Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Insecure (List Poem)

 

Inadequate;
Stupid, illogical,
Klutzy, bossy, nosey,
Unlearned, confused.
Scattered.

 

Damaged;
Bruised, abused,
Demeaned, ignored, lonely,
Suffering, pain.
Reality.

 

Actualized;
Work, confidence,
Writing, reading, verbosity,
Knowledge, consumed
Me?

 

Lovely;
Heaven, comfortable,
Exciting, unbelievable, honesty?
Why, choose   
Me?

Scared;
Feelings, emotions,
Words, silences, questions,
Inadequate, damaged
Me.

Author notes

A list poem. Sometimes you can say so much with short, choppy words. Three steps forward, three steps back.
Written December 18th, 2005

A contest entry

What did you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 20 of 20

  • fae
    January 25, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Oi! Thank you hon. Is odd to call it a form but I guess it is. I think writing fewer words is actually harder for me... have to pare so much down (is NOT verbose)
  • Mickie27
    January 24, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Fantastic my dear friend you have said so much in this list and I think its amazing the form. You have introduced me to a new form of poetry I never knew existed when I have time I will have to give this form a try.

  • fae
    December 20, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Lol! Thanks hon. Yeah, PB and I bring out the philosophical in each other.

  • December 20, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    Clever

    Hi! Love it! Know what? I am saving this for the comments!

  • fae
    December 20, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    My cowboy done ride off into the sunset And he knows it! I don't even have my friend no more YOU tell that cowboy to plant his boots back here when he wants to talk SPY! SPY!

  • Shadowspawn
    December 19, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    What cowboy? Where? What horse? Save a horse ride a....

  • fae
    December 19, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you Very much!

  • zillion
    December 19, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I agree with you. You said so much through this list of descriptions. Very deep and meaningful. Thanks for entering,

    -Faithful Dreamer

  • fae
    December 18, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Anytime

  • p b without the j
    December 18, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    ahhhhh!!!!
    you always know what to say. what a gift....and i hope you feel better and get better and you're always in my ♥ , you know? you are!!
    i'm rooting for you!!! forever!!!
    got to finish essay. brain is dead.
    thanks, though. more than you know.

  • fae
    December 18, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Ah you make my heart melt [to quote yahoo snowman!!!] It wasn't so easy last week. It wasn't. I wanted to just give up. Just you know, not pursue more help medically, just fade away until I'm gone. BUT, I DO have great friends urging me on, and my mother too. I KNEW from experience I would snap out of it. But I do get low. Real low. And angry at fate, at why i have to suffer so. I don't know, in the end you can either suffer more or work to ease at least some of your suffering. So I choose, always, eventually, to work hard. I am a professional sick person-- it's a full time job. I even get paid for it. Anyways. Lol. Secret lover man dude faded away, rode off into the sunset on his horse. What a cowboy.

    I will remain single. I cannot give anyone anything, not at this time. It all goes to myself. Has to, in order to survive. Besides, I think I lose my libido! I am thankful for THAT [falls out laughing]

    Listen. Parent's aren't usually the enemy. They KNOW you're going to be a somewhat different person as you get older. They are probably lying in wait for that day. What they probably don't see is the one thing we are always taught NOT to recognize: that the personality is set early on. You are who you are, you won't change THAT much. Your decisions will be different in life, as you journey through it, and your BEHAVIORS will change in response to aging. Somewhat.

    Being a teenager is almost like being poisoned. You drink the elixer of OH MY GOD CAN I JUST PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE BE DONE WITH MY CHILDHOOD ONCE AND FOR ALL AND LIVE NOW AS I WANT TO. But society isn't about to let you forget your age. No way, no how. But realize it IS a poison, it's this neverending I WANT I WANT I WANT like a mantra though your mind that says NOW I WANT IT NOW. To be an adult, etc etc. It will get better. The antidote is time. Patience is indeed a virtue and not one I ever had either

  • p b without the j
    December 18, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    you're just..eek!!! you're so my role model. if ever i had to have one. you'd be up there with martin luther king jr. and the guy who invented batman. and you're so brave! you're sick and you live and i don't know if i could, if that were me, i wouldn't be able to...good friends help. like chatty. for you. and for me...? my parents...*sigh*
    they're so supportive, but they don't know.......??
    hard. life is hard, too. along with being weird and pretty.
    how are you, with all that stuff? and what about mr. secret lover man dude? i haven't heard about him in the longest...

    *wishes there was a butterfly smiley thing*

  • fae
    December 18, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Glad I make sense to you. You know, age discrimination is near and dear to my heart. I hate it. I have lived it so so much. When you're 22, and deathly ill, and the doctor's don't believe you [for WHO would have THAT so young huh huh] well it pissed me off no dang end! Nowadays, I am really taken seriously. Almost a day late and a life short, if you ask me.

    In the end, you have nothing to really prove but to yourself. Screw em all. People cannot look past your youthful visage to the old soul beneath; they're just not able to. If you don't expect ANYONE to, then one day you will be surprised when someone comes along and really DOES see you My momma always told me to lower my expectations; I don't think she counted on them being on the dust-covered floor though, so I had to shoot just a little higher. Extremes. I YEAH you know. Me. Extremes!

  • p b without the j
    December 18, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    that makes sense. i just want to be up NOW!!!! so grown UP. no one.....argh.
    telling people i'm thrity instead of a teenager is like telling a banana-covered wall to move.
    and....!!!! but life goes on, i guess. and soon i will be old, and people will listen. but maybe i'll be all drooly. ew.

    you're wise. thanks.

  • fae
    December 18, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    We're all family Lol

    Yes it does hon. The older you get, the more experience you have of feeling intense emotions, you know you can get through whatever it is that's bothering you. When you're younger you have hormones which is kinda like being crazy at least it was for me. Everything is SO intense. Emotions. And such extremes of emotions make everything so much harder to cope with.

    Life itself doesn't get easier, it gets harder; but, as time goes on, you are better able to deal with the curveballs life throws your way. I do believe that yup

  • p b without the j
    December 18, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    and wouldn't it get all poluted?
    does life get easier?

  • fae
    December 18, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you PB for reading and commenting on this sad piece. I really appreciate it. Haven't been writing much that isn't medical! I do miss my muse. She hasn't left the building, she's just on a break

    I would so love to meet you and others some day. Then again, the mystery is still there when you haven't met face to face and that is it's own reward.

    No, I was totally teasing you about your 'edge.' You're a free spirit hon, and that has always shone through in your writing and posts. If anything, you are probably becoming more truly and uniqiuely 'you' in your writing and posts than you were say 6 months ago. It's all you though. We each have so many facets to our personalities. I can, for instance, be a real b**. Kinda rare for me to show it though and it comes from insecurity and hurt, shades of the past. One could say I have an edge too I think we all do. Yup. Miss pudding lover. We could all go swimming in pudding. Wouldn't that be cool? Then again, wouldnt it go up our nostrils?

  • p b without the j
    December 18, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    you're so....eeeek!!
    how'd you do it? i can never have list poems seem so...real. they always seem all...list-like.
    anyways....woah. i feel like now i am totally in sync with this and you and everyone. everyone knows what i feel. creepy yet somehow ironic. i wish we all lived close together.
    i wish....argh!!!!!!!!!!!!! i think everyone should just wish really hard and then we'd all be together and stuff. and i'll bring the pudding. yuuuuuum.
    and i...am so confused sometimes. is it really so hard to see the real me? i know the real me. kinda.
    sometimes i don't know....
    but it's life(!!!!) y'know? life is just so....weird.
    weird and beautiful and weird. all at once.
    you're amazing. and amazing!!!!!! and AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!

  • fae
    December 18, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you so much Tom. You're kind to read me, always; I haven't been reading much lately. Well there's this HUGE tomb I am reading... and am only half-way through! Riveting book. You ah hit the nail on the head of course thanks again

  • tomisb gold member
    December 18, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Like bullets, the words pierce me. The everlasting hole in the soul that sucks the dark night in and erases all the positives. Your words capture the confusion the around 'n' round thinking full of deprecations that fill every alone hour making the sense of self a horror to be avoided and more vacuum for the world to rush in and run over. Good job. Love,Tom B.
1 - 20 of 20