited into contests. you're probably one of the big names around here too..or a really good up-and-comer.
phenomenal. you keep pumping out work every day. sometimes more than one poem. I love your short series. hope to hear from you soon.
ps i got your YULE card you sent me. thanks a ton!
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