Diamond sparkling snow
snowman demands attention
mittens call my name~
fat and bloated me
lying on bed to zip jeans
must cut calories~
temptation leave me
i cannot restrain myself
compulsions destroy~
once again New Year
greet it forget the past
two thousand and six~
Author notes
Hope you like these haiku's I can't do funny poetry well at all so I hope this will do for your contest......And I did enter 
Written December 20th, 2005
In a list
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Comments
1 - 26 of 26
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I love the subject and content and I beg to differ as I have seen a touch of humor in your writes and well done at that. I used to think I could not do humor well, and have recently discovered I actually have a flair for it, so do not discount what you may struggle with for it doesnt mean that you cannot!! ( found a trick or 3 to help me if you want)
I will suggest that you review the rules of haikus and senryus and their resepctive chains, for they are more complex than simply their syllable count! Best of luck in this and all of your endeavors.
Hetohke'e * 
YOU HAVE JUST BEEN HOODWINKED
; Courtesy of the Poetic Bandits
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CUTE
This is so cute right up to the part you couldnt put on your jeans.I think you did a real good job and O'ya!!!HOOD-WINK
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I love Haiku, Susan, both reading and writing it, and I think you've done a superb job with these. You have the form right, the subjects right and the connections between each line right.
Of course Haiku doesn't have to be the 5-7-5 or even the three lines, there are different ways to do them, but this is my own favorite style. I enjoyed yours very much
love and
to ya
Dee
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Susan, Was checking to see which ones I missed this am saw your comment to this they can be 17 sybs or under I often write them under the 17 anymore and I would call these senryus
dealing with mostly feeling and haiku's are nature releated but then maybe they are haikus in another form there are different kinds.... They are still cute and could be in a style of your own they are enjoyable reads. Sherry~
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Gave me a little chuckle. Nice humerous look at the holidays.
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forget the past, you say?
so much easier said than done
wait...that's not exactly true
i forget things all the time
just can't seem to forget the things
i should forget
forget what i just wrote
it's early
and coffee sits next to me cooling
my favourite?
the last one
it's what you and i
both need to do!
got your email, will write back tonight
hugs,
~liz -
Sis-I love these!!! You say you can not write humor, but you can!!! The zipper one really made me laugh and reminded me of the time I managed to squeeze (by way of laying down to zip) into a pair of jeans that I shouldn't have for a date (eons ago) only for the zipper to break the moment we sat down at a restraunt to eat dinner!
Learned my lesson that night!
These are all 4 terrific, and how temptation to overindulge is
overwhelming this tme of year!! I wish you the best in this contest, these are truly fantastic Sis!!! Karen
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Susan,
I loved each and everyone of these, lighthearted, smooth flow, excellent haiku's -
i think you have managed to be quite humourous,especially using this form.i don't think that's an easy thing to do.i hope you are well in spite of the weight lose.120 is a good weight,just try not to lose more.i know it's hard under the circumstances.stay as sweet as you are and wear those pounds with pride.
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Hi Susan. No major critique for these, as I'm not a good judge of Haiku and short verse. They were interesting though, and certainly spoke the theme/message instantly; surely a good sign The TEMPTATION one was my favourite; yes, compulsion is a so-and-so! My discipline and willpower isn't exactly my forte, so this one I can definitely relate to!!!
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Brought a smile to my face.
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I love the haiku form and how the images just are put out there, and you have done well with each of these, Susan. Each has its own special "surprise" ending and I particularly liked the first one, but they are all a wonderful series of New Year's thoughts and images--Especially the second one!
Wishing you and yours a wonderful holiday and the happiest, healthiest and most wonderful New Year!
Jo -
definitely brought a smile and you better start eating those calories sis ( even though I do not weigh much more than that) I never dids, and people are envious because I can eat all the junk I feel like ( just have a very fast metabolism ),always have had that, take good care of yourself and rest, much love always,
reenie
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Thanks
I wish I did have to lay on the bed to zip my jeans I did weigh 135 before chemo and radation now I am down to 120 and my jeans are barely hanging on
I can write most any form of poetry but not funny ones I have tried.....and still yet to do these newer forms I am seeing more and more of.....
Thanks for stopping by to read glad they gave you a smile
Love n hugs
Susan~~~
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These made me smile Susan, I can remember more than once breathing in as far as I could to try and make a skirt fasten around the waist, also, laying flat on my back on the bed to fasten a pair of jeans you have done a wonderful job of these, well done
~Katie~
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These were fun. Brought a smile to my face. Yep! love the second one, cut those calories. Checked out, in my closet, some belts to wear. I began to wonder if they were mine. Couldn't even bring the ends together.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to ya.
~Mary O
Edited on Dec 21 because ''. -
I enjoyed your haikus, Sis!
I remember days when I had trouble zipping jeans (never did feel comfortable wearing them..they have to be tight to really look right). Good Luck in the contest!
zzz
Love ya!
♥ Maureen
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Well sis seeing as I myself am not really a haiku type person I still found these cute and rather humorous. I love how you put several of them together forming a new write made up of many little ones. Very clever idea but then again I always knew you were a clever lil one
Nicely done sis!
Blessings
celticmoon -
LOL@Queen's comment no not thinking of you sis........I wish I had to lay on the bed to zip mine up........I just weighed 120 lbs today when I saw the oncologist....I was up to 135 before chemo and radation.......and thanks for dropping by to read
Love n hugs
Susan~~~
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I love the fat and bloated one best you must have been thinking of me
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Thanks Sherry
I asked a good sis of mine on here to proofread for me and help me in case they were not 5 7 5....I still have trouble getting them right the first time.....
Again thank you for the commment
Love n hugs
Susan~~~~
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Great haiku Susan and well done
some cute ones. Sherry~
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Thanks sis
I always have someone read them after I write one I can never get them down pat the first time....so I have some trouble with them myself......thanks again for the comment
Love n hugs
Susan~~~
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Oh so glad you stopped by and also that your not a fan of haiku either makes me happy to see your comment.......Thanks for stopping by to read and so glad you found them humorous....I can't write humor poems well at so I thought of haiku's intstead...
Love n hugs
Susan~~~
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wonderful haiku's I can never figure them out good job here sis.. lin
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While i am not generally a fan of haiku- i enjoyed these tidbits, these morsels of new years... how true the tight jeans one-
humorous indeed!
m
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