A Step in Her Glass Slipper

 

My fingers crawl across her pages
feel her heartbeat rise like braille...
I shut my eyes to stop the noise
her voices issuing from the void...

 

Clear they ring, hollow, loud
no sanctuary from her pain;
in pandemonium of chaotic clouds
my thoughts are strewn and rearranged...

 

Part I: Sadness and Depression

     All of what I was is fading
     nothing of what I’ve been shall last
     Everything that I lived for, gone
     All happiness is in the past.
                             -Sacred Spirit 2004 AD

A sacred spirit I found wandering here
upon the winds of solitude, spiritless
she gave her love, it was not returned,
it haunts the dim halls of loneliness.

She, like a glass lake, serene, moonlit
that no one visits, forgotten now,
peace and calm are what she offered
stillness reflecting mountain walls.

Her life was taken, raped, shattered
desiring an end to the constant pain
finding no one to embrace her life, scattered
I try to piece her back together again.

Her love began young, true, and pure
but the double-edged sword sheared away her breath
If she can find just one who cares
she may yet survive her surrounding culture of death.

A soul of fire, a mood of ice
a deadly mix with secrets deep
devastation to those who think her nice
her beguiling smile hides what she needs.

I try to silence her unhappy thoughts
I succeed more with each passing day
and in one stroke she retreats again

to her frigid darkness and freezing rain...

     I'm fighting back tears
     as I'm typing these words
     To you they'll mean nothing
     to me they're my world...
                             -Sacred Spirit, 2004

She finds quiet refuge in a nearby drift
of snowy, frozing nothingness,
the perfect place, she sullenly thinks,
the wind turns, the ice freezing thick.

Across her mind blows the relentless gale
of pain, hurt, tragic thoughts
her life is over before it began,
what she had, what is now lost.

She came to know the heart of him
ripped away by her time to leave
their hands let go, their last kiss faded
an instant memory as she turned away.

Through a window staring, tears run fast
then anger rushes through troubled veins,
happiness vanished in the past,
she longs for light to ease the pain.

An intense piece of beauty, formed with love
now filled with tragedy, strength, yet frail
happiness and sorrow in a chalice
she lights a torch to guide the way.

Upon opening her hopeful eyes
love vanishes beyond her aching reach
leaving her to redream dreams
and salvage shreads of innocence.

Discovering love, then torn away
all too soon a living pain.
postponing emotions, and when they hit
they hurl her into a sinking pit.

Fragile within a picture of strength

that gives help to those who lose their way,
yet dancing to whatever the orchestra plays
in glass slippers, treacherously...

Ripped from a home, deep her lament
living with someone she hasn’t met
slowly losing grip on her former self
her new life caught in a revolving hell.

     They act like they care
     but I know that they don't
     They say that they'll help
     but I know that they won't...
                            -Sacred Spirit, 2004





Reaching back to ghostly friends
apologizing for events
life changes rip her heart in two
in dark corners of perpetual gloom.

 

An empty room, an expressionless face
a wilted rose in a dreary vase
cigarette smoke in the putrid air
she’s given up, she's unaware.
 

Beneath the hurt, a burning mind
an icy draft, a tragic fate,
growing foreign to love and kindness,
is it too late? Au Revoir, Mon Petit!
 




Her destiny rings, she laughs to herself
as she places her loveless heart on a shelf,
people stare for a moment, then disappear
leaving her with a helpless despair.





Writing love poems to those she does not desire
with a hello, maybe a kiss, the love does not stay,
departing with a worn, hollow smile
a waterfall crashing in shades of gray.

Part II: The Madness and Despair

Into her madness I journey here
touch the surface of a screaming whisper
and, though on the verge of being shattered,
I take a step in her glass slipper…

Slipping into darkness, crying random names
hands seeking, trembling, finding not what they seek-

the answer to all heartache and pain-
feeling it once more, driven totally insane.

Lost in darkness, a crimson eye

splintering fantasies, a death traumatized 
caught clinging to fragments of a life gone awry
suffocating with lonely eyes.

A silver savior gleams at her side
ever teasing her maddened mind
beckoning her to find her life-giving veins
a silver shimmer for the next sad day...

I send a bit of love her way
it’s not enough, it fades from sight
I send some more to feed the fire
that warms her cold and empty nights.

She manages some mirthful madness there
masking a complete and silent despair
the light of life shines elsewhere
as fountains of red in her stories appear.

Lost in crowds, a kiss, a sigh
upon a paling face, she dies
every breath, a final fight
growing weaker in the night.

She walks along like death in life
emotions gone, feelings fade,
‘Just put me in my casket now,
and get it done,” I hear her say.

The horror of sex without true love
without commitment, violated
the feeling of death that follows, returns
to torment her fragile mind again.

If it weren’t for others suffering the same
she would have faded long ago,
she could give affection, yet on cold shoulders spurned
by those she loved, the love unreturned.

Loves in her life lost, too, too many
leaving trails of sin and madness
all mixed up inside a beauty
masking an underlying grace worn with sadness.

“I can end it all”, she thinks today,
the pain, the worry, the monotony of life,
to erase a past where she went astray,
“It’s at an end, there goes my life.”

The night sky falls, she feels the rain
the blade is gleaming, she’s gone insane,
so swift and deep the final deed
an unloved girl, none see her bleed.

Not just wrists, but also ice
she now desires, falling through
no terror there, she thinks it nice
the pain should leave when she's frozen blue.

These thoughts of ice, the breath of death
dance together in quiet retreat
the finality of such a frozen slumber
beguiles her imagination sweet.

Playing with knives distracts her mind
not thinking about the scars this time
only about killing the streaming tears
and ending the anger and untamed fears.

Cutting, cutting to kill the pain
to end life, not to suffer again
rocking in a cloak of madness
where life flows in streams of sadness.

A road there is, a promising path
a voice inside bids her take
before there is no turning back

from the red-pooled glistening lake.

Peering into her future distant
she sees darkness between the trees
in despair she deems to end it
and free her spirit upon the breeze.

She’s lived before in an ancient time
with the same despair, the same life spent
a cuneiform tablet is unearthed

there found an echo of past laments.

Noises, noises fill her head
returning memories, future dread
too much to handle, too many speak

insanity lays with her in bed.

Changing, changing, ever changing
her old self dimming, fading away
changing many nights and days
her old selves clawing from their graves.

The institution has white walls
yet no sun in darkened halls
scars on wrist soon fade away
but a mental voice returns to say:

“Leave this life, it's time to die,
feel the darkness closing in,
another day you must not see,
close your eyes, just give in.”

Her features pale, her breath comes cold

envisioning blood in crimson grace
convulsions creeping down her nerves
a horror in her mother’s face.

Happiness a distant memory
knowing the mind of a cutter now

anger, pain, the barriers built
shutters closed, all blocked out.

Betrayal, lies race through her mind
a certain feeling- he had to die!
It is her turn, a mad tear streams
she clutches a knife for the end it will bring.

 

Pills, blades, whiskey, wine
phantom emotions lost in time
pretending to care, finding no feeling
too weak to dance, a shadowed mime.

Dressed in black, in circling shadows
then the crowd dissipates
into fires of hell, hope for light
as once again she awakes.

Loneliness and deep despair
people needed are not there
restless slumbers come to play
when darkest dreams won’t go away.





Slipping into dementia
midnight shadows of the past
at night the presence descends upon her
and ravages her body fast.






 

 

 

A taste of madness we’ve sampled here,
sliced reflections, shard-tipped whispers
on the verge of being shattered,
with one small step in her glass slipper...

Part III: Darkness and Revenge

     ”Take my blood and make it cold
     Make me lovely, never old
     I feel your fangs upon my skin
     Kill me now, I’ll live again.”
                                  -Sacred Spirit AD 2004

The crush of bones, the pain of flesh
a new-found invincibility
transforming the deepness of the night
from worldly beauty to a frightening being.

A shade, she dig her shadowed nails
into his burning, guilty flesh
and laps his blood with a demonic smile
that shimmers as he's laid to rest.

A hideous creature, once young and sweet
festered death of a broken brain
long forgotten, never completed
passion lost in eternal pain.

Love and blood intermingle slow

with a tragic twist of unkind fate-
a witch’s blood, she knew the taste
her best friend's, gone, it’s now too late.

about 42% finished... must finish 'darkness', then 'erotica', then 'love'... then... whatever life holds...