They search the trails of fire
Two fools without a plan
And hope to quench desire
But know they never can
For deep do run the rivers
Of blood that they have shed
Two takers and two givers
Hear the same voice in their head
For they are only dreamers
Feathers blowing with the wind
Two silly someday schemers
Well aware that they have sinned
But can't ignore the calling
Of the sound of loneliness
And they cannot help their falling
Into arms they can't possess
Perhaps beyond tomorrow
Their wishes will be met
And no more nights of sorrow
Will they have to forget
But that could take forever
And all they have is now...
So say hello to never
And a dream fate won't allow
Rakerman
Author notes
option 7
A contest entry
- I shouldn't love you; But I want to. by splinteroflight..
550 points, ended November 14, 2008, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Wow the emotion that is pouring from this poem is simply amazing. Wonderful job on it.


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First stanza reminded me of Macbeth and his lady's story
I like this -
Extremely powerful!
this is just incredible!
You present some very powerful metaphors in this piece&it all ties in so well together!
I love "Silly someday schemers", the alliteration really adds emphasis the piece needs!
The ending is so powerful, "A dream fate won't allow" - it adds the urgent desperation which makes the whole piece that extra little bit special
Good luck
<3<3<3 -
Whoaaa, this is such a captivating and hearfelt piece. When reading this I got goosebumps. Seriously. This is such an amazing piece. Full of so much emotion and shame and just everything. Thank you so much for entering & best of luck to you ! ♥


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yhis was really nicely written flow wise, and it had a very melancholy mood to it, that would make lifetme proud. good job thanks for entering.
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HOW DID I MISS THIS??? IT TUGS AT MY HEART..I'M SO ...
ENVIOUS OF YOUR TALENT.

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I see I missed this one. Now it is my turn to say this one hit me like a brick and I ain't telling ya why either
I will say this, loneliness is one of the saddest, most heartwrenching states for a soul to be in, especially for those who possess the kind of soul that craves love. Again, an awesome write. This one punched me in the gut.
~Lyrical
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Well done my friend. The way you have worded this is amazing..about an affair that will never be anything real...Excellent write!
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I really like this, a lot of people try this subject and very few hit it like you have. I almost feel like crying...thank you.
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Yay! its up
hehe
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Wow- this is awsome man- I love it keep it up!
~Tom
1 - 11 of 11





