I remember an old cartoon
of a woodcutter short and stout.
He carried his axe on his shoulderblade
into the Redwoods and out.
Amongst these giant trees, he made his choice
picking the tallest and the best.
The scene showed flying chip after chip
as he chopped away at his quest.
When he emerged, with his task complete,
he was smiling proud and grand ~
and a tiny little toothpick gleamed,
held by the fingers of his hand.
Today, I realize this old cartoon
was not so much about trees,
but the confidence we have within ourselves
and how sharp words bring us to our knees.
Kind words make us grow and flourish~
turn us into something great ~
But biting words chip away at our soul
bit by bit, and then it's too late.
Our ego that once stood proud and tall
dwindles to a tiny stick
and all it takes to break our heart
is one more tiny pick.
m
Author notes
The woodcutter has been very busy in my life this past week... this just seemed appropriate this morning as I tried to get courage to face the outside world. m
Written January 23rd, 2002
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Comments
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Very Good
Wow this is a really great poem, I've been reading some of your other stuff and I love it all, I'm kinda jeleous because you seem to be able to find the words to fit what you're trying to tell, and rhyme it at the same time. You do have a wonderful talent. -
I enjoyed this poem very much, and it brought back memories of my dad. I used to watch him cutting firewood for the winter. He would swing that axe and it would bite into that tree. The wood chips were flying all around until the tree fell to the ground. MY brothers and I used a crosscut saw to finish cutting the firewood while Dad trimmed the limbs off the tree and cut the next one down. We lived on a farm, and we all worked really hard. Dad never owned a tractor or a chainsaw or anything like that; we did our plowing with workhorses and mules. We cut our wood with axes and a crosscut saw. You have a very good poem here. Thanks for sharing it with the rest of us.
Damon D. Brewer -
i LOVE the originality in this! It's inspiring =) thanks for your comment on my poem..and I liked the top half of this especially, but I feel that towards the bottom the flow got a bit edgier..though still very well flowing.
"Today, I realize this old cartoon
was not so much about trees,"
don't tell me..show me! perhaps
"However there's more to this old cartoon
than the chopping down of trees" same amount of syllables (roughly) and you're not just telling me you realized something..you're showing a bit more (though..in essence..still telling)
I had a hard time connecting "sharp words" to the beginning picture you painted of the cartoon...maybe in that show more of the allegory so that later when you go to tell of this connection, its understandable.
"Kind words make us grow and flourish~
turn us into something great ~
But biting words chip away at our soul
bit by bit, and then it's too late. "
same with this stanza...
you seem to be attempting to present two different allegories...though closely related. One is about how mistreatment of people hurts....the other speaks of love and being heartbroken..which while related, don't mix well in this instance. Try picking one of the two and using the stanza no longer needed to elaborate and go deeper into it. You've got an amazing start to this, just add the glitter.
-JuLz
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this is really a good one. I like this one thank you for shareing it
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Glad to see you growing strong and straight.
New bark is emerging, I can hardly wait... -
Excellent Poem!
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