I wish for you to no longer call me dead.
take my name out of the block orbituaries
it's hard enough to send an empty piece of paper to you.
you're a hard one to find.
but tonight
i ask you
Think of me softly
Tread lightly when I sleep
Flap away the dust from your winged ankles before you enter my window.
I cannot let Stardust sleep where I do.
My mother will know. In the morning darkness she comes with her sweepers and a knife. Many times she had
Chopped off my hair
where my dreams of you and secrets of you rest with my sighs.
My hair.
Then my tongue.
She already took six of my fingers to feed to the guests
(just last week.)
They were people I did not see. Did not meet.
(Two of them no longer have their appendices. One, missing a liver. One, missing a lover. Yes, the other three were vegetarian.)
I touched them. Without consent.
They need not know me.
Nor my dreams.
And not all dreams have to come true
Author notes
Written December 13th, 2005
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1 - 7 of 7
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Great Poem
very well written. I found myself hanging on every line. great stuff. -
this is really different.. but its a really amazing write.. im not sure what i expected but this wasn't it..
this is truly an amazing piece and i can not critise it at all.. i felt like i was being talked to.. i imagined that little girl from the grudge..
=) ~toni~ -
Woah! This is a crazy piece! But I'm loving it!
It's very very creative! I've seen lots of people write about having writers block and trying to call on their muse and all that... but never quite this way! This is so cool! I like how it has some creepiness to it with the mother cutting things off of you and the house guests and all that! Were you watching a horror movie or something? That's just wild. You have a lot of creativity up in here. So I'm thinking you may have pulled the wool over our eyes and aren't really having writers block at all! You did great work. Thanks for featuring this so that we all had a chance to share your words with you.
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OMG! This is so dark. U've put in great efforts. I liked the theme. keep up the good work.
-Neha -
Hi, it's a long time since our roads crossed my friend, a very dark poem that can be interpreted in several way, told almost as a myth yet it makes me think of modern day life, of idle chatter that causes harm, of feeling one is lost in a maze of intrigues, I liked it but found it very disturbing, a good write, you have my applause, all the best, hugs Di
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Too dark for me, so I preffered the sombre lines which said,
My hair.
Then my tongue.
She already took six of my fingers to feed to the guests
(just last week.)
I thought these were the darkest of all. -
Excellent
it's absolutely original. i like the voice crawling in between the lines of this piece...it makes you shiver...then it makes you think...then it makes you feel afraid of every word and every dream that has NOT come true...
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