I listen to the bells ringing out from hell
With every note, another ghost with a story to tell
From glory they fell, becoming nothing but a statistic
They'll have to die to be identified as ever existing
Missing out on a life, wife, son and a daughter
So wars author can erase, and take the place of his father
A soul slaughtered, it bothers me that the nation embraces
The hypocritical, political shit that's thrown in their faces
Lets take a moment of silence for the violence
Quiet kids, truth be told on back of their eyelids
Privates sent to die, the front lines, the crime is
To let a generation die fighting a war of disguises
Surprised? It was evident in front of our eyes
But instilling fear, leads to willing killing and blindness
Divided by the lies that tied the tongue of the mindless
How many have to die before we question his highness
Author notes
Written December 18th, 2005
A contest entry
- Poetic War by FullyAlive.
300 points, ended July 5, 2006, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 63 of 63
-
keep striving bruh, we all in the mental wars together no matter how different.. i haven't been here in a minute-- was out grinding just like you to earn my spot in the light...so I'mma keep striving and you do the same.. lovin' this man keep your dreams alive
-
This is amazing. I absolutly love it. It flowed so well and basically describes all wars. I dont know what else to say, this is just so great.
thanks for entering =] good luck in my contest
-x-
Edited on Jul 04, 8:52 p.m. because ''. -
Deep, strong emotion. Great write. I like the way you make your readers realize that the soldiers who are fighting for our freedoms are people, not an expendable group of toy soldiers whom no one will miss when they are gone. I respect our men and women in service who are fighting. Whether they are on the frontlines, in a tank, or in an office doing paperwork, they are to be commended for their service to our wonderful FREE country. We owe them a lot, yet they are willing to sacrifice their lives for the freedoms we all take for granted. Thank you for this piece. Jeri.
-
Intense and powerful. This had a flow that I could hear at a "slam" and I loved it. Angry and eloquent - a fabulous combination. Way to get your point across and never lose the spirit and your voice, you have a talent. Well done. Peace!
-
Good rhythm and rhyme in this poem - easy to read and understand - war is never a topic we want to write about, but you have penned a good one here.
-
wow this is a really good poem, I like it alot I don't hear many poems like this very often, good job
-
amazing
omg this is amazing!!! i LOVED the rhyme and flow and the story you told. and its soo true. here are a few lines that stuck out in my mind:
I listen to the bells ringing out from hell
With every note, another ghost with a story to tell
Surprised? It was evident in front of our eyes
But instilling fear, leads to willing killing and blindness
Divided by the lies that tied the tongue of the mindless
How many have to die before we question his highness
evident in front of our eyes, and then u say something about blindness. that says sooo much. we question his highness, greattt last line. it really makes you remember the whole piece and then you remember the whole message which you really pulled off and got across.
GREAT JOB!!! -
good
well done. I think you have a lot to say.The line truth be told on the back of their eyelids is, to me, the best line I have read in a while. You need to change "wars author" and put an apostrophe in to "war's author" other than that it is very well written -
I hope that my applause will say it all
reenie
-
wow, this is full of the truth and what makes it so great is that more and more people are realizing it and putting their opinions out there where they can be heard. really great write!
-
Tremendously Good !
This is such a beautiful and meaningful poem !
And is 100% true ! Everyone and Anyone can relate it to anything thats going on in their life or in the world ! And it will soothe them to know that somebody as talented as you had made such a wonderful poem about it. And the nice thing is they didn't even ask you to make this poem and didn't tell you what was on their mind it's like you knew. Very good !!!!!!
Extremely touching / 
(The smileys are something to show how i feel right now .. it's to show that this is such a nice piece of work but i've still got a little sting of a tear in the corner of my eye if you get what i mean ??!!)
Yasma XxX -
EXCELLENT
I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -
if you read this as if it were a rap song it flows perfectly and holds an awesome rhyme
when reading it out loud you can put inflections on certain words giving it perfect rhythm.
i really admire the rhyme on this
-
I totally agree with this poem, I love it...Stupid bush
-
I LOVE IT ....very excellent.....I can't stand Baby Bush and he stands for(or not)...I am really feeling this piece...it angers me daily,that's why I don't watch the news as much...but, I really enjoyed your poem.....
-
I love Bush, but I love this poem even more. It has such a good flow to it. I love how you didn't just typically rhyme, but did so in a unique way
-
Your poem flows effortlessly. I won't comment on the content, as I know what discussing politics evokes. If I disagree or agree with the stance you take, I diminish your poem's value. It is well written.
-
Good
Good job. Great piece! -
Amazing WORK! GOOD JOB!!!
-
you have done an exceptional job getting your point across my friend....your rhythm was good although in some places it seemed to be slightly off...but it did not detract from the power of the peice....well pened...keep the talent flowing through your veins and always share your gift....
Meus Opus Magnus and Blessed Be....Alison-Maree
P.S. Don't Be A Stranger Just Be STRANGE!!! -
i liked this poem a hole lot kudos from me . kudo!!!!!!! this was scertainly nothing less than amazing
-
Well, the rhyme was frequently off - ditto the rhythm - but the ideas expressed are certainly worth hearing. I personally think we should be in Iraq and Afghanistan, but the reasoning behind the invasion of Iraq is pure crap. WMD's? Where?! Atomic secrets from Nigeria? Where again?! It seems to me that if we're going to invade a country then we damn sure better do it for the right reasons, not invented ones. Good poem! - oce
-
wow
Great write,I can tell you really love what you do.Keep up the good work.I hope to read more from you real soon. -
..."Privates sent to die, the front lines, the crime is
To let a generation die fighting a war of disguises.." That was the best part. Although I have a husband over there right now, I don't support the war itself. I think was a tremendous piece and I hope the contest was well for you! take care and keep writing! Applauding necesary <<33
-
i agree with "shh-sues-writing", because i'm a strong republican too. but it was a wonderful poem, you're very talented! keep it up!!!
-
well, i'm a bush activist and really, really republican, so this isn't quite for me (it's nice to hear other opinions once in a while still) i did have to say, however, that it's written really well... you put your thoughts together nicely, and your expressive words reflect that... just thought i'd say that for your writing!
-
Have commented on this one before, I am sure.
-
WOW, RIGHT ON, EXPRESSED MY SENTIMENTS EXACTLY, THIS WAR FOR WHICH SO MANY HAVE DIED , AND I FEAR THAT MORE WILL.FULL OF NEVER ENDING PAIN AND ANGUISH. WHEN WILL PEOPLE WISE UP AND QUESTION THE REASONS WHY, WHEN, WILL THE BLIND FINALLY SEE THE LIGHT? YOUR POEM FRIEND HITS THAT NOTION RIGHT ON THE BUTTON. KEEP ON WRITING.GOOD JOB
Edited on Jan 27, 2:17 because ''. -
Great Job!
I enjoyed reading this poem. I agree with it on all accounts. The government doesn't tell us even 1/2 the truth.
Toxic Waste.Gov
-
wow i saw ur point right away
it was very enthuistic and emotion was great
i hope you win the contest becuase u deserve it ....
this was so great -
You did really well getting your point across here. The imagery and emotion was well used. And I don't usually prefer rhyming poetry, but you did such a great job here! I'm really impressed. Good luck in the contest!
-
Magnificent read !
Amen!!! my poet friend, its all about, OIL!!!! and one mans stubborn pride, why are young innocent men and women dying and them people will never change! "Looking for fruit from a dead apple tree!!!!!" -
How many have to die before we question his highness
i really like the way you said this. i have a friend over there in iraq. he says it is not a war that can be won--another vietnam. he says the iraqi people are too dependent upon us now. ok-i don't mind helping others but at the same time--what about the US, we are falling to pieces--our children dying, healthcare, etc... anyway, didn't mean to get started.
this is one of the first political things i have ever read that made sense to me so it was nice to be able to understand for a change.
thank you very much for letting me not feel so stupid for a change. -
Its a good poem, Im not sure about the message itself, but I do like the way that its written out. I prefer not to touch the subject of politics as someone will always be able to prove a good point on how I was wrong in one way or another. Or in all ways. This was good, but as I can tell, a lot of people have already found a lot of things to complain about, for your own personal opinion, I think you did a wonderful job in expressing yourself. : : :
-Ash -
very Good
Great poem ."Truth is the frist victem of any war" This was a well done piece,put togeather nicely. Good job and keep writeing. -
like the style but i hate the insults on bush but please lets not get into politics ugh politics make me sick. but aside from the negative comments i at least like the form good job on that part
-
hey man that was raly good i dont raly have a lot to say other then i agree with you with all my hart hey do me a faver if you get the time chak out dark eagel its a pome i made and agon this was a raly nice pice o and hey sory about my spelling i cant help it
-
I am speechless, does not happen often. This is fantastic. Full of opinion, very powerful.Privates sent to die, the front lines, the crime is To let a generation die fighting a war of disguises" I could not agree more. Incredible write. Thank you for sharing.
-
Great messege. I personally do not like Bush because I feel he has gone about things the wrong way. Sure, I'll admit I think he did the right thing with 9/11, but what happened afterwards really brought him down in my eyes, and I think many others. The war in Iraq has gone on far to long and it wasn't started for the right reasons either: it wasn't over WMDs, it was over control of oil and a family grude. At first it may have all been good and true, but now it has all turned into a lie.
All that aside, great write with a strong messege. I particularly like this stanza:
"Lets take a moment of silence for the violence
Quiet kids, truth be told on back of their eyelids
Privates sent to die, the front lines, the crime is
To let a generation die fighting a war of disguises" -
Keep coming back here - time to applaud.
-
Yes this was very well written. I could go on saying compliment after compliment on this as others have already covered them, I think you get the idea. I do love politcally based poetry. even more to the point I love your disdain openly displayed about this foolish fight, numbers a few months back seething over 2,000 lives lost. Even worse these lives were lost in vain it seems since what have we gained?
-
Have read poems and arguments for both sides. Not here to judge the right or wrong of your viewpoint, but your poetic style. This is easy to read and understand, and has a good rhyme and rhythm. Enjoyed the read.
-
you hit the message well but i have to agree that that last line of the poem seems to be 'out of place' as if it never really belonged there to begin with
Rae -
I won't even get too deep into politics with you, being that I actually have a background that would imply I might be more informed than you. I was an intelligence specialist in the USN, and I happen to know that the only person that Bin Laden hates more than George Bush would be Saddam Hussein. I briefed of the likelihood of weapons of mass destruction long before this war ever started. I'm not a democrat, or a republican, the whole thing sickens me. If you watched the voting on C-Span regarding the new judge appointment, only one democrat voted for him, and no republicans voted against him. Why vote on anything if every topic at hand is completely bias one way or another. I don't hate George Bush, I just feel like the way he's gone about this is all wrong. If he had it to do over again, you'd better bet he would have thought twice about invading Iraq. But in simple terms, I'd say he's pot committed, he put too much in the middle, and he'd look like an idiot if he folded now, do you know what I'm saying.
-
I give it a 5.8
You people sicken me. Just like the Romans! Ever read Caesar? You know where Caesar gets up in fron of the people and is like "yay Caesar, we agree with everything you say!". Then later the next guy gets up and rebukes everything Caesar says and the same people cheer like "yay, screw Caesar, your our man!" Rome fell due to their stupidity and inability to follow through with their words of passion and anger.
Kinda like when September 11th went down and we all stood up and said "yay, lets kick terrorism in the butt no matter what the cost!" and now we're all like "boohoo, didn;t know people were actually gonna die at war, this is a bad idea." You people are so shallow and you go with whichever way the wind blows you without concrete opinions of your own.
If you want to blame anyone fo rthis war blame the first Bush. He is the one that had Saddam surrounded and then let him loose. He couldn;t finnish what he started so his son is left picking up the pieces and you all give him grief for it. Now don't get me wrong...Bush is far from perfect and I don;t expect everyone ot respect him, but dangit, at least pretend to have some respect for yourselves! -
incredible
omg wow this is such a strong, opinionated poem. Bravo i applaud you!! It speaks alot of truth which we hardly ever get to hear anymore. Well done, best of luck Jane. -
wonderful
this is great work !!! -
I'm glad I read your comment on the last line of this, I thought you were referring to the soldiers from our home country dying on a daily basis for absolutely nothing. I never have considered this a war, more of a poorly construed, somewhat tactical invasion to gain power over oil fields and settle a family vendetta. Why are gas prices so high again?....Oh yeah, greed.
I see exactly what you mean in this, too. This entire war, this entire presidency, has been based on nothing but mediocre policies, financial lies and hypocricy.
Well written, you really got the point across. I'm on your side, if that means anything. -
This was so right. Great flow, great rhyme scheme, great vocabulary, all adds up to a great poem. Good luck in the contest, you'll do great.
-
I just edited hypocritical, thanks... And I also changed murdered to question, which makes more sense. The last line was actually derived from a statement made by a friend of mine about how they're surprised that nobody has taken a shot at Bush, but presidents like Lincoln, JFK, and Ronald Reagan have targets on their backs, just so you understand. peace
-
the last line is more of a statement that refers to the fact that alot of the great presidents, lincoln for instance, are murdered, while presidents who statistically have done little to nothing to help our country, are left in tact. I'm not saying i want him dead, that line was derived from a comment made about somebody being surprised that nobody has attempted to assassinate him being that he is very unpopular.
-
the last line is more of a statement that refers to the fact that alot of the great presidents, lincoln for instance, are murdered, while presidents who statistically have done little to nothing to help our country, are left in tact. I'm not saying i want him dead, that line was derived from a comment made about somebody being surprised that nobody has attempted to assassinate him being that he is very unpopular
-
Nice poem, but I don't agree with your viewpoint. I am not going to get into another debate on this subject, but I support President Bush, and his policies. I have friends who are fighting right now, and they are not fighting because they were brainwashed or deluded into thinking of glory, but because they want to help other countries and protect our own. America is becoming corrupted, but I don't think that anyone can stop that at this point. People have tried, and failed, for so long that I am beginning to think that it is inconceiveable.
~Amanda -
four stars * * * *
I like your piece, it's a very good anti war poem, but I don't like the very last line. I don't know why because I'm not that big for Bush, but it bothers me to read "Until we murder his highness" It just seems cruel. I know that when you read this you'll have the urge to tell me "well the war is cruel. Sending our men to fight is cruel!" I know all that, but murdering someone for it won't make it right, it will only make them feel better for a short time, then America will get another idiot for a president and the cycle will just continue. America Government has lost it's points of moral so things are only gonna go down hill until the morals return.
*~*Linda*~*
****aka****
*~*animesdarkgoddess*~*
PS...
I still think your poem was good, despite the last line. Sorry if I forgot to put that in my comment. It's a good write. -
This poem was well written and could be easily read. Although, that I do believe that war is a necessary part of survival sometimes, I can understand and empathize with your point of view. You spoke your mind through this poem on a very controversial subject and I respect that. Not only that, but it was a great poem in itself, the way it was written.
~Bethany~ -
This was a pretty good poem. I might have missed out on some of the deeper points of your statement, there was a lot of metaphor. Perhaps it's just me. I'll come back to this and decipher it when I have a brain, haha. But as a poem, I really liked it. Good job.
-
This was a really powerful and heartfelt piece- your clear and intense passion radiated throughout for me as I read. It's sensationally honest, and truly a breath of fresh air to read amongst all the political garbage we are consciously and unconsciously bombarded with each day. Excellent piece, you have echoed many of my thoughts. However, as windworder comments, I do question your ending, which seems to be calling for the murder of Bush. I'm not sure if this is for rhyme or effect or is in fact exactly what you are stating, but I believe that the killing of any human being for whatever crime is not only cruel and harmful, it does not serve a purpose other than publicising the harsh rulings of the government. Who are humans to decide who lives and dies? You do express your opinions very well, though. My only suggestion is the spelling error of hypocritical in:
"A soul slaughtered, it bothers me that the nation embraces
The hipocritical, political shit that's thrown in their faces"
Thanks for entering, great piece, and good luck in the contest.
Em -
"How many have to die before we murder his highness,"
Curious ending. You plead for the lives of young soldiers who are trained to kill and go to war, then you advocate killing the President of the United States. I note hypocrisy here. -
wow what an amazing piece. i really enjoyed reading this. your words are very powerful. Excellent job. Keep it up!
-
Your poem was very...political. It definitely drew attention to the system as a whole.
-
Wow I love this piece. You can truely write about anything and your point comes through beautifully. Amazing Job!!!
-
Amazing piece you've got here... Very powerful, but also with a solid, smooth, rhyme scheme. Great job with this.
-
Great anti-war piece! Now give it to the Militant Mullahs to complete the circle!
Adding your comment:
1 - 63 of 63
