I found my safe haven in your arms,
Which is right where I belong.
They comfort me, provide protection,
How could this be wrong?
Cheery eyes brightened cloudy days,
Fingertips brush back silky locks.
Lips whisper tender sayings.
Our gazes interlock
Feeling so loved when I am with you,
Causing life to appear very fine.
I only wish that you told me sooner,
That you could never be mine.
Author notes
Written December 18th, 2005
In a list
A contest entry
- Some One You Want But Can't Have by shysky.
450 points, ended March 28, 2007, 14 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrite Quickie! by Blue-Rose Beauty.
597 points, ended October 2, 5 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 47 of 47
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Cheery eyes brightened cloudy days,
Fingertips brush back silky locks.
Lips whisper tender sayings.
Our gazes interlock
Aw! Great write. Thanks for entering. -
if you give this to someone you love I think for sure they will love you more
thank you for sharing your lovely heart!
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Very beautiful almost like my poem "the cliff"
I feel for the person in this poem a sense of sadness overwhelms her/him, because she cannot have this person she lusts after , Pretty cool
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I am back, commenting again. Don't worry, not throwing you out this time. This is a lovely poem. Love poems seem to be some of the happiest and saddest poems at the same time. We long to be loved and we believe we are only to realize we are not. Nicely written. Thanks so much for entering and best of luck in the contest.
Leance L
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I am so sorry, I do really apologize. I have no idea where my mind was at. Please re-submit. Lisa just shakes her head...ugh.
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This is a lovely write however, unfortunately I have to disqualify it as it has 16 lines. I do apologize. If you have any others, please feel free to enter them.
Thanks so much for entering.
Leance
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Um, this looks like 12 lines. Could you explain how you got 16 please?
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This is beautifully done. Yes never can have. and unwanted by him that is what I am now. I hope that you never have to feel this way. Your write was well done drew feelings that were so poignant. Thank you for sharing.
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This is so beautiful!! The end is unexpected, thus incredible. SOOO wonderfully written. Definitely deserving of a trophy. Thanks for sharing. Best wishes. Take care.
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Please re-enter this, it got removed on accident
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Your eyes reflect the light which brightened my cloudy day,
Your lips whisper words that leave me in awe.
Your hands pull me through my many struggles,
Your heart sends me messages which leave me tender and raw
This reminds me more of someone guiding my life than something unattainable. But its beautiful and I thank you very much for submitting it to my contest, i love the ebb and flow of your words, they are beauty in itself.
~A Heart's Hope lies with Belladonna~ -
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did u read the last stanza though?
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wow i am impressed, very well written! great job, and good luck.
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this was wonderful! I enjoyed reading ti a lot. Great job and thank you sooo much for entering my contest! good luck!
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This was wonderfully written. Flows so well. You managed the feelings that this situation evokes very well. Thank you for sharing. I wish you the best of luck in the contest.
Jeannie D Hunter
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Wow this was a great poem it makes me think so much of nikki. I can fully feel the emotion in this poem. This was a very great write. Though your last line of the poem was a heart breaker. That last line you wrote was a heartbreaker. Just saddening. great write!!
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I like the ending of this poem particularly. I enjoy the twist and feeling of changed emotions I get when I read this. Great write. Would applaud but I'm out. Sorry.
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really great poem i loved it keep it up you are a great writer and this is a great write keep it up!!!!!!!! thanx for sharing this with all of us here at allpoetry.......really enjoyed the read
love ya
~~*becca*~~
ziez
you are a great writer and this is a great write!!!!
keep up the great and awesumly awesum work!!!!!!! -
HEy! awesome job. It a realy awesome poem full with true emotions. you where able to put words to a emotion that every girl/guy has felt and one or more time in there life. keep it up.
Morgan
ps. if you can can you stop by my stuff.. I feel unlove..lol.. -
I like the moral of this, and I once dated a guy who was like, perfect, but he was engaged to be married and didn't tell me. My feelings exactly are in this poem.
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You want feedback? Well, nearly every line is a cliche, and it doesn't fit the contest theme.
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There has only been one person that I have felt for like that and the exact same thing happened to me....and just recently too...she is the one that I write about...you hit the feeling right on....great job...
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This is good. I think alot of people can feel this way at times.
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sad. you developed this emotion very well, though. the forbidden love... yet not, how painful!!!!!!!
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its amazing how i stumbled upon this piece because i am in love with this guy david, and i really always have loved him but hes too old for me and i get a constant reminder of it everyday..... but n e ways about the poem... it was beautiful and had good rhythm and i defianately could relate and i know i sound like a copy-cat cause like everyone else has sai that but its true so keep writing and stay strong!!!
*Forget It All* -
Such a happy begginning and such a sudden turn of emotions. It just leaves you almost stranded between them. Great work. Good luck in my contest!
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No problem. . .
Best wishes,
Nikki -
I am vwey happy I read this because it brought me some kind of happiness... I'm not sure why but this poem really touched me and I love it!
Amanda -
I really connected to this piece. I have felt such things, and the last line expecially opened up a wound for me. . . So powerful, yet it didn't have to use many words or anything. "You make me feel so loved when I am with you,
And you make my life feel so very fine.
I wish that you could have told me sooner,
That you could never be mine."
The very last part, expecially. But that stanza just blew me away!
Keep it up!
Best wishes,
Nikki -
Awww I think that really is a lovely poem... I can relate to that feeling very well... Love is a very stressful subject... oh me thinks so, yes. Anyway, keep writing and all the best!!
x Stef x -
I know all too well how you feel. I have been there many times. Good write though, love. I do hope you feel better. Thanks for sharing.
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So sad, but how wonderful you felt during the time before being told this news. Kind of like Garth Brooks's The Dance - would you rather have not had any of it, or lived through it and experienced this as you did?
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i hate it when we humans have to go through these situations....so many times i have and i hate every single one of them...bad memories. I hope you find some comfort in the fact that many of us have gone through similar situations so take heart and think about what to do next. I hope you will find that poetry is such a awesome tool of getting fustration out of your head.
michael
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i love this poem and i can totally relae this is a really greta poem keep it up good luck in the contest keep it up!!!!!!!!! thanx for sharing this with all of us here at allpoetry really enjoyed the read
love ya
~*becca*~
you are a great writer
keep up the great and awesumly awesum work!!! -
great
Having experienced similar emotions this piece really got me from the first word. Great job of taking you through the cirle of a relationship with an unwanted end. Thanks for sharing. -
excellent and sad
WOW..
you have potential.. in your writes.. this is sad and keep getting deeper to death.. thisis great.. i have too kept being sad about my poems..
keep it up.. good work.. stop by my page some time..and merry christmas and a happy new years!! O_~
~PoeticFixture -
omg!! that is so sad! the way it ends you were right it is sort of like me me not exactly its a really good poem ! i loved it!!
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excellent
you can write yourself to death and it doesnt heal shit......but it is a great time filler and we have more time than we need really because we arent going anywhere later....it is a good poem and oh so damn true isn't it????????? -
this piece is just so beautiful. i totally could feel the emotion in it. the two beginning stanzas definetely got me. the whole write was just so heartfelt. i love it. keep up the good work!
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i loved this poem there are many time where I have felt like this sadly.. Great write
~Kate~ -
this was really good, gorgeous words, and honest emotion-and then a killer last line! so sad ! nice one
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awww this is so sad its so good though! well done its very very sad i dont really know what else i can say
keep it up and i hope all goes well for the new year!
-Nat
ps please check out my stuff when you get the chance -
aww its so sad. and Lovly at the same time. I love its you did a very good job keep it up.
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I personally felt your message, and I thank you for sharing you....Keep up your well expressed poetry, it's healing to the heart and soul!
-Timothy The Poetic Weaver~
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i love this. great write. i ecspecially love the depth in it. bravo
¤Amethyst Ocean¤ -
Wow. That last line was really good. It was unexpected and added to the whole poem. It made it dramatic, as well.
This was really good! Keep it up.
Best wishes,
Nikki -
Good poem, it's deep.
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