I'm the little girl with so much heartache,
who tries to hide her pain.
Nothing ever goes right,
and it's so hard to stay sane.
Her loves just too far away,
he can't hold her when she cries.
He's all she really has,
what keeps her alive.
All she wants is happiness,
for everything to be okay.
Losing herself once again,
her worse fear is to fade away.
Taking pills to numb the pain,
cutting herself to block out what's real.
She's so far gone,
it's the only way to deal.
Alcohol consumes her,
she passes out at least once a week.
Stumbling up the stairs,
trying to stay on her feet.
What's happening to Miss. Lovely?
The one to all adored?
She crashed and burned once again,
as she lays upon the floor.
Author notes
Yup, some of these pictures are old...(ewe)..But I don't have a web cam anymore, so yeah... these will have to do. I honestly don't know what's happening to me anymore. My ED is back again, and I gained some weight while it was gone
and I hate myself for it. I didn't cut, til last night, as I cried and cried. I can't sleep, I can't keep down food, I can't do anything. Ugh. And if you were to ask what's wrong, I don't even know... 
Written December 16th, 2005
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...Wow... are we the same person??? You pretty much described me in this poem. I think you and I should get together and go bowling! lol!
You are a beaut by the way! Very pretty girl!
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so so sad... but the will is there and loving life brings with it the will to live and feel emotions. sometimes we should just be - be ourselves - that way, we are content with us, and others. I have seen the rock bottom, struggled and now I dont look back to stagger and linger on the pain but to learn from it so that my future is better. sending you best wishes for a new year and for sunnier days to warm your heart. Thanks for sharing - Kris
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That's why I try my best to hold on, for him because I know he needs me... I'm all he's got, and he's all I have too...
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aww sweetheart
this is so sad. hang in there cos u have a wonderful life ahead of you and if u ever want a shoulder im here ok. xx
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Sis, you just have the holiday blues. I have them, Have for the past four thanksgivings, christmas, and three of every other holiday???... well, ever since my dad died and then my other angels, but sis, don't be like I was eight months ago and slowly kill yourself for it. Don't try to kill your pain with pain! I am trying so hard to not cut and drink and purge and starve because I know that it will not help me and it won't help you either sis, please... I don't want to bury you next year or any year for that matter! You are going to outlive me, I will not bury my little sister, my sister will bury me. Thats just the way it is and if I can help it, you and I will be stuck here in life for quite sometime. So stop crying and smile that beautiful smile that you once had and will forever have. Hang in there, you're not alone
Sara Dawn 
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Hey LaLa... I'm so sorry that things are anything less than perfect for you, because you don't deserve to be going through things like this. I wish that in one second I could just take your pain away and bare it al as my own, I gladly would
. Please don't feel like you're battling things on your own... I may not be there beside you, but you have my love and support, and you're always in my prayers! I wish I had one sentence that could change everything but, we both know I don't... and I'm sorry that I don't. I love you hun, and I mean that. I hope things begin to go better for you, just stay strong okay?
♥ Frances Lynn -
I don't like to give advice because few take it and it makes me sound like a know-it-all, which I definitely am not. But I will anyway -
Set some positive goals and become obsessed with them. The only way to keep the mind from feeding on itself is by keeping it occupied with more important and meaningful things.
You're a talented, beautiful woman, inside and out. Be gentle with yourself. Don't make your life harder than it has to be, okay?
Love ya,
Mark -
I love you huni You're so special to me. Glad you're cut free though, keep it up. What's going on?
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aww lala >
<
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hey hunny, sara and i are going through the same thing right now, but i am still cut free....for now, idk, i had to sleep so i wouldn't do anything stupid. I love you girl, keep your head up, everything will be okay.....
love always,
~Chris~
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I know people care about me... I just feel like I'm losing everyone, and I'm fighting this all by myself. Thank you for being so caring. I haven't written in a long while, and I've been away, for what seems like far too long.
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just remember that there are people who care about you and understand...it may seem like you're all alone now, but try to hang on. you have a great gift...and you are a great poet. if you ever need to talk, i'll always listen.
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