...Wanting to strangle a whore on this planet?
Was when you fucked my best friend,
and let him video tape it
You even blew my second best friend too
(the lieutenant's best friend).
I never knew you were kinky, and how I missed that
frankly, bugs the fuck out of me.
Am I so in my own head that I'm blind
to what signals other people are sending me?
Scary, I know, sodomy... All that voodoo
Wow, but with me, finger banging on route 66
Foothill blvd. and kapow!
Another ticket, and in love -- selling shroomz
In the hot winded basins
Of Southern California, La Raza
Children, teen lovers, hot knife fights
And early American ghetto revolutions
Charcoal pits, and turned chicken
Drunk into the shook night, 4 string guitars
And dryed gourds, rattle dee boop, and chiggadee boo-chew
Oh, oh how you lady, do do, ah doo deetle-ee oh
And I melt ice on your neck and nipple
and we get tattoos under blue moon and
make oaths to children, and pets, jewels
And poof like that, it's over
But that's not true, since I owe it all to you
and the eventide.
Yes, I've got big creative juices
A giant of spoken word
I make vowels and consonants vibrate
and circumvent nothing short of history
But aren't we all
In there, is there really sleep?
A god that will hold me,
and make it all better
An ear, a great wise ear in the sky...
Or just Orion and his hound
stringing me along like
a dynasty of maize slick Pharaohs
A ghost mummy all wrapped up
In verbs and predicate
Subjects, and inevitable nouns
that or this adjective
Foster parented adverbs
Oh dear, and pronouns
Vines of musical projection
I'm so sick of the sick
Damn, It's good to learn
A new tantrum
For the big cheese.
64.34.180.106/artist.aspx?id=9993
Author notes
Written December 19th, 2005
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 36 of 36
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Of course you do, that's why they call you Sins Of Passion, word.
So what's the tattoo of on the small of your back, and why exactly do you
pluck, and then pencil in your eyebrows? -
number one dumbass, I AM MEXICAN...number two, i live IN LOS ANGELES, number 3 who the fuck are you to judge anyone?stop trying to stereotype everyone...the only person i blame are idiots like you who think they know it all...and lastly, i know more about the REAL world than you can ever think you do in trying to pass ur shit off as music...
Edited on Dec 31, 2:50 because ''. -
Occasionally, that'll happen Sins Of Passion (I'd rather misspell some
loose mexican term than fall victim to the cliche of calling myself 'sins
of passion' with a straight face anyday though) You might be able to pull that off, but I live in the real world, not at the mall of America at the Spencer's register
with my overweight gothic buddies Luke and trisha. Making fun of everybody else because I really can't stand myself, and blaming it on my parents. -
You obviously didn't read past the first 4 lines;
it certainly references 'that' (whole sex nonsense) at the beginning, but then
quickly moves off into other areas, like Uranus.
As for finding more of a thrill in my comments? Staring at your chunky chipped funyon'd toes and that wig you're calling a mustache these days is no picnic either sweet heart, so get in line.
Edited on Dec 31, 2:18 because ''. -
more adolescent screaming...(a woman done me wrong...wah wah wah...)
reading your insults in reply to the comments is more interesting than the content of this...poetry. -
wowsers......this is a crazy crazy off the wall poem! god damn...i am going to have to check out more of your writes if this is just a taste of your talent....wow.
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well damnit man..the title grabbed my attention yet the first stanza glued me to my seat. How you turned a situation like that into a poem like this I will never know, but I know you are one hell of a damn good poet. I have known you before as onyx fire tear. I am still stunned by your work!
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yes yes and more yes!!!!!!!!!
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what does maize slick pharohs have to do with cheating? what does the social climate of southern cali have to do with a girlfriend who is a freak with everyone else but you?
and you spelled LA RAZA wrong. -
Even your bitching has rhythm.
I think the best line is
"Am I so in my own head that I'm blind
to what signals other people are sending me?"
K -
Here's what I'd like you to do. Go back and read the title
Then ask yourself "Am I asking for alot here"? I mean do you need
a stronger plot? Perhaps a flaming plane into mountains backdrop?
I mean help me out here, Jesus. -
I personally loved "maize slick pharoahs" myself.
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You're like the obese guy at the stadium with a giant hairy belly and a sloshing beer bitching at the weather man because there are a few clouds when all he's trying to do is eat a hotdog with a hooker he met on the way in.
We can all rest safe in knowing that JESU'S birthday is nearing, and that will keep you busy for awhile, and hopefully out of traffic. -
I'd be another in a long line of ass-kissers if I said I thought that this was good in any way, shape or form.
This reads like the beginnings of a Penthouse letter gone astray. I've read much, much better from you and I'm honestly disappointed.
Infact, I'm so disappointed that whatever points I gain from commenting will be donated back to you - there is nothing to gain at all from this, except for perhaps - and that is a BIG perhaps, a childish display for attention.
My dog does a better job of begging for a bone.
Of course, this is my opinion. And of course, you and lots of other people will differ. -
WHat ever this is to you, it does make the reader think.. Most of your work does that though, if a person is to understand it at all. The beginning definently catches ones' attention.. Wonder where that came from.. Athena
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it's a rant that had to be said...
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A super rant, Jeremi.... and as usual, I can see several different meanings and references to some of what you wrote...probably all mistaken, but I don't care.... I still love reading your stuff ...I just need to get a new brain cell or two, I guess.
A good job, a good rant....I hope it helped
Merry Christmas...happy Earth Day...whatever stikes your fancy at the moment, so what if it's only December
Dee
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I thought that as in April....
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Happy Earth Day!!!
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Very deep writing. Nice rant. Wonderful job on this poem. Keep it up
Desyre
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Wow, what a very strange poem. I liked it alot, i just never really got what it was about. About betrayel of a lover? About getting by in life...all of the above. Maybe it's just a rant and theirs nothing more to it. Hmm..Well, it was a very original piece of art. Loved it!!
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this is Horus 8 and he I can't help but like .. he says whats on his mind and congrats for that.. nice rant!
any more let me know lol . Linda -
Wow.. fucked up~ ... I'm sorry!
Great write though. Very nice... don't be mad...
SMILE!!
AMANDA
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Merry Christmas you.
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You obviously have issues.
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rants are very cool, this one is extremely interesting...love your style jeremi
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Challenging and provocative!
A great beat and a very intelligent but almost freenzied write like rock and roll and metal bands all playing on the stage together.Imagery is frenzied and word choice sophisticated with references to mythology and God.There is a brilliance about this and feel it could be the lyrics for a very way out band.You have really lived,loved and seen it all but you dont sound very satisfied,like you want to be rescued.Creative and talented Poem with a almost bizarre rambling going on. -
I didn't understand what this poem was really about but I liked the stanza "Yes, I've got big creative juices
A giant of spoken word
I make vowels and consonants vibrate
and circumvent nothing short of history
But aren't we all"
-
Wait, I know, it's "mad night" yep, I'd better change that,
that's totally way too beaty bo beaty, bo, ba, ba, ba beat. -
I don't know what freaks me more...that you wrote this kind of shit, or that I understand and have lived most of it.
Probably the later.
But you know, and I know, and we brush the flakes off our shoulders, or bend them over, and our silence is filled with things we wish we hadn't seen.
But it is there, and we shit and shit, but it still remains inside.
Fuck you for making me remember.
I love this. -
It would be beat, but for one thing, it's 2006
Just because I mimicked Kerouacs sing talk,
certainly doesn't make this beat, more so,
than just me talking. Perhaps because I'm familiar
with a lot of beat work, some scraps have fallen
off into my soup -
Wow. Speechless here. So just wow.
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This is refreshing (not the subject of course feigns pity) but the style and the brilliance of words. I also read this as "beat", but however you want to classify it. Very good.
Best wishes
~Meli~ -
I was probably too busy writing it to put that much effort into kitty cornering it.
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oh man, the least she could've done was be as kinky with you as she was with the other guys. By 4 string guitars do you mean basses? Anywyas...this was awesome.
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Where's the gawd damn reefer?
Hmmm... very.. BEAT!
Why didn't you mark it as such? Oh, let me guess, you were trying to see if anyone could tell.
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