Egyptian
sunrise in the
desert, shining
through gems of
sand lifted by the wind,
hiding camels
laden with
water and
food to supply
nomadic tribesmen
as they journey.
Who knows
to what concealed
oasis they
travel?
Only the pharaohs of yore, concealed in their sacred
tombs of stone as they gaze past sarcophagi
wrought of gold and lapis lazuli, their corporeal
Ha slowly withering
to barren
preservation,
as the Ba
and Ka are
united
to travel,
as Anubis
weighs their
heart against
the feather
of Ma’at, to
judge their
life and send
them on past
the Lord of death,
down the winding path
towards eventual reincarnation.
Author notes
In Egyptian religion, the Ha was the physical corpse, the Ba was the soul and the Ka was the personality, and the last two joined after death to form the Akh which was similar to a ghost. They believed their hearts were weighed against the feather of Ma'at to see if bad deeds weighed it down. If it was lighter than the feather they were allowed to pass on. Oh, and the shape of the poem is an Ankh, a symbol closely linked with Ancient Egyptian religion.
Written December 25th, 2005
A contest entry
- The Only Limit Is Your Own Mind!!!--Part 7, With a twist!! by secret angst.
300 points, ended September 9, 2006, 14 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Show me what you got! by SilentRose.
450 points, ended May 11, 2007, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 23 of 23
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wow this is a very creative work...i like it a lot...what is this style of poetry called??? thanks for entering my contest
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Shape poetry, or concrete poetry ^.^
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Fantastic poem on an unusual subject. Being a *slight* egyptian fanatic myself I fully appreciate the effort and detail that's gone into this. A beautiful shape and a great poem. Well done!
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Wow, shape poetry can be so impressive! Thanks!
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impressive shape and content. the knowledge you have on Egyptian Mythology is shown with a lot of grace here leaving a historical taste of Egypt to the reader.
well done! -
AWESOME!
Truly... AWESOME! Annnnnnnnnnd you captured my FAVOURITE shape too.. that of the Ankh!! (Neat birthday gift!!
) (I was crazy about this after playing Tomb Raider IV.. lol.. that I hunted every place for such a pendant. and FINALLY GOT IT!! 
)
A Brilliant layout, and beautiful content! I especially love the first stanza which has been captured in the head of the Ankh... There's a certain mystery bound in each of the lines as well as the famous shape you have chosen to depict your poem..
GREAT work! Well penned!
Thanks looads for entering my contest and good luck!!
~>CrystalPhoenix<~ -
Magnificent!
Wow! your lay out is very unique. your wording is of sheer brilliance. I laugh at the cmment my friend Desert Knave made. You really are a talented young woman for being at your age. I am amazed by the way your structural wording and also by the way you rsaly helped us visualize the poem. you really shinned on in this round 1 and I am not suprised 1 bit if you end up with the best ranking of us all. a sheerly beautiful brilliant poem you have written here.
Sincerely, Paul
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Nifty little form. I think it takes away from any content, but wow on getting that to form right. I always tend to lose any shape the minute I hit the submit button. This must of taken a very long time to perfect (or did you just copy/paste?)
(Simon) Meli -
I am really impressed. This is awesome. It's great to have different forms in the contest. Good Luck. -Randy (M)
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This is another excellent performance by you!....You have mastered the technique of shape poetry with meaning including your knowledge of Egyptian history .....Fantastic...Good luck with the other judges ....Paula ....(Lynda )
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I have attempted a few picture poems, and I know they are not easy to do, especially on this site, so I am impressed with that, and with your use of imagery and mythical references.
Edited on Jan 06, 3:55 because ''. -
I love the uniqueness and the way you used words. =]
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Awesome !
Well, I can forget about gold for sure. This was original, visually mesmerizing and the content interesting. Great job. Color me impressed. ~Jim -
Amazing!
WOW - This has blown me away! I really love the poem, and the shape is truly special, it must have taken you ages to get the spacing right! AP is not the easiest forum to do creative editing on
~Good luck in the contest - You are already a winner in my eyes!
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This is the type of lesson on Egyptian history I have come to expect from Masterblaster. Very interesting and complex image.
Jim
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I wish you the best of luck in this contest. I enjoyed reading this and the information you provided regarding that ancient religion I am sure that the shape as well is great( I can't judge that , for I am unfamiliar with it) or I was anyway , until I read this
reenie
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Beautifully done, Macey! Not only the shape of the ankh is excellent, but your poem including esoteric facts about the course of the Ba and Ka after death is very impressive.
(You may appreciate one of mine on this theme: 'In The Name Of...' )
Well done!
~ Gen
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you did a beautiful job not only in the poem itself, but to give it the concrete image of the ankh symbol. really beautifully done and how you ever managed this on AP, I will never ever know...but you did it! good luck in the contest!
Jo -
Just as a note, this isn't a religion I believe in myself, but I beleive that what happens to you after death depends very much on what you believe yourself. These pharaohs obviously believed in Osiris and Anubis.
Edited on Jan 21, 3:18 p.m. because 'Ack, i before e, i before e... *hits head on desk*'. -
Wow, this is definatly something I didn't expect to see in my contest. Nonetheless, it's really amazing that you thought of this and got it into the shape. Must've taken a lot of work. Great job and good luck.
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Wow! I can't believe you did this. It was a total shocker to see this symbol. I was just looking at all the shapes that were entered into the contest and I came across this one and I was amazed. Seriously... this is incredible! Not only is the symbol done perfectly and incredibly, the poem inside the symbol is also... wow.... This is practically perfect! Good luck in the contest!
--Tim -
Unique
This is very good. I love this shape. I don't believe in this other religion, but the facts are there. Good job. Good luck in the contest. Shancy. -
amazed
Props to you,
this was the most unique piece ive seen on ap.
And even as you strived so hard to structure is visually,
you still maintained a good poem.
awsome write
...John...
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