We dare to dream,
and scream obscene,
we shine the beam,
at views serene,
to see the scene,
for what it means.
We take a look,
at lying books,
the devil took,
our soul by hook,
to fill the nook,
and feed the rooks.
We come to play,
this sunny day,
to fly away,
on sunlit ray,
with wings of grey,
we must not stay.
still we dream,
and scream obscene,
with fading beam,
at views serene,
and see the scene,
for what it means.
Author notes
Written December 23rd, 2005
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1 - 6 of 6
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I don't completely understand this, but I know I like it, especially the unique rhyming scheme, good job on this poem, it was really good.
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Sorry Siruya, not quite the meaning I was getting at. In this case "obscene" doesn't mean swearing.
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hmmm...very good. I particularly like this:
still we dream,
and scream obscene,
with fading beam,
at views serene
I don't know if I caught your meaning, but the meaning I gathered was this:
Yeah, we can say we're religous all we want, and we can go to church and pray and all, but under all that, you still catch people talkin' smack and swearing and starting stuff, and that's not what religion was supposed to be about.
And the rhyming makes this almost child-like, actually, a nice touch, all in all. If society continues its trends at the rate it is going, who's going to pay? The children, of course.
Anyway, good write, and I hope I grasped a good meaning, even if it is not the right meaning.
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<7am
So powerful. I don't think it's very dark. I absolutely loved it. I love the first (and last) stanzas the best, not just because they repeat (which wasa good move in my opinion), I love how they sound. -
excellent
Ah, the depiction of life, I take it. I like your use of rhyming, it adds some childishness to the "voice of the poem." I can imagine a rampaging choir of little devilish children chanting this. ... Does that make me odd? ... -
good job!
1 - 6 of 6





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