(i)
Above this covered place the north wind plays;
Her frigid breath bids fall its last goodbyes--
What comfort lingers here, retreats with days,
While pallid beams ascend on piercing eyes.
Her shadows stir fell warnings in the skies,
As winds rush eagerly to fill cold graves;
Long fingers grabbing leaves, as autumn dies,
To crush all hopes in grottos and dank caves.
Her tears are cruelty; Lashing fury raves,
As desp'rate wooded limbs catch shiv'ring colds,
To tear each sweat soaked frozen bough that braves
To bear her vengeful rue -- no reason holds.
Her wheeping howl of fury further sews
Her cries, but sudden mercy summons snows...
(ii)
As midnight flakes fall startled all around,
Could lolling dance bring hope for winds' sojourn?
The millions softly play embraced to ground,
Soft crystal shimmers sigh to woo the morn.
Wind's claw grows dull; her cool caress feels worn;
Her frozen breath, at dawn, belays to blow,
And drifts so soon afar that hearts might warm
These furrowed brows: woods carved in ice and snow.
No tracks may tread this place, no maps can show
Such buried treasures as her hands have found;
Where beauty also wends (high spirits know)
Soft tendrils breathe -- just barely scarce in sound --
And hold cruel Winter's blade from frozen air,
That beauty might reveal what beauty's there...
(iii)
Until these snow drenched groves step out from shade,
Where deeper cast they find descent to dread,
The earth, from red to white, whose winds have made
Like near a tomb, shall lie while warmth lies dead.
But sleeping blooms ere lost will find their bed,
Where hopes of yearned and yet yearned love still lay,
So rested love will stir to raise her head;
A once remembered warmth won't shy away.
The winds will never heal by Winter's sway,
They call the sun and beg for her bright hand,
If flowers may laugh loud while rivers play,
If life may yet make claim to lifeless land.
So longing light the world grows darker then --
But destined will release our Spring again...
Author notes
[3-Spenserian Sonnet Cycle]
Written December 15th, 2005
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 37 of 37
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Iguana: let me practice then.
so sorry, but I disagree with you.
my meter in this poem is A - OK.
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You Iambic pentameter really needs working on, but it works though out most of your poem. Your descriptions that you use are very vivid and I like your personification of winter. This was a lovely read well done.
Illiterate Iguana
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This is so beautiful. It was filled with such imagery and hope. I loved it. Awesome job and thank you for entering my contest. I wish you the best of luck!
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Lovely
How lovely. Your words and descriptive imagination inspired me to read it over twice. I love your visual style and your ability to mesmerize your readers. This is definately a favorite of mine. -
Hi David, beautiful poem, this is one sonnet form I have yet to try and yours certainly gave me the insperation to do so, great images, lovely write. all the best, Di
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You say you need to learn about writing of nature but I think we can all learn from you. You crawl inisde Winter and you are the snow and the trees, I see your breath frosting as you write with your fountain pen as this is ancient time. I see you as old man wondering if you'll see another spring...I'm getting carried away now, well this is what your words did to me, took me away!
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Wow, this is just stunning. I am at a loss for words. Beautifully done.
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Iambic pentameter is so difficult to do sometimes. I have such a hard time with and my stuff never seems to flow this well. This is an awesome poem.
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All these sonnets are good
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EXCELLENT WORK!!!!!
You always write beautifully and I have always enjoyed your work, this one I will say is one of my favorite one of yours... Great job, I loved it! As always, Angel
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Very nice, very lovley and smooth flowing. Great job
Love my darling and Merry Christmas
angie
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a "cycle of sonnets" is just a group of sonnets.. like a heard of sheep. It is also called a 'sonnet sequence'.
It does not imply a specific number of sonnets. Just a group of sonnets together forming a larger single poem.
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This is quite an undertaking and it has turned out beautifully. (I still see my metaphor.) Each sonnet is a gem within itself and together as a whole this is absolutely stunning. I've done a 'crown' of sonnets but not a cycle.
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"While pallid beams ascend on piercing eyes"
Spellbinding. i love it all but this line especially. its not often on this site or anywhere that i read something of this quality from this decade. i really like this and wish you all the luck possible for future writes. the imagery is great and its just a wonderful poem. keep writing.
heart of clay xxx -
Excellent
This a very beautiful vivid , piece of poetic art, and the sonnet had that magical pull, I always have a need to feel, wonderful reading! Bravo to you! from: Ennovy
Edited on Dec 16, 5:07 p.m. because 'spelling error'. -
Avatar: actually.. I wrote these poems before ever seeing that photo. I had an image in my mind. After writing the poems I went to google and found a picture to go with it.
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I love the ending. Please, I know you are describing the awesome beauty of your image, but you needn't directly refer to it. That was all I meant to say. Sorry to have you go out of your way, but the 'finished' product (sounds) looks ever better.
And in some way, nods to the core of the first sonnet without actually doing it. GLORIOUS! -
by the way I wanted to applaud but have none and no points either
I O U davidz
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WOW, David, I didnt mean to click on this while it was featured. To be honest I saw your name and it was just like a refelx8giggle* This was beautiful! So beautiful, im in awe and pretty much at a loss for words here. Somehow this reminded me of me in a way.
~Waiting
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I'm a bit confused with this, but I don't think it has anything to do with the way you wrote, my english just abandon me sometimes. I love the picture though
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Avatar : ok... I changed the final line of both sonnets now.
Please tell me how it feels.
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I changed the final line to from
" That beauty might reveal what beauty's there..."
to
" That mercy might reveal what beauty's there..."
I wonder if that is better?
(it seems more fitting in the cycle... but now I want to change the final line of the first sonnet to not use the word mercy.)
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Avatar of Innocence: you are right. The final line is a bit weak in the cycle. Originally the 2nd sonnet was a stand alone sonnet, and it was much stronger.
(in fact both these sonnets are much stronger when alone... but someone who enjoys 1 probably would enjoy the other..)
The last line said that the beautiful snowfall, revealed the beaty of the trees. (as trees covered in snow are beautified.)
But also that... beauty leads to more beauty.
In the 2 sonnet cycle version the last line seems to apply to the freezing rain storm as well, which the 1st sonnet described as terrible and vengful, but not beautiful.
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wow your poem is fantastic I l love it! great imagery'
nice tone and wonderful flow.
thanks for the read and keep penning -
MEGA-SUPER-APPLAUSE-WORTHY
First of all, WOW! Secondly, great selection with the Spenserian Sonnet, my personal favorite and one of the only Rhyming Forms I ever write. What makes your poem all the more impressive, is that you have not one, but two sonnets that are different, but extraordinarily complementary in their sync.
The image is not merely (nor light-heartedly) reflected, but transcended with your glorious personification and word choice.
Mind the reference, it isn't meant to be crude: your poem was like a sexual experience, omitting the erotic parts. Exciting, sensuous, touching all the right parts whilst heightening the experience ever more to a riveting climax and gentle, caressing conclusion.
However, one part of your poem made me um, well, cringe.
After all the genius effort your poem exhibited, I expected more (forgive me, but your poem is one of the highest caliber I can imagine) than your reference and implementation of the word "beauty" in the last line of your poem.
That's all!
Edited on Dec 16, 5:03 because 'eh, unfinished thought'. -
this is beautiful write nice tone and greaaaaaaat flow . beautiful imageery .. This is genuinely a very sweet and uplifting poem. We all live for perfect days like this Lovely structure and it sounds beautiful.
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I love winter! Your poem made me enjoy it even more! Great images! I wrote a poem called snowflake maybe you'll check it ot!
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dont get offended by me saying this but for reasons unknown youre --well your sonnets are very captivating and the way you lean towards being romantic enough to the point that the images slide into the readers mind without them knowing its there
Rae -
Kestryl: The constraints of form poetry can often force one to pursue associations between words which they might never notice themself with free verse. For instance.. the word "raves" which I only found because I needed a rhyming word, lead me to pursue the idea that winter is crazy and schizophrenic.
Which University do you attend? I graduated comp-sci about 8 years ago from YorkU.
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I love the picture; I see you mentioned Ontario in your reply to another poet's comment : I live in Ontario.
As for the poem, we just finished studying a batch of Spenserian sonnets in the MANY literature classes i'm taking in university (I'm a second-year English and Philosophy Major). Have to say though, I will NEVER try to write one
I dont have the restraint to deviate far form free verse. Wonderful poem; the imagery is beautiful.
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I loved this, I truly love your poetry it is so magical in its own way. I truly like the punch lines for both Sonnets, it makes a better understanding. Thank you for the wonderful gift of your pen my friend. And now I will say this... Encore!! Blessed be, Nena.
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crystal: thanks.. it was a typo.
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crystaldust 15-12-05 22:35
I like both of these. You've done Spencer's rhyme pattern proud and the minutiae of description are good. One thing, though: "desperate" has three syllables unless you put an apostrophe between the 'p' and the 'r'. Leave it as it is and you have 11 beats in that line. Sorry: but you did say Spencerean! Really excellent write. Bravo! Joy -
Thanks for your comments. Yes the photo is absolutely spectacular! And if by "take" you mean "used a camera" ... the answer is no. But I found it with google. But I have seen things like this in Algonquin Park in Ontario.
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Incidently, that's an awesome picture. Did you take that?
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good job, all in all
I came in off your author's page so I wouldn't steal any points. This is far better than some of your other sonnets. Perhaps you're growing as a writer. I don't always like animism in poetry, but in this case it works well. You're personified the winter and done it very well. Again, I see no voltas in either of these, so it's definitely not a usual sonnet, but the writing is credible and the personification works well. All in all, I can't fault this much, other than the voltas and we've discussed that before.
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good
It really does have an old poetic sound to it and quite descriptive.
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