Do you get a rush when you inflict pain?
Do you get an adrenalin induced high when someone screams your name?
Would you stop? Will you stop?
Has your Wolfe enveloped your soul?
Left your heart a barren hole?
What is your purpose – to hurt? To mame?
Or just to hear someone scream in pain?
Is blood your cocaine – tears your speed
Or is your high self-induced?
Is this your high?
My friend you broke my heart.
You reached it, tore it, wounded it
And now you are no more than a name.
Was this your glorious aim?
Was this what the end was to be for you?
Or is this the aftermath beyond all that you knew?
And so we have reached the end.
You are a vaguely remembered face.
You are another time, another place.
My forgotten friend – never again – ever again!
Author notes
The inclusion of the words "Rat" and "Wolfe" are personal names the character behind this story went by.
Written October 24th, 1991
A contest entry
- Abuse poems by Angel of Mercy.
500 points, ended March 7, 2006, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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it's sad when you can't trust you're friends either. who can we trust in this world?
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Very well caputuring emotions that transpire after a breakup. Keep up the good work.
Rose -
it is hard to deal with betrayl and it is even harder to swallow. this was a excellent wirte. than k you for reading mine
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Dark & Chilling
Excellent description of a violent abusive person, and I like the fact that the storyteller has left for good. One question, is "mame" supposed to be "maim"?
A great read and more than a little scary
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Just what are the reasons for all this? Why did all these things take place? Nothing is answered - it is just over - kind of sad in a way.
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The thing that makes poetry so good is that it relates well to many things. When the reader can find some similarity to their lives, it brings more meaning to the piece. This is a sad write because it talks about someone that hurts others by their actions and that is sad. I hope you don't feel this way or that you don't hang around with the one that inflicts this pain you talk about. Thanks, The Shaker
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ok, un-limp comment coming up.
*mame should be maime.
*the phrase 'my friend' has been used so ambiguously so many times that it is almost inherently wrong! Your piece will be much stronger if you can get rid of that, and I would recommend trying to cut some of the personal pronouns. ('your' especially...it seems to make the poem wishy-washy. Which is not the intent, I understand
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*this line "Is blood your cocaine – tears your speed" is not fastidiously and gramatically correct. The proper thing to do would be "Is blood your cocaine? Are tears your speed?" because as it stands the 'is' is understood for both words, but isn't the proper one to use before 'tears' because tears are plural.
*refer to Avatar of Innocence's comment. I think in order to give your poem more punch and impact, you should remove the questioning aspect completely. I'd try to make everything a short, Spartan statement. It would communicate the strong emotion better, I feel.
A poem with great potential.
(there, was that so very terrible? I didn't even stomp! )
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nice poem.but is this real? for me its always not good to have an enemy....even if it is not my fault i always say soory first...:-)
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Oh this by far is my favourite thing of yours i have read so far. Awesomeness. And I totally understand where you're coming from, it's almost too close to home. Awesome write, sent shivers down my spine (in a non-sexual way).
Good stuff my friend, keep writing
Yvonne -
Holy, holy, holy..... holy hell. This is just frickin' incredible. You're an absolutely amazing poet!!!! I love this poem!!
~dramaqueen469~ -
C+
Well, I have to say that this was good. I liked it, though I was expecting something else because of the title. And I didn't quite like the beginning, but it turned out okay. The rage is evident, the hurt is evident. And I understand what you are talking about. And so, I have to say that this is an okay poem. Good write. -
Yep, some people; cool work.
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Message is loud and clear, but...something is missing. The tone of rage is evident, though where are the tints of red anger and black betrayal? A bit more background (and perhaps some imagery) would make this poem more powerful and impactful. If you need some clarification, please let me know.
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You are a vaguely remembered face.
You are another time, another place.
Great lines up there^ I can somewhat relate to this poem in an odd not really kind of way lol. Good write!
Safely hidden in the darkness,
~ The Rocker who lost all aka Sacred Shadows -
I loved this one.....
theres a connection with the poem I cant explain
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FRIGGIN AWSOME I LOVED IT!!!! if you can please read some of my stuff if you got the time. BUT GREAT JOB!
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