My silent recession
My coldest confession
The things I never
Would try to describe
My hatred unwavered
Proved to be greater
Than all the secrets
I just couldn't hide
Now with nothing to lose
How could I choose?
My desperate clinging
To all I hold dear
The catalyst clutch
Of bitter untouched
And all I have left
Is my only fear
So just say goodbye, dear
It's okay, don't you cry, dear
Maybe someday you'll be
Free of this fight
It's not as bad as it seems
I'll be there in your dreams
And before you forget me:
I love you, goodnight...
Author notes
Written when I was in an \
Written December 22nd, 2005
What did you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
-
i dont know how to explain it... but that was beautiful, i just had to read it over and over... i really enjoyed this... very nice write... and sorry if you wanted a critique, and all i said was it was good....but im not good at that
-
okay deffenitly the first few lines are my favorites. I was hooked the second i read those ones. Great job, I love the poem and it has a great love. keep it up.
-
I'm unsure as to what event might have triggered this kind of poem. None the less it is beautiful. It really wasn't at all what i was expecting.
-
At first, I thought it was just another one of those cliched romance poems. And in a sense, your poem was a bit cliched. However, the way you chose to describe it (My silent recession/ My coldest confession- that just blew me away) was unique. You could improve this by completely weeding this poem out of its hackneyed phrases that are repeated over and over in all love poems ("all the secrets i couldn't find", and i felt that the last two stanzas were kind of bland) but, right now, i also think it's really good the way it is.
however, i also felt that the ending was a bit abrupt. i thought that the sudden line of "i love you, goodnight..." kind of took away from the effect and the suspense you were trying to build up through the poem.
but other than that, i thought this was a wonderful piece overall. keep it up!
-
aww... This is sad. I really liked it though. I love you, goodnight... That last line really made the poem. great work
-
Beautifully written. You are an amazing poet and deserve many many many many (x100) applauses for this wonderful peice. The way you've written it is elegant and yet brings sorrow in such a flowing way. Very very very well written.
-
I hate good-byes. Parting is such sweet sorrow. Nice write- not what I was expecting at all.
Adding your comment:
1 - 7 of 7
3 old applause
