They say some features skip a generation
And I'm here to report that, sadly, it's true.
I had a granddaddy named Finneus McGee
With the biggest teeth ever, I'm tellin' you.
My brothers and I all dodged the bullet.
Our choppers are normal, or just about.
But all of us were worryin' and wonderin'
How our children would someday turn out.
Then along came my first, little Jedediah McGee.
And dang if all my worst fears weren't realized.
The doc nearly dropped him 'n the nurse ran away.
His teeth weren't just big, they were king-sized.
But we love the little buck-toothed bastard anyway,
Though my wife can't breast-feed him like the others.
She tried to once and he just about bit off her aereola.
Now she's only got one left for his sisters and brothers.
Author notes
Just a little goofy fun.
Written December 20th, 2005
In a list
A contest entry
- Redneck fun by Prince Charming.
350 points, ended December 22, 2005, 9 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 25 of 25
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Gross!
"She tried to once and he just about bit off her aereola.
Now she's only got one left for his sisters and brothers."
Now I'm not going to tell you what physiological response I got from reading these two lines.
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haha, an enjoyable read....very funny.
Rory -
You’re poems/writing thus far has yet to fail to be amusing. Perhaps you'll be a modern Shakespeare one day! Then again you'll probably never know. :/ Most of the time redneck writings are completely lameeeeee, in my opinion anyhow, but this one actually made me giggle. Yay!
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This was cute and I love it. It made me laugh. Of course so did the last response you put on here. I'm glad you don't make being an arrogant snob a goal. This was so cute though. Well I guess I'm out of things to say so keep writing.
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Shancy, you silly goose, you said "good luck in the contest" even though the contest is already over. lol Sorry for the dirty trick of putting a baby picture up. I try to illustrate all my poems with photos. Just an old habit. I guess it is cheating a bit. haha
Bill Bixby?! I never heard that one before, but I don't mind the comparison. He was a great guy. A friend of mine here in L.A. was good friends with him, and I even have an autographed pic of him and the Hulk from about 20 years ago. People always say I look like Charlie Sheen when they see that photo, but not in person. Someone at the gym asked me if I was Simon Cowell from American Idol. Aaahhh! Now that's a comparison I don't like. Being an arrogant snob is not one of my goals in life.
Sorry for taking the lowly bronze in this contest. I'm sure you'll stomp me next time.
Mark -
You had to do it, didn't you. Ya just had to beat me out on the redneck contest by cheating with this homely child picture!
LOL LOL LOL I loved this. I got my mom to listen to it. She's all I have to share anything with. If that's the real you in that black and white picture did anyone ever tell you you remind them of Bill Bixby. If you don't know who he is, he was the original "Incredible Hulk." Great poem and picture. Good luck in the contest. -
Good morning Mark Rickerby, congratulations on your award! Was a pleasure running sisde by side with so many great writers......better get that boy to the Dentist!
Have a great day, Ken IBT
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can't tell you what made me laugh the most,the image or the words,but this is too funny.just when i think you have outdone yourself,you strike again.this was indeed hilarious.i'm just wondering why the wife would even attempt to breastfeed this one.she should have cooked him a steak in the first place.this is redneck humor at its best.
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Hi Herman,
I never thought of that. I'd heard about feet size but teeth size? But first he has to get a girl to kiss him, and with those choppers, it may prove difficult, unless he meets a girl who likes giant rabbits. lol
Glad you enjoyed this. Merry Christmas!
Mark
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This is thruly the greatest!!! I love it.
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This was very funny. But hey he's going to be famous one day cause they will going to say something will if his teeth are big then you know... I had a lot of fun reading this piece You brought it with with so much good humor. That is not always the easiest part to bring good humor without being to funny. Anyway the curse has striked ma and the other brothers and sisters. An absolute fantastic piece. Well done write with the inspiration you did find Good luck in the contest and many thanks for this entry Herman
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Is`nt it funny how it skips through the family tree? Just when you think it has all been washed out, ooppsss their it is again. In our family it ranges from big bellys,twins, buck teeth,long slinky toes!Where it will pop up NO ONE Knows!! Thanks for sharing..xoxo..
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that little baby's gonna be coming around for his royalties someday!!! I thought it was bad when my Mom and Dad used to show everyone those baby nudey shots in the photo albums...This is worse!
Jo -
Hey Jo,
No, not mine, just a picture I dug up on the internet. I went to a "redneck" site to find inspiration for this contest, saw this photo and knew I had to do something with it. lol
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Well, if this doesn't fit a redneck Christmas I don't know what does. Very funny! I wonder how that little fellow kept those in his mouth, unless it was trick photography. Either way, very funny. Best wishes in the contest and thanks for the laugh!~vj
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What a great poem and i loved the picture
Then along came my first, little Jedediah McGee.
And dang if all my worst fears weren't realized.
The doc nearly dropped him 'n the nurse ran away.
His teeth weren't just big, they were king-sized. -
LOL Mark! you have me rolling here. it's not bad enough the image, but then you add this poem on and it's too too funny! is this really your baby? cause he's gonna hate that you posted this photo all over the internet someday!
regards to the wife too--(ouch, that hurts)!!!
Jo -
Awesome, refreshing, unique excellent write!!
Toooo funny Oh, me and the picture is an awesome accompaniement 
Well done fantastic flow... "My brothers and I all dodged the bullet.
All our teeth are normal, or just about.
But all of us were worryin' and wonderin'
How our children would someday turn out." This is definately, creative, unique and humorous!! Outstanding!! Wishing you and yours much success in all of your endeavors and a joyous Holiday Season Thank you for the laughter and the smiles!!
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lmao this was hilarious thanks for sharing
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What are you on and where can I get some?
Ho man... that was an acid trip.. and I just ate 4 mcd's burgers....... -
What a crack up, Mark! The picture is priceless! And the poem is awesome! I always knew you had a sense of humor, but you really outdid yourself with this one!
Cris -
funnily great
*cackles* Thats so funny... very goofy idea and well written. I like it. -
insanely good!
lol! u need help!!!!!!!
But that laugh was quite therapeutic!
thank u *higz*
Marissa. -
Okay, the picture is hilarious. I agree this is pretty darn goofy. Lol all the same its cute. good job.
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a "little" goofy?
?...you have gone nuttttts!!!!
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