Was it so hard to accept my love
That you had to hurt me?
Was it so horrible being subjected to it
That you tore it from me?
Could you not stand in the mess you’d made
Without tearing me down with you?
It was too much for you to conceive –
An undying, unconditional love
You wanted to kill it
Well my dear sadistic toy
You killed it well – my congratulations!
You poor, sad creature
Scared of the ropes and chains of commitment
Proud of your ability to scar
Reversal of the pain is the norm
You may crush the hearts of those who wane below you
But it builds the spirit and soul
Turns lovers into enemies
Forms might of the weak
You poor, sad, lonely man
Believe what you will
You are no greater than man
For the sun shines without you
Rivers sprawl through towns, ignorant of your futile existence
You are only – in your form – capable of a creation called love
Capable of a destruction called hate.
Venomous viper of contempt
Your hiss alone dictates pain.
So much good turned so vile.
Poor, sad, lonely man
You scarred the lover
But as scars fade through time
Distances grow.
My scared little Rodent
Run from your trap
For I am the Eagle whose wings have spread
I am taking flight
You shall never meet my likes again
Never pull me into your dreams.
My fevered little Rat
Turn your back on your life before
As her back has turned to you
And, as I leave you behind
I fear not for you – I fear not of you
You dark, murky lake, casting still and deep
Stirring for few
Wallowing in others drowning.
You hated me
But I am tall, I walk proud
And I am flying away
Goodbye.
You were a story in yourself
A weak, short story
And I can close the book
Why play with fire when your heart’s already burnt?
Why not just play in it?
Wild at heart or just in mind
Either way – you’re left behind.
Concussion, recurrence of a bad dream
Stitches – to tie up loose ends
Bruises – to add color to a grey day
And the loss of a very close friend.
Well my sorry little Wolfe,
Howl at the moon
I shall wear the wolves’ fur
My sorry little Wolfe
Howl once for me
The lament of the lonely
Author notes
Written October 2nd, 1991
What did you think
Comments
1 - 32 of 32
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Hello, you commented on one of my poems a while back and told me to check out this poem, so here i am..lol im sorry its a pretty late reply but yeah, i thank you for the comment. and im glad i came to read this. its really and excellent write, so full of passion.
im sorry i dont have time to write more right now but i shall check out some more of your work later.
thanks again and keep it up
xXx Sian xXx -
Ok so this is an ok write, with some nice images but there is nothing that stands out from other angst stlye poems.
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Commented on this before, over as month ago. Enjoy reading the comments since then. Some good notes on this poem.
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Wow! I loved the way it was written. It makes every line speak. Every line has it's own life. Well written.
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This was unique and kind of odd, and I enjoyed it for that, though I have to honestly say that I absolutely loathed the one-line form of this. It makes it so hard to read. However, this was good overall, and you used some good figurative elements. Nice job.
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Hello Scotlas,
i loved the metaphor you used in this piece. It worked very well with your meanings of the words.
My favorite metaphor: "Concussion, recurrence of a bad dream
Stitches – to tie up loose ends
Bruises – to add color to a grey day
And the loss of a very close friend." Just Fantastic!!
I am off to read up on some more of your creations.
Smiles
your way >>>>>Sandy 
San-d
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sry you did not follow the rules so you must go back and put in rule 4 and then resubmit
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Gambate'!!!
The voice of the poem, the "heroine" has mastered the situation, and turned what some might term "rejection," into a victory of her own.
I especially like the metaphor of the eagle catching the hapless mouse. -
Like the snake eating itself and the wolf freeing itself by chewing its leg off...only to find itself still in the trap because it chewed the leg off of the other wolf (who is now free...but limping with three legs). Somepeople never chew their own leg off and wear the trap, carrying it everywhere. But poets...we write it off (kinda like taxes?).
I sit before my trap, recording its nuances, creaks and groans. My pad is its thrown (throne). After writing, it is grown. My pen, its scepter.
Peace Through Love and a blessed son's picture.
ET Timothy -
venomous
Forgive this if it's mistaken, but it seems to me there is too much venom, anger and bitterness for you to really be over it. I hope you understand this is not being said to cause you hurt, but only to help you realize that the only way to truly be over an old love, is to care for him as a human being but no longer as a lover. HATING some one with this kind of passion is just a distraction from your true soul. If I'm wrong, as I said, forgive me, but I've been there and your words ring just a tad hollowly...if you know what I mean...But, nonetheless, great poem..good body and sweet, pure, yet evil fluidity! Would love to read some thing from you with the sun it perhaps...
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great peice.
Well, I guess you vented it all! However, wrath, it appears, has eaten up the victim. It is a great peice. has devoured the -
I knew of what you meant in this poem. I felt that venom once upon a time. It is truly sad that you can give your heart to a person that could care less about it. Just as you did, I got over them and began a new life that is so much better. I guess that one could call us survivors of a hateful venom. I love this poem very intelligently written and extremely expressive of just how much hate can come from such a beautiful emotion. Excellent job.
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A most wonderful write of spilling forth emotion! Very very well done! You just put it all "out there" and you did so with much class and elegance! I believe our friend above said it all, "you go, girl!"
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You go girl! Let me tell you something,,,this frustration and anger lives in me and I hide it away daily! Great venting here,,I adore it totally. You flowed your words and came in for the kill. It was awsome. (byw..I went to your home page to read, that saves you the costly points) secrets of the site!!
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This is great. Some people just do not know how to accept the unconditional love or maybe they are just unworthy. You have a
great write here so full of emotion. It draws the reader in and makes them listen. Nice Job.
Loretta -
If words could kill, he'd be dead by now. Such a spewing of hatred I have not seen ever - you have penned your emotions well and the feelings come across loud and clear. heaven help this guy!
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"Why play with fire when your heart’s already burnt?"
Very strong. Very powerful.
This poem is amazing. I absolutely loved reading this. It is so full of raw, heartfelt emotion. I love the form that you have written this in. It flows wonderfully. The choice of words are perfect.
Great write. And thank you so much for sharing. -
Actually, I HATE free vese with a passion, but just occasionally, I read one which has something to offer.
This is one, but only because of your venom.
Boy am I glad I'm not the boy who left or betrayed you.
My ex has your passion.
She can't wait for me to die so she can dance on my grave.
Isn't "love" a strange thing?
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Freedom flys high, and when one is released from bonds one soars. So as you have written here - no use feeling sorry for oneself. Way to go!
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Fantastic
Bravo!!! Spoken like an independent person who knows his/her own worth I like that much better than the usual - you left me, now I'm going to cry me a river and jump in and drown, then won't you be sorry? - uh...guess I'm getting on a rant here
Sorry Great write and great attitude!!! Keep it up
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This was amazing. Very raw and emotional. It is hard when a lover or though to be "lover" has torn away from you all that you knew of them. I th ink alot of people can relate becasue it happens to so many people in so many places. I am sorry that you have experienced this and I hope for better days to come for you. Till next we meet. Blessed be!
-Erica -
Thank you for enjoying my poem: "Amities" - I would appreciate your thoughts on some of my other poems. I look forward to reading your work.
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Without words.........sad, but beautiful. You did an amazing job on this. Scorned lovers and friends. This is perfect, I wouldn't change a thing. Bravo to you!
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Bravo!
I had a friend named White Wolf back in 2499. I never really knew why, but he always wore an all-white suit and tie and never got it dirty. He was bald...had a sheriff's moustage and wore pink-lensed John Lennon sunglasses. He was a great guy, saved my life quite a few times, and would have liked this piece. -
Hi, a broken love affair brings out such mixed feelings, first the hurt then the rage, both these feelings show in this poeem, perhaps if it had been codensed a bit it would have carried more impact, but that is just my pesonal oppinion for what it is worth, all the best, hugs Di
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wow! that is about it! this is amazing! the hurt and imagery! i havnt read much that hits home in the same way! this is raw powerful stuff and, quite frankly, its excellent!
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Brilliantly penned ---- fuled by raw emotion ----
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This is indeed very good. Though obviously borne of pain it contains so much strength taken from the hurts and the wrongs of a love gone bad. Love the imagery of the rat and the eagle LOL. Good luck in the contest. ~Jim
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brilliant
really powerful......your poems flow so well and are full of emotion...is it because you are a fellow scot....dougie..hope you get the chance to read mines.. -
This poem is absolutely amazing. It is so full of true emotion while also having a nice flow to it. Very unlike other writes that I have read. Very easy to relate to.
I truely enjoyed reading this. Thank you so very much for sharing. -
Thank you for your kind words. I hope you have enjoyed my other poetry and would look forward to further critiques from you. Thanks again.
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OMG!! This is a very raw and emotional poem - I LOVE IT, I can totally relate to what you're saying here. Keep up the excellent work
~dramaqueen469~
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