The sweet sound of nothing
Ringing in my ears
Not a distracting sound anywhere
For anyone to hear
The comforting darkness
Closing in around me
The thick fog arriving
To protect and surround me
A comforting twinkle
From the stars in the sky
Their knowledge of the universe
Watching me from up high
The night holds so many mysteries
And so many surprises
I always feel so happy
When the night arises
Author notes
Written December 25th, 2005
In a list
A contest entry
- your favourite write by neonuts.
300 points, ended July 27, 2006, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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I enjoyed it... but a few things strike me. The first thing was the rhyming of "me" with itself in the second stanza... it just bothers me for some reason, I'm not sure why. Secondly, the first stanza you stagger long line then short line. It sort of throws off the flow.
Other than that I enjoyed it immensly!
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thanks :-) i wrote it like four years ago
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I loved this!
I prefer doing most stuff at night, im a nighthawk.
anyways i really enjoyed this.
take care
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first off let me apologise for not leaving this feedback sooner I've had a really hetic couple of months and unfortunately it fell when I posted a contest, and my computer keeps playing up, so I'm only now getting round to leaving everyone feedback
I really like the intrigue surrounding this piece, it flows pretty well and definately makes you think, thank you for sharing this. -
thanks!
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wow I really like this!!!It's definately got a chance.
Kal
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