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I Think I'll Call Them...Snowflakes


Innocently walking
behind a school yard fence
I spot two happy children
decked for winter's best

I imagine for a moment
this being their Christmas first
what was said to one another
As the sky began to burst

"Good morning my dear Charles
What a fine and glorious day!"
"Glorious! it's freezing
What happened to March and May?"

"Cheer up dear old man,
This weather appears so new!"
"Mum made me wear two scarves,
I think I'm turning blue"
"How now Charles, look
Something's floating in the sky!"
"Could it be Santa, Peter dear?
I heard he'll soon be passing by"

"No, something a little lighter
like soft and fluffy buttons"
"Ouch  Mum!  Have a care!
watch who's scarf you're tuggin!'

"or something sweet like gum drops
that hang upon our tree...
but, there's no taste to speak of
Pete, what could they be?

I think I'll call them snowflakes,
although I don't know why...
all I know is that they're cold
and they fall right from the sky"

"Ow!  Whatever these things may be
It landed on my face!"
"Ow, like in snow!
But how did I think of flake?"

"Charles, it's quite annoying
They're sticking to my gloves
They do shake off quite easily
but there's more where they came from

"A smaller piece a drift
of a huge enourmous thing  
A thin and flaky bit
That the fluffy heavens bring!

"Charles, what on earth
are you up to now?"
You're apt to ruin you best coat
rolling on the ground"

"I'm telling it 'hello!'
With both my arms and legs
it's far too big I'm very sure
to see a child's wave"

So, Innocently walking
behind a school yard gate
I recognized the vast importance
of a snow angel making date

For who else but the children
will welcome the Christmas snow?
Long brown winters will we face
if we let their fancies go.

Author notes

I tried my best to experiment with ryme in this poem, so if it falters or, any one line sticks out something ugly please feel free to let me know.  Thanks!
Written December 13th, 2005

A contest entry

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Comments


  • I-Like-Rhymes silver member
    December 20, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    A nice poem from two 5 year old 'old-men'
    You have managed the medium quite well (including the rhymes)
    Personally I would alter
    "Ouch Mum! Have a care! -to- "Ouch Charles! Have a care!
    Keep it to just between the two of them.
    and perhaps alter
    I'm telling it 'hello!'
    With both my arms and legs
    it's far too big I'm very sure
    to see a child's wave"

    I think I would prefer

    I'm telling it 'hello!'
    In my my arms and legs embrace
    It's got no eyes I'm very sure
    to see a small child's face"

    Good Luck
    Jim S


  • Haunted-Memory silver member
    December 17, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    This was a beautiful poem, i really enjoyed this and am glad i joined in this contest to have found it all the best good luck yourself in the contest ~Brian~


  • CountryCousin
    December 14, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    Written very well.

    You know I could feel the child Charles as if he were indeed blind testing out the snowflakes. This had very good imagery indeed.


  • BluRosePoet8488
    December 13, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    AWESOME WRITE

    Everything was just beautiful! I find no falter within. What I found was an awesome poem! Magnificent! Christmas looks like snowflakes falling all around. I love this. Wonderful imagery. Thank you for sharing this and good luck in the contest. Love and hugs...
    ~Donna~