Into the fire, I am cast
Eternity, it seems so small
Living under deaths hand, so fast
Following the evil demons call
I am running alone towards death
Staring into its hollow eyes
Could this be my dreaded last breath,
Fabricated by fate and lies?
Maybe death will not be that hard,
Life has not had mercy on me
It has left my soul completely scarred
To a dark and disgusting degree
Could I just simply fade away?
Do what feels horribly right?
Or should I suffer another day,
While keeping death just out of sight?
Author notes
A veiw on how pointless life seems to me right now
Written December 13th, 2005
In a list
A contest entry
- Depth, Feeling, Emotion, Rythm and Rhyme, you get the point. by A Silent Cry.
400 points, ended January 12, 2006, 19 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ~*~*~*Dark Rhyming Poetry*~*~*~(6 Options) by anguish.
400 points, ended May 18, 2007, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Release Inner Anguish (Dark poetry from Dark poets) by Girl With Guitar.
1300 points, ended August 9, 2007, 60 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Options Rhyme Only by poets whisper.
650 points, ended January 26, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - prewritten contest for all by serenity silvermoon.
490 points, ended January 30, 90 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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Amen to THAT! Very well written, I liked the rhyme and I'm entering this into the finalists. Good work here, the content is basically PutsABandAidOn right now
Bandaid. -
very good, good luck in the contest.
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Hey dude good poem ,,I like the line " do what feels horribly right" and it flows realy well too. the endings good , you start running to dath and looking at it in the eyes, then you are asking your self should you suffer other day to keep it out of your sight, not bad..i think alot of poeple ask them selves these things
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great write and thank you for entering and good luck in this contest and future ones to come and keep the ink flowing.
-Abbie- -
i really like this! sad true and so so life!
well done damn good write!
xxx -
good job on this. Very good poem.
not really the heart-breaking tragedy I was looking for, but still a very good poem. -
I like your poem, for it's not much different than how I feel now. My husbands buisiness has to close down, because his partner pulled out, and I feel I should have done more. Once again I failed.
Brandy3 -
Congratulations on your Golden trophy it was very much deserved, awesome write! Ken...IBT
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WoW!!!! this write is freaking amazing you did a great job on the imagry its like each word is painting another part of this ultimate picture its pretty amazing and the emotion that you put into this write is really awesome it really makes the reader connect with this peice on a whole new level my favorite part was:
"I am running alone towards death
Staring into its hollow eyes
Could this be my dreaded last breath,
Fabricated by fate and lies?"
Its just amazing well once agian you did an awesomely amazing job on this write keep up the good work!!!
vampiry julianna -
enjoyable
haha, sorry, I read the poem about 5 minutes ago, I've been spending these 5 minutes pondering over it, for in my current state of mind, it means so ever much.
But enough of my wasted mindless ponderings, allow that no longer hinder you. I enjoyed this poem, it cast me into a state of mind that I hardly ever enter. I thank you for featuring this poem, for I would probably never have seen it. I really like it, and keep writing poems. If I see your name in the featured list, I will be sure to try my best to come and read your poems.
keep writing, I love the poem.
~Ash~
P.S. sorry if the comment made no sence, I'm not exactly in a happy mode this evening. -
GREAT JOB!!!!!
A very good write and an enjoyable read that depicts the sadness that we sometimes go through in life, good work, love Angel
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This write was superb. It flows well. I love dark writes, how life has one good road to take and 40 or more bad roads that are laced with goodness. I say take the bad road because you will learn more from the experience. You have a very deep soul, thank you for sharing this morbidly dark piece.
~C.J.~ -
Hi, as you asked those who are in your comp to read a couple of your poems hear I am, I must say I was pleasantly surprised at the quality of your poetry. although sad this poem is good ,it has great feel and the desperation is portrayed very well, good flow, a good poem, you have talent, hugs Di
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I liked pretty much everything about this poem. There was so much emotion packed into it. It does remind me a little of the movie Constantine if you've ever seen it. There have been a few times in my life where I have questioned the same thing, though not so poetically. I've just learned that you have to take what life gives you and do what you can with it. Great poem and keep up the good work.
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very well done!!
Wow, that was dark, deep, but had some intresting light in it, the whole idea of death being better than having to live another day was a great idea, kept it unique and the imagery jumped out at me, great write!! -
For all of us at certain times in our lives we feel just the way you do now, you have penned this very well. Is it all worth it we ask ourselves, but the next day something happens and life goes on. Hope you find this in your life - that spark that makes it liveable and worthwhile. Good write. Sad subject.
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