Quietly waiting, but waiting for what
Someone or something, I think I forgot
It's strange to be me, yet not me at all
Staring at nothing, the window, the wall
Wanting to be what I just want to be
Clearing away all the cluttered debris
Thinking and dreaming, I wish I could sleep
Instead I climb hills, too tall and so steep
Two things my anchor, my hope and my worth
My destiny found, new life through new birth
The loving is there, it can't be undone
Even if finally I've found that someone
Darkness rolls in and the two look so sweet
An emptiness though, I feel incomplete
A dark cloud of doubt hangs over my head
Reminding of words that were left unsaid
Alone, so alone for week after week
Painfully brushing the tears from my cheek
Dreaming that one day my man will be here
His strong, gentle arms will end all my fear
Bleak sadness is mine, surrounded by hope
As love comes my way, I know I can cope
With all of the dreariness life dumps on me
That man is the shovel that helps me dig free
I love him, I love him, I love him today
There's no other words that I need to say
He's taken my heart, it's all I can give
And knowing he's out there makes me want to live
Author notes
Written through "her" voice and heart (I hope). A little different but not really. All thoughts, comments and critiques are welcome, as usual.
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I don't think there has been anyone in my entire life that has captured my thoughts and feelings so well. Just goes to show what a wonderful warm man Paul is. i love you Daddy, thank you forever.~Waiting
LMDP
Written December 15th, 2005
What did you think
Comments
1 - 27 of 27
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This is so heartfelt. I can feel the pulling at those strings that play the music of wanton desire. This is absolutely, somberly beautiful.
When I was a kid, (teen) I knew there was someone out there just for me. Little did I realize, it was my brother's best friend. LOL We've been married almsot 33 years. Yup! There is someone for everyone. Superb writ my friend. I am sure it was well received.
MAY THE NEW YEAR BRING MUCH LAUGHTER AND JOY TO YOU AND YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY. HAPPY 2006!
Much Love,
♥ renee ♥
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awwwwwww wow, this is amazing. I dont know Quietly Waiting as well as i'd like to, and I wish i knew you better as well, if you two wrote this together, you are amazing poets and both wonderful, heart warming people inside. l8az sky xxx
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this was such a wonderful poem grampa
well done
Di
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Spectacular
That poem is amazing, by far...it reached out and touched me like no other piece of writing ever has...That's all the praise I can put into words...it just...it's unbelievable. -
great job mister paul...lol..and i dont mind one little bit that you borrowed a line from me...i'm just amazed that you could use something of mine in something so awesome...and you kno i totally identify w/ this poem...i can see how some of these guys think its about God but you know to me its about someone else...i guess that our lives influence how we read things atleast to some extent...anyways..great as usual...
God Bless
~tyler -
love this poem....its amazing. You truly have talent.
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awwww... This is so sweet!!! You did a great job on this one Grampa!!! I really like it!!! It is very beautiufl!!!
Hugs,
Beth -
What a wonderful flowing piece, I knew you were a man, so at first it was puzzling but as i read i saw what you were intending with this write. So hard to see through the eyes and thoughts of the opposite sex but you did a good job of it. Great poem I enjoyed it so much Thank you
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Very Good
I agree with Autumn green eyes..I see that this poem is about God..the true love of our lives...of course, the beauty of the written word is that as long as there is no author-intrusion..we can see a piece exactly how we want...personally and individually..
Edited on Dec 23, 1:10 p.m. because ''. -
Hmmm... Quietly Waiting... I know this name from somewhere... and somewhere in that name is something haunting, like a shadow in the back of my mind, leaves rustling within my heart... a kind presence I have not felt since... hmmm...
anyway... the poem has a lot of thought to it... the climbing the hill too steep (at least hills don't get up and walk away!
) and HEY! So this is YOU, kirbysman, delving into someone's being... VERY good... I've done the exact same thing with an AP daughter of my own... well, all I can say in response to the poem is that, in a perfect world, there would only be one man and one woman... I think that is illustrated by the Garden of Eden story... so an applause for you empathy, MR. kirbysman... and may your friend be loved by all whom she loves...
Edited on Dec 15, 12:27 because ''. -
A good, write.....
I enjoyed the last part most, for it's clarity and flow....
your friend Angel
Edited on Dec 16, 1:27 because ''. -
You were writing about God, weren't you? This was so well done. I learn a lot from you everytime I read your poetry. The flow is almost always flawless..and the subject matter always something that we can all learn from. Thanks so much.
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This was a beautiful piece, glad you shared that with us. Very well done and worth reading again!
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a very pretty poem.
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This was a great poem and captured the female perspective well, seems you made your daughter really happy too... I read her critique. Beautiful poem, Kirbysman, keep dreaming in ink.
Jessica~ -
hey if this about you bf or husbend im sory and happy for you all at the same time i know whate its like to loing for sumone you love well that was a butfoul pice keep up the good wark ps sory about my bad spelling i cant help it
sam out -
This is beautiful. You start out strong & vibrant with your images and rhymes, and carry those things well throughout the piece, but the end kinda falls apart for me. I think it's because the beginning seems to be so self-supportive, and then you just crumble when thinking of what you do not yet have. It's a natural reaction, but does disappoint me. That being said, you quite obviously have a great deal of talent, and you express it well.
~ Sincerely, Janet ~ ~
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Hard to tell if this man is actually a person in your life, or if you are just wishing for a man to enter your life. Flows well, good rhyme and rhythm. Enjoyed the read.
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good
This was nice to read. It is somehow surprising to see a man writing out emotions from a female perspective. It is refreshing. I enjoyed reading this touching piece. -
mm yes a very sweet poem I really like the last stanza! great poem
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This is a little vague in parts but is wrapped up nicely at the end. If you don't already kow this guy I hope you find him. If you do know him, I hope things work out!
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Awwwwwwwwwww Paulie...DADDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!This is so wonderful, so perfect, and so me. You captured me beautifully just by our talks. you got to know me so well deep inside. Something only you and Rickie have ever been able to do. I don't think anyone other then you two, my daddy, and my man, have ever known me so well. Kind of sad I guess, seeings how all my life I was completly surrounded by people, who claimed love as in friendship and such , but I was always so alone. No one really knew me. But you and him, yall know my everything. you two are my everything after God. I love you so very much.And this just shows, i know you love me too, or you wouldnt know me.
Thank you so much, for this and the other two, that were also so beautiful and perfect. this is above perfection
i love you
always!!!!
your daughter
~ Waiting
~Janai lynn~
Edited on Dec 16, 1:32 because ''. -
What a wonderful idea, to write from the perspective of a woman. You had me fooled, I forgot who was writing this for a moment...The flow was beautiful and the rhyming was very well done. Bravo!
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Suggestive commentary. In stanzas two and three, might I suggest you try this:
Wanting to be what I just want to be
Clearing away all the cluttered debris
Thinking and dreaming, I wish I could sleep
Instead I climb hills too tall and so steep
[you really didn't need the comma since it's a single thought]
Two things: my anchor, my hope and my worth
My destiny found, new life through new birth-
The loving is there, it can't be undone
Even if finally I've found that someone
Feliz Navidad
Rae -
You did a wonderful job writing this based on the way a woman would feel. I think it is a very beautiful poem. Thank you for sharing.
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i really like the flow. its hopeful, but not whistful. the rhythm is simple and natural, not akward and forced. kudos on such an awesome write!
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awww thats really sweet... i can relate with goin thru life like on a merry go round... forever spinning... and confused... and weirdness...
this poem kept me goin around... its really well written and awesome!!!
^^
mushy
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