A British soldier wandering through the night
Guided by the glowing moonlight
His horse galloping, galloping,
Faster, faster…
He shall go into war where he shall stay
And the general’s orders he shall obey
With his tight black boots
And his hugging shiny black beret
Not knowing if he will die today
The sound of the horse’s hooves
on the cobblestone ground
Sounded like the soldier’s heartbeat
Only slowing down
With his musket at hand
A sword in his sheath
Ready for war…
He shall not keep
He misses his wife
His wife at home
But keeps on riding
As the off-white moon glows
The warm breeze trickled down his
bony spine
As the leaves from the trees danced
Him by…
The ocean beside him…
Crashing waves among the rocks
He came across inns
In which he could stay
But he had to go to war
He had to be on his way
Author notes
This is a poem I wrote... I was inspired by the Revolutionary War!! Hope you like it!! 
Written December 15th, 2005
What did you think
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
-
I was really inspired by this piece! There are so many great men and women risking their lives these days and I think its great that you write something like this almost like a tribute to them. Great job. I hope to read some more of your poetry sometime soon!
-
dedication is a great thing in men. There are those with a lot of it and they tend to do great things! Thanks for your comment on my work, The Shaker
-
Well, I think you done very well bringing this soldier back to life after all these years. I like the wording in all of it. I felt like I was right there waiting to see if he would ever make it back home to his wife. Great job!
-
This is a beautiful piece! Sorry it took me so long to read it after you read mine.... anyway, I love this poem. This is really sad, how there is so much beauty and peace you described, but none of this could be his.
-
this has a really good flow to it and great rythm
-
thats rally good i love historical works like this very descriptive its like im riding beside the soldier good job with imagery
-
thnx ssoo much for your comment... poet14
-
im very inspired with wars from history nad this poem brought a vivid picture to my head. also the background works very well with the poem.
-
this is awesome!! i love history so im kinda a nerd for these things but i liek this....great imagry...
Em -
wow i love it! it is smooth and the way you wrote a lot of it you can see him in the present moment but imagine clearly what will happen to him. like the breez trickling down his back seem to me like it would be blood eventually. Great writing and i like that he is not a modern solider, good setting.
-
Thanks ssssoo much for your comment... I really appreciate it!! poet14
-
this was actually a VERY good write!
the beat is off in a few places but it was full of a feeling that is hard to discribe. but all the same this was a very good write!
kudos. -
You gave me this comment a while ago but thanks anyway... i haven't checked my messages!!! poet14
-
loved it
mein gott!!!! you are so talented!!! -
Thank you... and you as well... poet14
-
Another impressive peice. You are talented!!!
-
thanks a lot twinklestart... i loved your suggestion and changed it... good idea... this is why you need a site like this... poet14...
-
This is a great piece. Very descriptive. It's really cool. One suggestion. Personally, this:
"But keeps on riding as the off-white
moon glows"
would sound better as:
"But keeps on riding
As the off-white moon glows"
To me, it just flows better. Other than that, great write. I can picture it in my head. And it's great to be inspired by history.
~Addie~ -
Thank you so much for your suggestion. I did change it.
-
You did a nice job with this, for the most part. The rhyming was good, and you told a story with it. If I may suggest something? In the lines:
“The lake beside him…
Crashing waves among the rocks”
You may want to change “lake” to maybe “ocean” due to the waves crashing. I think it would sound a little better in my opinion.
Other than that, this was a nicely written piece.
Keep penning and welcome to AP!
~ John
Adding your comment:
1 - 20 of 20
5 old applause
