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The magical land

 

The magical land…filled with joy
No one to fight with…there no one dies

 

No cries heard; no sorrow, no pain
Filled with colors, simple and plain

 

With meadows green
Oh what a wonderful scene!
Where everyone’s clean

Clean at heart; clean inside out
With birds chirping, laughter and cheerful shouts!

Oh lord, take me to that place
Away from this world of disgrace!

Author notes


Written December 10th, 2005

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    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • The Journey Begins
    December 20, 2006

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    to me, this piece leaves me half empty...i think you could put more emotion into it, instead you seem to be half asleep...otherwise, i think it's greatly written


    • CharooSoodWadhawan
      December 21, 2006
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      Thanx

      I wanted it to sound a little dream like. I wanted to make it consice and to the point. By adding more emotion i might risk just beating around the bush. Do appreciate your reply and critique.


  • individuality gold member
    December 20, 2006

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    a nice cheerful piece of poetry here nice to see a happy poem in the midst of all the gloom. spill ink and twist me into the crazy shape of love...


    • CharooSoodWadhawan
      December 20, 2006
      Edit | Reply

      thanks

      Hi there...thanks so much for the lovely comment. Motivates me to write more.


  • ScarletO gold member
    February 5, 2006
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    What a beautiful place you have envisioned, "Heaven". I like your descriptions and admire your descriptions of this place.


  • CharooSoodWadhawan
    January 4, 2006
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    Thanks once again sweets!

  • Amrita
    January 3, 2006
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    good...good...good!!!!!!!!!
    this one is really good (quite contrast to my poem yet it speaks about a good world {much needed})..


  • December 21, 2005
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    In tone, I too would agree with eternal poet. The peace and magic can be found here, sometimes just a bit more difficult that the harsher parts as described in your poem. Welcome to the site and thanks for sharing, thanks for stopping by to read one of mine.

  • CharooSoodWadhawan
    December 15, 2005
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    Thanks Vic for the lovely comments, yet again. Just went through one of your poems...and may i add, u write pretty well yourself.


  • eternalpoet
    December 12, 2005
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    3 Stars ***

    on the other hand what if i say you are already living in such a world... just all we need is that sight to see the world as beautiful as we can imagine..

    again.. coming to the poem, its short, says alot... about what you long for, and a little about what world you are into... a very nice write..

    take cares and have a nice time my dear friend... just keep it up ... your humble little friend..... just keep it up ...... your humble little friend.... ..... ....... ..... - vic ( who else? )

1 - 10 of 10