If the sea gang dry, my bonnie lass
I'd fill it up, deep in luve
tha’ springs from me o'er to you
like June’s sweet melodies!
The sea rocks melt wi’ my heart
wi' thoughts o' thee, o summer Luve
I'll luve thee still if the sea gang dry
and the sands of time a' wash away.
As fair as thou art, O Red Red Rose
your heart doth softly, sweetly play
I hear it ten thousand mile away.
O’er the sands of life my luve, come play!
'Till the seas gang dry, wi' the rocks that melt
and if we should part for another day
I fare thee weel, my true sweetheart!
Then come play 'gain, my Bonnie Luve!
Come play!
Author notes
Derived from 'A Red, Red Rose' by Robert Burns 1759–1796
O MY Luve's like a red, red rose
That's newly sprung in June:
O my Luve 's like the melodie
That's sweetly play'd in tune!
As fair art thou, my bonnie lass,
So deep in luve am I:
And I will luve thee still, my dear,
Till a' the seas gang dry:
Till a' the seas gang dry, my dear,
And the rocks melt wi' the sun;
I will luve thee still, my dear,
While the sands o' life shall run.
And fare thee weel, my only Luve,
And fare thee weel a while!
And I will come again, my Luve,
Tho' it were ten thousand mile.
Written December 24th, 2005
In a list
A contest entry
- For men only over the age of 25 by Red Red Rose.
500 points, ended January 8, 2006, 5 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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Thanks, Jim, yes, the dialect is certainly a brain-twister! I see I have a bit 'o untwisting to do yet!
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Hey Wbiro.......what you doing here......like you dont have enough women knocking at your door......the man with a village and calls it a family....LOL....your to much.....such a sweet poem for the lady of the hour......yes yes yes......should melt any womans heart........might even melt mine....
.....lol I too the hopless romantic could not stand the heat of such passionate words.......Hope you fair well ol drinking buddy......
Hugs
Malabu -
Compared with other comments, mine might seem insignificant, but I really liked this poem. The accent is represented beautifully so I assume you speak that way. If not, you still wrote it wonderfully and I hope you win the contest. I don't think I'm going to read any of the other poems in the contest, I'm looking for one myself at the moment, so in my mind you'll always be the winner, even ifshe doesn't choose you. Good luck, I hope you win!
Kellogs
aka. peacefrog
aka. frogger
and many other aka's -
The reference to Burns and the red, red rose are clear but I wish the dialect had been more (mair) succesfully used. I expected o' thee and read of thee, expected frae me and read from me and so on.
Picky perhaps but I was brought up listening to the Scots tongue from my Godparents and others.
The sentiments and poetic style are fine but I find it hard to overcome my initial feeling that it is half done.
Fortunately it is not me you are trying to woo so Good Luck and I hope it hits the right target.
Jim S -
Thank you, Massy... love is an elusive thing, I hope you capture it!
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Afarin
From the beginning to the end poem was filled with pure feeling which is called LOVE. It seems even words come together to describe poet’s eternal LOVE.. I did like all stanzas but this piece attracted my attention more:
“I'll luve thee still if the sea gang dry
and the sands of time a' wash away.”
Reminds me to this: “The equation of love is not applicable to any fixed rules of the world.It kneel down the logic,breaks the lines and captivates hearts!”
Thanks for sharing this with us
~Massy~
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This is a beautiful poem. The flow and language do tantilize the mind. Good luck in the competition.
Jim -
thanks, faerie, may we share some magic beans someday... lol!
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You melt my heart so I can't even fly!!!!All I can do is sit wrap your words around me, look into the that glorious sunset and sigh!
fp ~;~ -
My dear Wayne you most definately are a hopeless romantic! And I do believe that is a wonderful thing to be. The heart of a true hopeless romantic will always shine above and beyond all else. There is no doubt that your heart shines brighter than the brightest stars in the universe. A very lovely piece you have penned here my dear.
Blessings
Bel -
Ok, now I'll shut up and go lay by my dish!
Peace, Rob -
Awww. Very thoughful and pleasing to the graceful ear. Beautiful background and words...the style works well, too.
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thanks, sis, yes, I've been called a hopeless romantic many times! lol
Edited on Dec 24, 8:12 p.m. because ''. -
So much wonders in your words!
Wow, that is such an amazing poem... and the background is spectacular! My goodness, this is so romantic, and brother tomerick is so hopelessly romantic! Wow, wow, wow! I am jealous now!
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thanks, Rose, I'll a' be tinkerin' wi' it still 'till it truly melts thee heart from a thousand miles away...
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