Brother, please come home; I need you
You promised to
kiss me goodnight
at the last light
Brother, without you, I'm afraid
and feel betrayed
I want you here
so there's no fear
Brother, I'm starting to worry
There's no hurry
You've disappeared
like I have feared
Brother, please don't abandon me
Why can't you see
you're my hero
You're my world's glow
Brother, why aren't things all the same?
The nightmares came
I need you now
You made a vow
When are you coming
to fight the nightmares away?
Author notes
The Minute Poem is rhyming verse form consisting of 12 lines of 60 syllables written in strict iambic meter. The poem is formatted into 3 stanzas of 8,4,4,4; 8,4,4,4; 8,4,4,4 syllables. The rhyme scheme is as follows: aabb, ccdd, eeff
I added some things to it to make it sound less unfinished...I don't like this much though. It's probably because I wrote it while tired.
Written December 22nd, 2005
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Thank you very much.
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Everyone breaks a promise, but the one broken here was quite sad. A very heartfelt and touching write my friend! Keep up the good work! ~John
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Broken promises are one of the most hurtful things in the world. Especially when the promise was made to a child. Thank you for your comment.
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This is a heartbreaking piece to me, personally. A broken promise is something that can really tear one apart depending upon the depth of the vow as well as from whom the vow was to be fulfilled but failed to do so. It brings tears to the eyes to know that one you trusted so for protection has broken their word and you are left hurt and wondering.
A wonderfully penned piece!
Blessings
celticmoon -
Thank you for your comment.
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a different style of writing that i have read, but who cares! this was great! loved it. keep up the great writing!
Darksoul
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I guess it is kind of obvious.
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Somehow, I think I might know how you relate to this. Thank you for your comment.
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This is sad. I think i like this from more than other forms you've tried, or maybe it's just this poem. Because it really speaks to me now. In a way not direclty related...
Okay, done rambling. -
I don't like this one much. I like my first try better because I didn't write it when I was barely coherent. Thank you for your comment though.
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Aww! I like this. It's so sweet and sad. It's a really pretty write and you use the minute poem so well! Jealous of you!
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