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Heartbreak Carol

HEARTBREAK CAROL

Where is the wonder I knew as a child
(Candlelight, candlelight),
Fir tree a-glitter and presents piled
In Christmas candlelight?
Gone is the gingerbread, gone the gleam,
Santa and reindeer a long-vanished dream...
Now in life's darkness, I seek one beam
Of Christmas candlelight.

Where is the manger we loved in youth
(Candlelight, candlelight),
Shepherds and kings who proclaim God's truth
In Christmas candlelight?
Neon and tinsel have dimmed the Star,
Angels are drowned by disco guitars,
And Bethlehem seems two thousand years far
In Christmas candlelight.

Where is the innocence of first love
(Candlelight, candlelight)
Kisses with mistletoe high above
In Christmas candlelight?
Now vows are broken, and sin is smart,
What God hath joined - man soon puts apart!...
Yet still Christ is born to heal wounded hearts
In Christmas candlelight.


Author notes

I think this should belong in your category 2: What Christmas should be...

I am sorry that I cannot send you the musical setting now - but if you want it I can find a way to get it to you...

A contest entry

PLEASWE DO NOT FEEL OBLIGED TO COMMENT ON THIS POEM - OR IF YOU REALLY FEEL YOU MUST, PLEASE UNDERSTAND THAT IT MAY BE SOME CONSIDERABLE TIME BEFORE i ACKNOWLEDGE IT.

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Comments

1 - 29 of 29

  • Not-The-Sun
    2 days ago
    ?
    Edit | Reply
    Neon and tinsel have dimmed the Star,
    Angels are drowned by disco guitars,
    And Bethlehem seems two thousand years far
    In Christmas candlelight.



    I really took to these lines; the imagery is fantastic and you are definitely getting your point across about how times have changed in relation to christmas. I really enjoyed the last stanza, too.


  • masterblaster gold member
    November 1
    Edit | Reply
    Hi Vera, so true, so true, a great poem, all the best in the contest, Di

  • Judith Chandler
    October 24

    Edit | Reply
    Congrats on your trophies, well earned. It's a moving, beautiful write. I was struck by the repetition of candlelight, most effective.

  • ecrivain01
    October 23
    Edit | Reply

    This is rather unique ...

    and in actuality a fairly good poem. The line towards the end of the poem, ending in "man soon puts apart!... " bothered me a bit. The ellipsis seems totally out of place there.

    Other than that, however, this is a good job. I'm impressed with it.

    Thanks for entering.

    • Vera Rich gold member
      October 23
      Edit | Reply
      I use the pluridots to indicate a pause - as is customary in the works of many poets. I know of no other way of indicating a pause in written text; in the musical score, there is a pause sign.

      In live performance, I have found that a break in the voice, a near sob, works well at this point.

      • ecrivain01
        October 23
        Edit | Reply

        Different strokes ...

        for different folks.

        I hope your health is much improved since last we spoke?


  • redhanded
    December 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    very nice write you have here full of emotion of the xmas holiday. thanks so much for ur entry and best of luck to you in this contest and in the future
    andi
    (redhanded)


  • storiesuntold gold member
    December 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Excellent write here

    Oh your words so true they are and how so many today has lost love and its very meaning and in doing so families drift apart children become lost and afraid and often abused .The very meaning of Christ birthday exchanged for santa clause so sad it is


  • Freed by Mercy silver member
    December 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful lyrics, poignant with truth.


  • Little Eagle Greeters member
    December 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Thanks for your entry

    Yes it seems that the Christmas' of our childhood are fast fading. The joy that was there is hard to find now a days. Still though, if you search the eyes of a child you can still find that joy and innocence of christmas past.

    God Bless and Merry Christmas
    Tammy


  • RuthKephart
    December 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    How simply beautiful this piece is!! Simply in awe here. I'd love to hear it to music someday
    Ruth


  • bedovich
    December 8, 2007

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    i won't forget these lines no matte what:s i donno why man are like this.God sacrificed His son for them now look what do they do lovely sweet poem i liked it loadsss
    Now vows are broken, and sin is smart,
    What God hath joined - man soon puts apart!...
    Yet still Christ is born to heal wounded hearts
    In Christmas candlelight.


  • SatanicTemptation09
    December 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    very well written. i was looking for something like this. i loved the way you questioned than told. the candle light repition was very well ut to use. i comend you for this wonderful piece.
    i especially loved your last two lines:
    Yet still Christ is born to heal wounded hearts
    In Christmas candlelight.

    Thank you for entering


  • micol
    December 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Excellent...whether as song lyric or poem or simply meditation. Touches many of the feelings I am experiencing this year. Many thanks for writing it.


  • Sue Cardwell gold member
    December 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    A very good poem, it's nice to see so many poets rhyme.
    Thank you for your entry, please join us in one of the other contests, if not all. Thanks again..Sue


  • Frozentearz
    November 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Finding the true meaning of Christmas within a world
    that has seem to have gone so mad is truly hard to do,
    I like how you took us through some of that and how clear the imagery was, But what I liked most is how it came together in the end."Yet still Christ is born to heal wounded hearts
    In Christmas candlelight." A reminder that yes he will find away to be with us and the true meaning of this day his Birthday.
    Blessings to you and yours this Holiday season,
    Frozentearz


  • Frogzter gold member
    November 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Pain and heartache is such a part of life that no one is exempt but I do love how you ended this on a positive note that Jesus is still in the business of mending broken hearts and pain. Good to see you rakced up some trophies for this. Thanks for sharing and best wishes,

    Frogz~

  • ecrivain01
    November 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Yes ...

    life does have a tendency to seem more grim around the holidays. I suppose that's partially because we would like it to be more perfect at holiday times, but in actuality we notice the problems more. Also, so many people have grim stories of their own which become tragedies at such times, particularly those who are alone and friendless, or homeless.


  • daviscth silver member
    November 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is a wonderful piece. I enjoyed reading every word!! Thanks for posting in my contest and good luck at judging. Cathy


  • Tarja
    November 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Congrats on the gold, bronze, and honorable mention trophies. This was a fantastic piece! It was a little sad but no worries, well written still! Thank you for entering and good luck.


  • earthstar
    August 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    What God hath joined - man soon puts apart!...
    Yet still Christ is born to heal wounded hearts
    In Christmas candlelight.
    I like the ending this is true. Man seem to want to pull people apart,God does heal wounded hearts. Very good. I wish you the very best. Thank you for entering my contest.

  • JosieCheese
    December 11, 2006

    Edit | Reply
    oh man, amazing, just amazing! I really enjoyed this, you painted a beautiful picture in my head with the way you painted the words into perfection, the line drowned by disco guitars was really catching, reminding us of the season for the season, which was wondeful, this piece was filled with so much hope and that was wonderful to see, thanks for this beautiful write! You put music to this? That would be amazing to hear

    • Vera Rich gold member
      December 16, 2006
      Edit | Reply
      As with most of my songs, the music came first… and then I spent many days trying to “find” the exact words, which were doubtless already on file in some Platonic heaven, since it seemed that I was “remembering” rather than creating them.

  • kiddwolf
    October 31, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This is a good poam, it gave me a sense of being down to earth. And the memories are never lost.
    Edited on Oct 31, 6:45 p.m. because ''.

  • NeferMaatNetjer silver member
    October 30, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I look forward to hearing how you sing it, and i hope i'm good enough to do it justice (keep in mind I have only been playing guitar about 3 years, so it might be too hard for me just yet).

  • Vera Rich gold member
    October 28, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    PLEASE do NOT write your own music to it. If you wish to sing it at your event, please let me have your personal e-address or hard-copy mailing address or fax number I can send you the melody.

  • NeferMaatNetjer silver member
    October 27, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Wow! this is deep. i don't know whether to write music for it or meditate upon it. definately a contender. thanks


  • Shakes-spear
    January 27, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This is very nice and I bet the music adds much to it! The things you speak of are true. Christmas has become so commercialized and each year it gets worse. I miss the family gatherings we had when I was young. Most did not have to work and they all would be there. Decorating the tree was with things we made and not always with the newest lights and bought things. Times change, but not always for the best. The memories this brought back were nice. Thanks, The Shaker (thanks for your visit to my work. I took your advice, thank you!)


  • Montana4Christ silver member
    December 14, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Lyrics are fine for entry. I must say, you have a way with visualisation and expression. Don't worry, this is perfectly acceptable.

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