Not a single call,
Not a single sound,
silent in the darkness,
only my burning sobs resound.
Every wall is bare,
and every light is off,
no motion of the wind,
No creaking in the loft.
My tears are the only thing moving,
Tears engulfed in pain,
Conflagration over my cheeks,
My soul feels dead and lame.
Beside me I see nothing,
Yet a sinister man lurks there,
clothed in transient darkness,
But of him I am unaware.
He stalks my vulnerable soul,
like a Lion watches his prey,
waiting by my listening ears,
waiting for the right moment to say.
And when my shield is down,
He whispers coarsely in my ear,
words that taste like honey,
and yet are words to fear.
You are nothing, your are worthless,
No one at all loves you,
There is nothing left to life,
so end it you must do.
And as my sobs rattle on,
my breaths a gasp,
the pain fire to my heart,
I wonder how long it will last.
My body is shaking,
as I wearily take hold of the knife,
the beauty it radiates,
the key to end my life.
Before I touch its serenity,
I remember of my past,
the painful constant beatings,
My legs running fast.
The bullies at my school,
the bullies at my home,
Never am I good enough,
Always am I alone.
The panting of my breath,
The piteous crying and pleading,
to stop, Oh please stop,
My lonely nights bleeding.
The falling on my knees,
my eyes looking to the sky,
Screeching up to heavens gate,
PLEASE GOD TELL ME WHY?
But still the sky remained bare,
not a sound from Him,
silence and I am lonely,
my prayers caught up in the wind.
So to sin I turned,
A computer screen,
Images that still haunt my mind,
Where sexuality teemed.
And only was I hurting Myself,
So I cried to God every night,
in quick sand I was sinking,
as Satan held me tight.
And still he holds me strong,
So here am I,
In pain unbearable,
ready, Yes I am ready to die.
The cool edge of the knife,
touches my smooth skin,
Quickly I cut,
over and over again.
For every pain,
For every tear,
For every image,
For every fear.
And I slash away at my arm,
Tears, sobs, broken,
My Soul Screaming STOP
My God still goes unspoken.
I feel not loved,
I feel no worth,
I want to die,
Never should I have been birthed.
The Sinister mans smiles,
his job is almost complete,
My death will bring him happiness,
The world of me deplete.
My last and final LIFE CRY,
Is to the God up above,
Who used to be a brick wall,
PLEASE GOD OH PLEASE, SHOW ME LOVE!
GOD WHERE ARE YOU?
I AM HURTING I AM BLEEDING,
I WANT TO DIE,
TO YOU I AM PLEADING.
my cries grew urgent,
GOD ALL THIS PAIN WHY?
HELL IS WHERE I SHOULD GO,
I SHOULD GO TO HELL AND DIE!
I catch my breath,barely enough,
looking straight above,
and I whisper softly,
all I wanted was love.......
Author notes
This poem was written and is true about my life. I have been beaten, I have be bullied, I have cut myself, and I have done many other sins. And I have cried many times for God, who seemed like he was just never there. I wanted love, agape love, Love that truly filled me to the rim. Love that only God could give me. And even though my poem ends, without any love at all.. The GREAT and MERCIFUL GOD has given me that love. He sent his Son JESUS CHRIST to die for me, and now I am alive in him. Praise be to God, who is the God of Love. GOD BLESS.
Written December 22nd, 2005
A contest entry
- Show me emotion. Ages 13-16. Prewrites Allowed. by xkhiemster.
300 points, ended March 28, 2006, 28 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - && sometimes maybe i want to cry too by Simply Simple.
900 points, ended July 14, 36 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Amazing. ^_^ Glory to God.
Excellent poem, and wonderful story. As a poet and a brother in Christ, I congratulate thee. ^.^
Keep up the awesome work!
--Daniel
o}--{=======>
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This is me.
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ouch. you pulled at my heartstring a little too hard.
i wish you good luck in the contest, but you probably dont need it. -
this is a lovely spiritual piece. truthful, honest and asking for help. i liked it alot. very purre and open.
good luck and ty for entering contest.
Kat xx -
great write and good luck in the contest. thank you for entering and keep the ink flowing.
-Abbie- -
This poem is very beautiful,I just wanted to let you know that,and I am sorry for all that you have gone through,I myself have had a hella life,best wishes to you,again,great poem...luvmybabys...
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Excellent
This is absolutely stirring. Wow, what a write. Riveting from beginning to end. Praise God you found Him. -
Firstly I want to congratulate you on your trophy. Nice one! You truly deserved it, and I wish you all the best in the future. xx God bless you xx Keep on rocking xx
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Wow, now THIS I liked, and it's truly worthy of being entered in this contest, and bringing tears to people's eyes - it has everything in it from fear to horrid fascination as the words and story unravel to utter helplessness to reduction of tears .... Absolutely amazing, this is first place quality without a doubt!
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wonderful
Amazing Piece, I really dont read others poems but yours follows the same Flowing that my poems do so it held me till the end. Your story is almost exactly like mine, being bullied, feeling alone, unwanted, unloved. I never cutted myself, but i detached my soul and lost it withing Poetry and Books. once again great piece, not many poems can keep my attention till the end -
Oh i forgot to applaud!! APPLAUD APPLAUD!! xx God bless you xx Keep on rocking xx
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WoW WoW WoW!!!! This piece was amazing amazing. Oh I adored the emotion and depth. Like you said about this being real, I can tell this was real, because I can feel your emotion, captivating me enough, and moving me to tears. Oh it was amazing.
I loved the ending and can appreciate why you finished it like this. God is a truly amazing person, and being a christian myself, can testify this with great faith and salvation.
By the looks of this poem, you truly have been saved from the clenches of the devils arms.
This truly was a spectacular piece in every way possible. Very moving. Best of luck in my contest. xx God bless you xx Keep on rocking xx
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