Dark days filled with tears
desperately seeking a way out
repeating over and over
“I reject my life as I know it,
I reject my life as I know it.
I reject my life as I know it.”
Mornings spent retching in
the ladies room at work
as I tried to hide the noise
of my own body.
Afternoons spent lying to myself.
"Certainly I would stay sober.
Certainly I would get over the head ache.
Certainly I would remember how I felt
this morning."
Evenings at home
relaxing
talking
debating
arguing
reaching for the bottle
-the ever-faithful source
of my morning retching.
A night unremembered
followed by a new
morning spent running to
the ladies room at work.
A miracle happened 14 years ago.
The precious Lord God Almighty
reached down from heaven
and rescued
this
poor
sinner.
He took away my desire
to drink.
He filled me with
His Holy Wine
instead.
Before I was hopeless
now I have hope.
Before I was alone
now I am never alone.
Before I was barren
now I have two children
and a grandchild on the way.
Before I had no family
now I have my Church family.
Before I had a pointless job
now I have a teaching career.
Before I was at war with
my mind and body
now I am at peace with
God and man.
Before I was dead.
Today I live.
Author notes
thelordreigns
I pray my testimony helps you. God is awesome. Believe in Him and in His Word! God bless you!
What do I feel about alcohol? That for those who have addictive personalities, it is worse than being dead. It controls your whole life. It is like being possessed. There is only one cure - total abstinence. I hope this is Ok.
This testimony is hard for me to write. It is - like me - a work in progress.
Graphic taken from www.pammeyerswrites.com/window/Top-testimony.jpg
This won the gold trophy in the contest "It takes a lot of courage to change your life" by TLRufener July 25, 2006
Written December 19th, 2005
In a list
A contest entry
- It takes a lot of courage to change your life. by TLRufener.
300 points, ended July 25, 2006, 17 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ~Addictions And Depression~ Round One by blondone.
600 points, ended June 20, 2007, 15 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - "Christian" Before and after. by wingsofgold25.
600 points, ended December 10, 2007, 6 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Beauty In Pain! by bangbaby.
300 points, ended June 18, 2008, 91 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Contest On Drug/Alcohol Addiction (Huge Points) by Viyanna Rosemarie.
20000 points, ended March 12, 38 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Be The First Page In The Book For CHANCE (CONTEST ON RECOVERY FROM DRUG ADDICTION AND RECOVERY) by Viyanna Rosemarie.
1500 points, ended June 30, 25 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 54 of 54
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Good
I am glad to see that you got help, or you are recovering in a positive way...This poem meant alot to me...SG
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thank you so very much for this wonderful entry into the contest for the book for CHANCE and i wish you well in the judging process. viyanna rosemarie
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GOLD, GOLD, GOLD! YES!
I am ecstatic that your testimony took Gold again! Not only is it wonderfully written via your God-given talent, but it brings to the addiction table HOPE and the way out, JESUS. Amen!
Tons of luv & hugs, SisBon
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Congratulations on the gold!
Best wishes -Emmjay
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the sincerity that comes form a person who has experienced redemption from the darkness by gods own hands is indeed a poweful thing...i have no doubt that your testimony will move many and it is a blessing to be able to witness gods miracle in yet another life...thank you so much for sharing this!!
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A very powerful poem here. When I open my mind and get past my own religious hang-ups, I can really feel the beauty, courage and strength in this piece.
Well done on the new life.
Best wishes -Emmjay
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Another one I've read before. I hope this one goes in the book! It's powerful. I remember having to throw up before I could drink in the mornings. Hell!
'He filled me with
His Holy Wine
instead.'
Brilliant lines.
Peace Georgia
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this is absolutely beautiful. definitely an encouragement and something i am looking forward to reading over and over. thank you for entering and i wish you well in this contest. viyanna rosemarie
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this was an amazing!
that is all there is to say you spoke from the heart thanks so much i loved reading this! -
This is a very powerful testimony that is sincear and inspirational. Thank you for entering my contest. Please feel free to check out the group if you get a chance
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I joined the group because of this contest!
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Amazing!
It's just amazing what G-d can do to change our lives. When I read this poem, I could see the 'two seperate lives' that I feel like I have lived. The one before G-d rescued me and the one since. Both so drastically different. I am happy for you that you were rescued from the destruction in your life.
I like how you wrote this with your thoughts that went through your head during the years of struggle. It was like getting in your head. I also like the comparisons of before and now. Well done.
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a superb testimony. i know where you come from, for i was on the verge of becoming an alcoholic myself as a teen. my husband and father were alcoholics so i have seen firsthand the struggle you expressed if not for God. thank you for sharing this. you are very talented. keep writing! God bless you always
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Wow, a wonderful testimony, very well put together.
"I once was lost but now am found."
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This is an amazing testimony and I can see how it took a lot of courage to write this. I thank God that you recovered and are here to tell us about it.
Thank you for entering my contest and the best of Luck.
May Gods Blessings allways be with you. -
wow...i love this. powerful ending.
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Whata gorgeous testimony...all too familiar bond for us that we all can see our same story, just substitute certain drugs of choice...Am glad that you surrendered and had your spiritual awakening and that you are still with us and can share so so many do not have to continue to suffer...well done...Love these lines.."“I reject my life as I know it,
I reject my life as I know it.
I reject my life as I know it.”
Good luck!
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Truly a beautiful Testimony I love hearing this brings so much hope to me this is a lovely entry not to metion both options used which they go hand and hand welcome to round one ~ remember round two will be Fresh Writes only... thank you so much for sharing this write with me...
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The church loves acoholics, cause a real change can happen. But for people like me, who are searching,m there are no answers. The church wouldn't care if I came or not. I think there are worse problems than being an alcoholic- there is the person who society just doesn't care about one way or the other- which is why even in the church there is a very high rate of suicide.
Trust me when I first read your poem, my very first reaction was, wow, that's what I want. But I'm not an alcoholic, so not much chance of me getting it.
I was still very touched by your poem- very very touched. And I am very glad that God touched your life in such an amazing way!
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Awesome job of describing just what this deadly disease will do to us. The thought process we all go thru on the morning after, the guilt, the shame..I enjoyed it ...Scott
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Good Job!
What a wonderful piece you have written! I love hearing people's testimonies and how God totally turned their lives upside down. My favorite part of this poem is your lines 29-34. It left a good impression and had a wonderful impact. Thanks for entering my contest, good job with your work, and good luck! -
Courageous
Writing my life story is not something I could face now or perhaps ever so I respect your courage to do it.
'...for those who have addictive personalities, it is worse than being dead.'
I know this line isn't in the poem but in your authors comments but it really stood out to me. It's so true, I used to crave death like it was a friend I couldn't quite reach. Mind you when we get clean and sober life's incredible to us so perhaps it need not be such a terrible disease where there's a will to change. Thanks for this.
Love, light & peace
Georgia
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I have read this before and really adored this piece. A beautiful and such a ehartfelt poem. Good luck in the contest
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I'm glad that you found God and a way to change. It takes a lot of strength to do that. I'm glad that you turned your life around. Good luck in the contest.
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Wow! This is such a wonderful piece. You wrote it so well. this is really inspirational. thank you for entering my contest and best of luck
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A Testimony that will help others overcome. B
Ya know, Sis, even though this really should have earned the gold, I'm glad it won silver; because you know what the silver means to you and me: when all the dross is removed by the fire, God can see Himself in us-- silver tried in earth's furnace. It really gets hot sometimes, doesn't it; but, in the end, it's worth the fire to be given life.
As you know, my mother was prescription drug-addicted as far back as I can remember; and, she died of a deliberate overdose. So, in this respect, I can identify with your testimony. I praise the Lord that He picked you up and dusted you off; for now you have a life-saving testimony to give others, your life proving there is a way out of addictions, or anything for that matter, and it is our Father and His Christ.
Thank you so much for writing this and for letting me know about it and for being my spiritual sister.
Much love and hugs, SisB♥n
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I read this piece and could really relate to the majority of what you had written. As I scanned through the comments, it dawned on me that I am probably the only non-Christian commenting. But, what the heck? I loved this piece. The images you made with your words and the memories you pulled out of my mind really brought me back to a good ground.
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AMAZING. I don't know what else to say. PAWERFUL and touching. God is so awesome.
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Thank you Jay for your gracious comment and powerful blessings! In Christ - joanne
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Thank you so very much for entering your testimony into my contest! I appreciate it so very much, and ask that you sincerely forgive me for taking so long to judge this contest. Again, I apologize and ask for forgiveness.
I pray for you that God continues to glorify Himself in your life! This was an awesome testimony to read, because it deals with addiction and that is something I can relate to (though not in drink.) I am so glad that He has saved you, and I lift praises up to God for working such a marvelous salvation in His glorious name! Let us all sing praise to the King so devine!
Thank you again, and may He bless you amazingly. May Christ be eternal happiness and comfort to you and your family.
In Christ,
Justin -
This is outstanding.a true testimant to your faith.Well done.I hope this offers the encouragement needed, Ros
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this is such a sad write. I wish things did not have to be that way with all this drinking, im sorry to hear this, thanks for sharing, keep up the awesome poetry, good luck in my contest here.
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Dear James....I am praying for you to be delivered of this addiction. I pray that you will end it now and not 10 or 20 years from now. You can never get these years back. How I wish I could get back the years between my 30 and 37th birthdays - those years are just a blur in my life. If I can help one person get sober, the wasted years become less wasted. Blessings and hugs to you! - joanne
Edited on Mar 30, 9:17 p.m. because ''. -
Wow I am glad you pointed me to this it is so nice to know i am not alone. I know everyhting you said in this piece as i have done it myself I never thought it would happen to me you know. I actauly wrote that piece you read when i was drunk. I do feel ashamed but for some reason that all i want to do is write when i am like that. I know I will beat this I have over come worse in my life and what dose not kill me only makes me stronger. This was beautiful write my friend I thank you for sharing this with me.
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Well, while I do not really care for the form and style, this definately states why you believe. And, as with most writings wrenched from the soul, it may not make sense form or style-wise.
Thank you for sharing, I know it was not easy.
Well wishes in the contest. -
beautiful
When you speak of the love of Jesus and how he has rescued you it is never hard. I wrote poem called I am. This reminds me of that poem. The miracles that God has performed is a testimony.
How could one not believe. I love to read this type of poetry. Brutally honest and oh so powerful. Good Job on this one. -
Gritty, honest, awakening, inspiring, there are not enough superlatives....read several of your poems and people like you are what this is all about...integrity
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great poem! it is amaziing how God can chnage people this is such an encouragement to know that people really can chage with God's help you have a great testimony use it well for the purpoise of God
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this gave me goosebumps, seriously beautiful! Amazing the way the Lord works! He is truelly amazing and I am constantly at awe, I have serval poems abotu my faith, two talk about the was God reached into my life and saved me...very beautiful pome and good luck!
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Wow, I can certainly relate to the miracle working power of Almighty, Joanne. Your fine tribute to such power is spectacular, indeed. Thanks for sharing.
~*Milly *~
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This was just so beautiful to read. Without going to much into it I understand alcoholism very well indeed! I also know that through the lord all things are possible even when shadowed in darkness. Great write, I felt honored to read it!
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very well written
WoW what a beautiful testimony!!..It touched my heart and so happy that He found you and you found Him..God is a Great God..
It takes sometimes a lot to share our lives with others..You did a great job..Keep up the great work.. -
Amen! This is a wonderful testimony! It is a gift. Not everyone will have a testimony to share. You have been blessed. Great write!
Safely hidden in the darkness,
~ The Rocker who lost all...but gained eternal life -
Working on a testimony like this is difficult. You have done a great job with it. Keep writing you are amazing!
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Very powerful indeed.
It is always hard to write that which has pained us so and well I commend you for doing that. Sometimes that is why I prefer to leave some things where they are because I too have my testimony of what has been done for me. -
Hi, it's great my friend, straight from the soul with a rare honesty, loved it, sorry but am clean out of points and applauses does not happen often but it has today, a wonderful write that deserves a lot of applauses, all the best, a special hug Di
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WONDERFUL poem gave me the chills... This poem is so true and real. LOVE IT. MAY GOD BLESS YOU IN EVERYTHING YOU DO!
Lots of love.
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A wonderful poem, and I can think of a few people I want to read it. Thanks for sharing it with us.
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powerful
This is a powerful message, and a wonderful witness. I'm so glad you shared it with all us. Though I have never drank, and don't have any desire to, your testimony still brings me hope, and warms my heart. Especially the part "Before I was barren now I have two children and a grandchild on the way". I know, I must trust and believe, that God will bless me with children.
Beautiful.
Krista -
Joanne. I'm sitting here with tears streaming down my face-your testimony is so close to home for me; my sobriety has only been for l7 months-even though it seems like it's been longer. But up until less than two yrs ago, I went to bed every night either passed out or barely able to make it there and in the morning, no idea what or who I may have talked to the night before-I was soooo ashamed and I hurt relationships within my family by my cruelty, cuz I was not a nice person under those circumstances. I hate to say it, but knowing you have walked in similar shoes has somehow comforted me-b/c I have such respect for you and with God's help, you have walked away from that. My answer came in the way of rehab-I had been crying out to the LOrd to help me stop for a long while, and when I ended up in the hospital and rehab was my option, I saw that as His answer to my prayer. Well, I've rambled on long enough-I thank you so oooo much for sharing-bless you!!! vj
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SILVER WINNER
This is a winning testimony, dearest Joanne! Now, you must follow this link to pick up your Gold trophy and points! Made a mistake in the verdict line, said silver.
allpoetry.com/Contest/1712931
Edited on Dec 22, 9:34 p.m. because ''. -
This was a beautiful testimony. I can not imagine what changes would be necessary. You know, God never expects us to be great writers or speakers only to share the changes his love has made in our lives honestly and openly..I think you did both here. Plus, the writing was great anyway!!
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Joanne, This is a touching testimony and I thought it was very well written and probably hard because the enemy. As Bonnie said it will help others by bringing hope who have struggles of some kind or struggle to see the freedom. Sometimes its your very words that are sometimes needed and on a sight as this you never know who may really need them. I'm so glad you found a peace and really a better way letting go can seem so scary yet the blessings which came for you are worth it all. Oh Joanne wish I could express to you more my heart on this but I'm so glad you are happier now sweetheart. Wonderful testimoney I hope you have a blessed Christmas... With love, Sherry ♥
Edited on Dec 19, 11:05 p.m. because ''. -
Exquisite Testimony
Yoohoo! Joanne made it to the party! Sweetie, don't even think about making any changes to this glorious testimony for our Lord. It's testimonies like this that help those who are where you once were, and encourages them to strive to be where you are now. It is beautifully written and conveys so much more than mere words.
We'll be back for the final judging!
Lots of love and hugs, B♥nnieQ
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