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Lost

 

You ask me a question,


And I try to answer.


My mouth opens but nothing is heard,


For I have lost my voice as well as my love.

Author notes

UNDER CONSTRUCTION
I have no idea what I was thinking when I wrote this.
I guess I wasn't.
Hopefully I'll get around to revising it, but there isn't much to work with.


Written December 10th, 2005

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Comments

1 - 24 of 24

  • Rick Weston silver member
    July 24
    Edit | Reply

    BREATHLESS!!

    well done, capturing so much emotion (such as most can share) with but a few lines.

    • This thing is so old! I think it's horrible! I totally forgot about it! If you do go through my work the older it is the more horrible it is! There are a few exceptions.

  • I really like that poem.

  • Damselflydreams
    July 14, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I hope your voice has returned, and this poem seems evidence of it, good grasp of strong emotion and loss, clear and concise, good write. Thanks for reading and commenting on my work. Blessings....


  • grannyeri gold member
    January 31, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Only four lines, that say so much and are so deep in meaning. Sounds as if this lost love has taken everything from you , including your speech. Sad state of affairs you are in. Like this background.


  • manoguru
    January 11, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    well, i am suprised to find a poem like this, since it is so brief and to the point. this can be a merit of the poem but i think it is too brief to elicit any desired response from the readers.... perhaps a little lengthening with a few metaphors and images will help.. but this is just my opinion which you may take or leave at your will....


  • Brigitte11
    January 11, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    lovely. to me, it's hesitant and succinct. Really, quite lovely!


  • MyShatteringHeart
    December 27, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Awwww that is a sad thought... I know what love loss feels like I used to not believe in love... I used to hate anything that represented love... Even like flowers and stuff... Well, love of family I had I guess but not 'boy girl' love as my mum puts it. Anyway well done really nice. Short but sweet... or not so sweet lol. All the best,
    x Stef x


  • shamrocked
    December 21, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    hey, i love 'em when they're short and sweet. its so fantastic to be minimalistic, because it leaves more open for the reader to dig through. by saying so little, you're leaving room for so much. and you put so much meaning into such a short space - all around props to you my friend, props indeed. rock on.


  • nichtmich silver member
    December 19, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    Short and Beautiful

    Succint and to the point. But very well written. Descriptive of a person numbed and dazed from a staggering loss. Thank you for sharing


  • LovesWithTheBreeze
    December 16, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Its so funny how so many people can take such a short poem in so many ways. I loved it! Short and sweet and I also feel like this is me. Im just going through a stage of not wanting to love the one I love and Im kinda at a loss for words when I try to talk. Anyways, great write

  • noneedforausername
    December 14, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    creativity galore

    This one made me think - short but long enough... well thought out! greetz, melo.

  • Dreamer With Dreams silver member
    December 13, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    This person cannot speak because his/her love is gone therefore there is no point in speaking to anyone who asks anything.


  • Yunalonei
    December 13, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    This is nice, a bit unclear i think, i'm not clear on what it is supposed to be saying.
    Who is asking you a question?
    Why can't you talk?
    How did you lose your love?
    Anyway
    XXX


  • Sara Bellem
    December 13, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    Bookmarking This

    OMG! This is me right now. I have tried to open up to the person I love but person to person, I just can't! Instead I wrote him a letter and he hasn't called me in two days ... but we work together and I will be working with him the last hour of his shift, perhaps he will give me a letter or tell me how he felt about the letter (pray for me) ... but anyways, I know how this feels Honey and I know that no matter what, I have lost my heart to someone who won't accept my love ... this is tragically beautiful and I am bookmarking this because I can relate to it so well. I hope things get better for you Hun Sara Dawn


  • natari
    December 12, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Very powerful and I loved the simplicity.It evokes so much emotion

  • nothing-important
    December 12, 2005
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    this was really short and sweet! lol...really short...but hey thats great i hate long poetry! so well done on being able to say this in such a short poem well done!

    keep smiling!

    -N

  • believer06
    December 12, 2005
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    Nice

    This poem is short, sweet and to the point. Exactly what I feel right now I just can't say it to "HIM".


  • moonwick
    December 12, 2005
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    Wow, you say so much in these few words. I think we have all felt this feeling at least once. It's a wretched, painful thing. Thank you for the kind words! Take care!


  • warpedsenseoflife
    December 11, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    grreeeat like frosted flakes

    i like this ............short sweet and simple ....i always end up rambling ....u get the point across with few words ...that is truly a great gift ....keep writing ...this is great work and easy to relate to .....i think it'd be interesting if u wrote a poem from the other person's point of view about your silence ....would be a great extension of ur writing


  • KatHardKore
    December 11, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    Beautiful

    i really like this poem. its nice and short but it also says a lot. great write. bravo
    ☼Amethyst Ocean☼

  • Mentally Speaking
    December 11, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    good

    I like this because its different but short. And it seems like it doesn't have to be longer. Good poem.

  • rosebud
    December 11, 2005
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    :-( .... what a loss! and very smartly penned! congratz!


  • Windworder gold member
    December 10, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Try sign language. LOL Brief, but easy to relate to. Some pain even poets cannot put to pen, so they battle with loaded minds but empty mouths.

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