you are the smile on my face
you are the tear on my cheek
you are the joy in my life
you are the pain in my heart
you are the bounce in my step
you are the dragging of my feet
you are everthing i ever wanted
you are everything i never needed
you are the one that made my life complete
you are the one that created my empty void
you are the one that i miss
you are the one who doesnt miss me
you are the one that i love
you are the one that loves another
you are the one i want to spend my life with
yet i am the one one that walked away
Author notes
LOVE#3
Written December 17th, 2005
A contest entry
- Millions of choices!!!!!! by kdanielle.
300 points, ended February 4, 2006, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PREWRITE CONTEST>>>>BREAK_UPS by PersuingHappyness.
400 points, ended November 2, 2007, 37 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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JUDGED
This was an ok poem.... i don't know if I liked it or loved it... I didn't hate it though..... at first I thought it was too repetitous but in the last line I saw why you were doing that....
Some things that I did find.... ehhh whats the word... things that took it out of its rythm was the lines:
you are the one that i miss
you are the one who doesnt miss me
you are the one that i love
you are the one that loves another
I thought it was pretty strong until then... Thank you for entering and good luck.
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Thanks for entering. Good luck!
Edited on Jan 31, 12:28 because 'Misread'. -
hey no problem, anytime, well i love your work, awesomely awesome like i said the other time, haha well take care
-sweetness-
aka. lonely one -
AWWWW TY FOR THAT REALLY NICE COMMENT ON MY POEM
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WOW!!!! I LOVE THIS POEM!!!! its awesome, wow!!!! i love it, great work, hey imma get lesson from you. lol, well awesomely awesome work there bud.
-sweetness-
aka.lonely one
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