Look at me!
am I not wonderful?
Do I not just reek of talent and wisdom?
Don't I have such an aura of greatness and piety?
How can I be humble, when my magnificence is so evident?
There will be a star named after me, when I transcend this world.
So great is my spiritual genius!
Why don't I have a job, you ask?
Oh really, Philistine!
what company on Earth deserves the magnitude of my presence?
What employer is worthy of my labors?
No one recognizes the true potence of my ability,
or else they would be calling me with offers of high management jobs.
Slacker, you say?
please!
Don't bore me with your judgement.
I simply value my time too much,
to waste it on trivial things, like manual labor.
You all are lucky,
that I grace this coffee-house
with the glory of my presence.
after all, everyone who comes here
comes to hear my poetic pearls of potency
and wistful words of wisdom.
I wear black
so as not to overwhelm the unready
with the glow of my aura
which, left unchecked
would strike everyone blind.
some call me a Goth, others say I'm a slackovist
but they are just jealous
because while I ponder the depths of the eternal void
They are as deep as a petri dish.
So why don't I have a girlfriend?
Must you ask?
seriously, If I ever meet a woman good enough for me,
then, maybe, I will condescend to marriage,
but for now, I share my company sparingly.
Author notes
Written December 20th, 2005
In a list
A contest entry
- I'm better than you by ArieLLeGiSeLLe.
302 points, ended January 3, 2006, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Funny
This is terrific, the character is clearly drawn with a very humorous swagger. Indeed, when one has seen the limits of the universe, the head swells to encompass it.
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Oh man, that was funny!
There are quite a few that cap would fit, that's for sure 
We call em 'wankers' where I come from 
Good one, Kurt
Best wishes for the contest.
~Gen
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the last line ties it all together so perfectly. "as deep as a petri dish"-brilliant line. Good luck in the contest.
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this one was good, funny
good luck in the contest -
Ok, that was funny as hell. Sounds like someone on this site I have had the unlucky chance of meeting.
Hugs and bites, Lady Raven
Adding your comment:
1 - 5 of 5
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