Hello? Is anyone out there?
Is anyone listening to me?
Does anyone care what I say?
Anyone care what I feel inside?
Another Christmas is coming
Wishing time would go faster
Hoping that it’s all just a dream
Wanting to forget the pain
Another year not with my father
How many years has it been now?
Four, Five? I’ve lost count.
Wanting to feel his hug again
Anger, rage towards those around me
Trying to hide feelings deep inside
Screaming at God to take away the pain
Confused and doubting everything
Desiring not to go to Florida
Hating the thought of going
Wanting only to stay home
Wanting to see my dad
Haven’t seen my dad in over a year
Only talking through instant messages
Wishing life was different, perfect
Wanting just to see his face again
What if he was to die tonight
And I missed that last Christmas with him?
What if today was our last time to talk
And I forgot to tell him I love him?
Author notes
This poem pretty much says it all, but ya. I'm going to Florida this Christmas because my mom's boyfriend lives there. So she's forcing me to go... and I don't really have a choice. Anyways, I'm leaving on the 24th at 2:05. I haven't seen my dad in over a year and I haven't spent Christmas with him in at least 4 or 5 years. He's coming into town because my step-grandpa lives here. His plane gets in at 2:30 on the 24th. Meaning I'm going to miss seeig him by 25 minutes... I hope my flight gets delayed or something. Anyways, ya, sorry about just rambling on, but that's pretty much what this poem is about.
Written December 19th, 2005
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1 - 10 of 10
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great
This is your wiish for Christmas?That's SO great..I mean,I knew the story(thanks for sharing),but wow..Seriously>..
..If I knew you in real life I'd give you a great big hug 
now!
Stay Strong,
transcended_dreamer -
lol yeah well that's me for ya
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Ya, I talked to my mom about it, but there's nothing she can do about it. I mean, we already have our tickets and she spent over $1,000 just to get us there for Christmas... so ya, I don't want to weigh her down anymore. Plus she's been kinda sad recently and I don't know what the problem is... I don't want to put her down by me being down. I live in Colorad, my dad lives in... Arizona, I think. Never been to his house, but I don't know if I really want to.... But ya...
Thanks for your comment... it's funny because at first you said "I don't know what else to say." and then you wrote that long message.... 
--Tim -
... oh, tim...
this is so sad. there's a lot of emotion here, it almost made me cry. i really don't know what else to say. i wish i had some words to help you feel better!! did you talk to your mom about wanting to spend christmas with your dad? (Ah! there we go... my dad's going away for christmas to my stepmom's parents' in New York and he won't get back for a long time and he doesn't even want to see my sister and i before he leaves tomorrow morning. feel better? lol) i'm really really sorry. that really sucks. feel better. maybe you'll enjoy florida, swimming on christmas day while i sit shivering at home. your mom should definitely know how you feel, if she doesn't already. that's so sad that you only talk to your dad through IMs... does he live very far away? like you should see him more but don't? anyway!! this is a wonderful, sad write. you really have a way with putting your emotions into your work. it's amazing. just... try to look at the bright side and have fun in florida. great write, tim. great write.
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poor u... i no wishing cant change anything... but cant help but wish... wish i could spend christmas with the ppl i lov... and miss... and wont c for the longest time... i guess im sry... i cant relate... but i feel the pain anyway *lol dont ask*
mushy -
Oooh...Yeah, that sucks...but at least you know your dad.
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My parents got divorced when I was 4 years old... not 4 years ago.... ya, kinda different. I've spent Christmases with Dad since then, though.... Ya... this poem was more just venting... I guess I didn't really know I wanted to be with my dad for Christmas until the opportunity actually arrised and then for once we aren't actually going to be here for Christmas. This is the first time ever that we're going somewhere for Christmas... which makes it suck but ya... Thanks for reading it.
--Tim -
Hey I have a secret for you; nothing is ever perfect. It's always complicated and hard. I know you have a whole lot of mixed feelings on all of this but don't worry. Everything is all in God's plan and you should put some faith in that. Okay now onto the poem; you displayed good emotion and made everything come together beautifull. Great job!!!
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You're lucky. You actually talk to your dad through instant messages..and actually get to see him a few years. Ooh yes, and he was your dad for a loong time. Just four years ago was the seperation? I haven't had a christmas with my dad since I was 1, I barely talk to my dad. When I'm with him....he's a workaholic and I spend more time with my siblings and step mother, then with my dad.
I have never really known my dad. Just one memory of him when I was younger...and then every so often never seeing him. My mom divorced him when I was 2....and I never really had a father figure, just my Papa..but it's not fair of him to treat me like a graddaughter and a daugther, it's not fair to my mom and Brandi. My Stepdad didn't really treat me like a daughter...he would yell at me, and he just didn't know how to be a dad. *shrugs* I never get to see my dad, he doesn't write me..he doesn't call me. It's about every three years for a week.
One time during the summer...I went to his house for a week, he WORKED 90% of the time I was there. and then the NEXT WEEK, when I was going home..they went to Florida. AT least you have a relationship with your father. I wouldn't know if he died or not..because we don't have communication..I have no idea what happened to him. It was said that New Hampshire flooded....and I don't know if he's alright or not, because he didn't call to tell me...*Shrugs*
Great poem. Lots of emotion. -
Beautiful emotional
This is so sad did you make a wish for Christmas.They do come true you know?
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