Twas the night before Christmas, which nobody missed
for until tonight it just didn’t exist
To tell you the truth there was not much to say
just a run of the mill sort of Bethlehem day
The little brown mouse was out taking a stroll
making quite sure he was close to his hole
He kept his eyes peeled as he looked out for danger
that usually appeared from a dog in the manger
But tonight it was different; there was no need to run
for the manger was filled by a young couple’s son
Joseph a carpenter; from Galilee
was there with his wife under Caesar’s decree
When down from the roof, there came a bright light
which blinded the mouse who had very poor sight
He stumbled and fell; took a bang on the head
and woke up the sheep who were tucked up in bed
As he brushed himself down and he straightened his pride
the door to the stable was flung open wide
And there in the doorway stood three foreign kings
a couple of goats and a shepherd who sings
They had come for the party, drawn in by the light
that had woken them up on this Bethlehem night
The kings had brought gifts; as good foreign kings do
while the shepherd had furnished his own special brew
Once they all had a drink and the cake had been sliced
Mary informed them she’d called the child Christ
Then raising their glasses they wet the child's head
and the little brown mouse made his way to his bed
Mrs Brown Mouse was waiting when he staggered in
with a scowl on her face and a mouse rolling pin
As usual she ranted without really listening
when he tried to explain he had been to a Christening
Next morning he woke with a terrible head
When he looked in the barn, the young family had fled
The shepherd while supping the last of the beer
Wished him Happy Christ Mouse and a Merry New Year
..
Author notes
Again I hope i have upset no one
Written December 18th, 2005
A contest entry
- 'Twas the Contest Before Christmas by JamesyWamesy.
300 points, ended December 24, 2005, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Christmas is coming soon by tawk.
425 points, ended November 19, 2006, 16 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - TEN THOUSAND POINTS OF RHYME! (now 12,000) by cricketjeff.
1850 points, ended December 4, 2007, 31 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 57 of 57
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I never knew about murine saviours of mankind. But of course we have a rabbit saviour in Watership Down, so why not?
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Congratulations on your trophy, a well deserved win.
We look forward to seeing you in the next round and subsequent rounds of our contest.
Thank you for your entry...Sue and Jeff
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So I guess Jesus was his last name
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No matter what time of year or the occasion, you always put a smile on my face with your lovely wit and humour. Your ideas are so very creative and always have such great flow and rhyme. This is indeed a wonderful, light hearted and very cute Christmas entry for the contest. As always I absolutely love it. Excellent. Well done and good luck in the contest.
Shaz xx
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Brilliant
Wow what a creative and funny and yet spiritual write. I just loved this, the flow was perfect!!!! I will never look at Twas The Night Before Christmas the same ever again I will always think of this brilliant poem. Good luck in the contest
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Thank you so much for deeming my poem worthy of the silver award.My congratulations on a fine contest and to the other winners and those who entered some wonderful works
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Thank you so much for your comments I am pleased that you found it an enjoyable read Thank you for doing so I appreciate it
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i was just trying to see if i could comment on my own work and i can Strange
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Thank you miss V its nice to hear from you again I haven't seen you posting much for the last few months. How are things,I hope they are getting better.I have just been over to you page to see if you have posted anything new.But you seemed to have stopped.I hope you start again as you have a fine way of expressing yourself,sadly it seems to be pain that is mainly what you feel .I do so hope that you are finding things a little better Thank you so much for your comments I am so pleased to raise a smile.Thank you so much
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wow this was the nicest cutest thing i have ever read...ever. thank you it really warmed my heart and put a big fat smile on to my face. loved the way it was just so different and not from the same point of view as normal...thanx=D>
Edited on Jan 02, 1:52 p.m. because ''. -
Thank You Von my dearest friend. It is always a pleasure as you know to receive your comments.I hope no one took offense at it, as i know that there are some who have such strong beliefs That even the thought of writing something humorous about the religion would upset them That was why the authors comment
Have a wonderful break my fried and look to see your in the New Year
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What an appealing story - I feel that no-one could be offended by it. It has everything, a might dose of humour, mouse rolling pin lol I could see Mrs Mouse, standing there with her arms crossed Where do you think you've been till now? LOL
Just lovely mr fiend. I have some catching up to do. Your work always makes me feel something, always stirs my emotions in one way or another. that's why I love to read your work.
Another winner I feel.
Vonnie
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Thank you pam for you always welcome comments.Its nice to write a little fun into ones work now and again,there are a few contests that let you do this so when the chance arives I go for it.Thank you for your comments
Hope you and your loved ones have a Happy Christmas,
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Bravo! Standing in Applause
What a precious piece. My friend your Chirst Mouse spirit is bursting at the seams. I am reading this one to my daughter. How truly wonderful a piece this is.
Merry Christmas my dear friend. Keep the great stuff coming. ~Pam 
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Hi Sandra Nice to hear from you. So pleased that this was enjoyed.Its nice to know that it has spread a little smile where ever it landed.My thanks to you for commenting.May I also wish you and your Family the merriest of Christmas's and the Happiest New Year Take Care
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Wow, yet another amazing write from you. I read this one to my whole family and they loved it. When I get more ink woth your permishion I would like to print it and hang it on my wall. You have done well here, and everyone is saying to tell you they loved it. Keep up your good work. Merry Christmas. And a Happy New Year.
Love Sandra -
Thank you Sandy you are far to generous with such a wonderful comment,( but being a big head I'll accept them ) Hee Hee.I am so pleased that you enjoyed it I had fun writing it.As you know i love to include a little humour when i can
Have a nice Christmas -
WONDERFUL POEM
Ah this was such a joy to read this morning. I loved this. Wow, this was so amazing. This should definitly win. What an endearing story . Children and adults would love this
Thank you for all the smiles this morning. You are an amazing writer. Take care. Merry Christmas and a Blessed New Year. Sandy
Edited on Dec 22, 6:08 because ''. -
Thank you Anna i am pleased that you saw this poem for what it was a light hearted look at the birth of Christ.And no some sort of a religious knock.I would never dream of doing that.Thank you so much for reading and commenting Thank you
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It was meant as a nice funny story and it was a funny story. You have a great imagination. I liked the way you put this poem together. It made me smile. Very well done Legend, as usual. Anna.
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Thank you Fairmaiden Yes you are right this time of the year has always been a favoutite in our house.I love to dec the house out with bright shiny lights inside and out.It really is a wonderful magical time even though my daughters are grown up and Left home we still carry on the same as when they were kids Thank you so much for your comments Have a nice Christmas
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Thank you Linda I tried to get a little humour into it as well as make it a little interesting in its idea.hopefully that was achieved thank you so much for your comments
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You are just too cute! Such an adorable read, you must really enjoy this time of year. Great write Legend!
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What a great write Legend, I enjoyed reading it. Good Luck in the contest.
Linda. -
Thank you Meena for taking time to read my work yet again and for taking time to comments Thsi is always appreciate Thank you Have a nice Christmas Legend
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My Thank to you Mal for your support so pleased that this one was an enjoyable read for you Its nice to get reactions from my fellow poets Take care and have a merry Christmas and a Happy New Year Legend
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oh gosh..you just come up with the best and deliver smiles all around. Enjoyed the read very much! Good luck in the contest..take care~
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Oh ... your welcome .. it was a pleasure for me ... looking forward to read other poems of yours !
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Hey Ledge, well done my friend you compiled this write beautifully. A quite unique way of telling two stories together, and who knows Mr Browns ancesters may still be around telling the same tale.. Merry Christmas to you too...mal
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Thank you miel-anie for your comments i am pleased that you found this one to your liking It is nice to hear what other poets feel about you work Thank you for your time in doing so
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Thank you Rebeka for a wonderful comment I am so pleased that you found it enjoyable.Thank you so much for reading and commenting.I appreciate it
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ohh .. thats so cute ... reallly nice Xmas story .. I just love it ... ! Good job !
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oh this is adorable Legend! you never cease to amaze me with you clever poetry. thank you for sharing this, it is wonderful!
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Thank you Tears now don't go choking on that coffee.I don't want to be the cause of some catastrophe.Not at this time of year So pleased that you enjoyed this one It was a pleasure to write Thank you once more for your support Have a Nice Christ-mouse
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Legend as always your almighty pen has brought a side dish of joy with my morning coffee.. Thank you for shariing this delightful write.. And the start of the day smile
Blessings And Merry Mouse
Tears
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Wwwhoo sthorry abbout thhat Damn rose thorn was stuck in my tongue.Thats better Wow Spike you say I loved that Guy, OK so he was Certifiable but hell man so would most of us be if we dared to get tested. So pleased that you found it a smilie read I do so like it when i have done what i intended to do , Raise a smile.Thank you Clarity so much for your most welcome comments Have a nice Christmas
Edited on Dec 19, 7:51 because 'typo'. -
Thank you Shaz its nice to throw a little curved ball in there now and again.So pleased that you found it enjoyable Thank you for taking time to read and comment.Have a nice Christmas
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Unbridled cute humour
You're a legend! Where does it all come from? You are as skilled as Spike Milligan was and just as irreverent, haughty and naughty. Serious people smother a smirk; but your humour I'll never shirk! Thank you for many smiles. Put this between your teeth - Clarity.
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What a wonderful and entertaining piece of work, Legend my dear friend you have done it again--this is a loveley little christmas tale and a pleasure to read. SPLENDED!
shaz xx
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My thanks to you TearsFromTheHeart for reading and commenting let me assure you that it is appreciated Thank you
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Thank you Jim my friend, i like to try and add something different where possible.Just to try and keep the reader amused and interested.If i can do that then i am happy Thank you as always for your support Have a nice Christmas
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My thanks to you Herman Nice to hear from you again.I was hoping that the introduction of alcohol would not upset anyone, as it was never intended to do so.I have to much respect for the feelings of the reader to do that just for the sake of it. It just seem appropriate with the festive mood in mind.Thank you so much for your comments And have a nice Christmas
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Thank you Sue so pleased that you found it an enjoyable read It was fun to write Thank you for taking time to read and comment Have a nice Christmas
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Thank you Dee it is nice to get such reactions to my work. I do so love to slip a little humour into things, no matter what.I find that it can usually overcome most barriers.Thank you so much for your most welcome comments Have a nice Christmas
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My thanks to you Jasmine I have no problem with criticism of my work it is put up to have that done.And i accept that it may not be to everyones taste Hence my authors comment.I was not intended to upset anyone, though i can see that anyone with strong beliefs may take offense.I try not to get caught up in that way I just write poetry the way i feel. My thanks as ever for such a wonderful comment Have a good Christmas
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Thank you Jamsey for your comments They are taken on board I am a little surprised that you found the inclusion of alcohol upsetting .As Christ's first miracle was turning water to wine at the wedding So alcohol played a part in that region. You also asked for humour,this is so difficult if you wanted a piece about Christs birth. But after all it is your contest and i accept your opinion Thank you for your comments It is a great contest, with some fine works Have a nice Christmas
Edited on Dec 19, 6:22 because ''. -
Thank you Lynda for your comments It is nice to know that this was taken in the context it was written Just a little fun,with the under tone of the story of the birth of Christ Thank you so much for your comments
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Thank you R.S for your comments so pleased that you found it an amusing tale,It was intended that way.Thank you for pointing out the errors i do so appreciate you doing that.As ever your comments are most welcome Thank you
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wow i love this. it's cute. it's wonderful. great job!
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Wow Legend. What a new take on the birth of Jesus. This was very entertaining from start to finish. You are a wonder my friend.
Jim -
LOL I loved this new tale of that chirstmas story. They must have brew something close to Belgium beer out there on the fields that has givin them such a headache. I had to laugh through the whole poem from start to finish. To me it does not mind to use some alcohol in this humor write, we here love to drink some wine with our chirstmas dinner as well. Great take on the christmas subject early Chirstmas greetings from Holland Herman
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Another winner...this is outstanding. All the Christmas cheer has certainly not put a damper on your unending talent. A very cleverly written entry. I love it!!! ~ Sue
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Here I thought you were going to write a seriously unlikeyou poem... and instead you turn it into a real giggler... must have been the booze ...it always makes me giggle
I'm glad that someone finally got the story straight, though...centuries of the written word seems to get the original translation all mixed up...lol... pretty cool story
Good luck in the contest.
Dee
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Funny and clever
Hello Legend, A wonderful write as always!! Boy there are some critics about rewrites huh??lol Anyways, I happened to enjoy the tale completely and it certainly could not have been easy thing to do!! I especially chuckled at the 2nd to last stanza...lol rolling pin..funny
Well, best of luck to you a great entry for this contest!! Jasmine Merry Christ Mouse
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The poem started out fine, I thought it was going to be a neat rendition of the Christmas story... until you had to ruin it with the alcohol. so that cost ya, almost as if you hadn't put the Christmas story in at all. but other than that, good rhyme and meter, but also, it was not very close to the original.
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adorable
omg....lol..This is so adorable...I love it!!! The title and the first stanza to the last is delightful!..Good luck in the contest, my friend!!
....Lynda
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unique, vivid, inspiring.
'straitened' is 'straightened'. 'child head' is 'child's head' [unless you meant it as child head.]
Ha! Ha! I laughed out loud at this one...especially the Happy Christmas Mouse." I do not know how you think of these funny things. But I really enjoy them. Booze in the manger, too, so human.
This poem, written so well as it usually is, is a real tickle, but it has the underlying message of the birth of Jesus given in a unique way.
The Christian beliefs are still there and the poem reminds us well of the true meaning of Christmas. You have done a wonderful job with this and it is really superb.
Hee! Hee! Poor old Mrs Mouse!
Edited on Dec 18, 8:43 p.m. because 't'.
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