No frames of reference gird this endless waste,
Where wounds drip, bleeding, fresh that will not scar;
A languid plane with nothing near nor far,
But hopes receding fast from dreams unchased.
Where comforts to the left and right were placed
No warmth, no light remains here where none are,
But those departed fearful through the door
Stuck ever standing still in cautious haste.
Could hopelessness be ever what it seems?
True love won't wander far ahead; It waits,
But not to be for those forsaken dreams
Or fallen prayers that hide us from our fates.
What answers lie behind these shattered screens,
Where cowards cannot pry nor penetrate?
Author notes
The volta in this poem occurs at the 10th line.
According to 1 source I have found, this is called a Miltonic Sonnet. Another source calls a petrarchan sonnet with NO volta whatsoever a Miltonic sonnet. However.. they are variants of petrarchan's in any event it seems.
Written December 10th, 2005
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This was absolutely stunnning- I loved it! I loved the deep message and the words used to convey it. The only nitpicky thing was that I thought a petrarchan had the same ababcdcdefefgg rhyme that a shakespearean had?
In any case- here is an applause well deserved... -
Man, this type of poem is great to read - and what sort of advanced type of poetic form was that - something entirely beyond my reach I'm sure.
However, that aside, this worked very well - I enjoy reading poems with a moralistic message behind them, as I find them to be old classics, like the more famous ones of the times before us, and this would be ranking up there somewhere with them I think.
Nice job - no suggestions / critiques as I feel that would be somewhat patronising seeing as I would not be able to write this kind of poem myself. -
A rather advanced sonnet in your form. I am not sure I like it as well as more standard types but I am sure this is just a comfort issue within me. It had a very sad note to it.
Jim -
It is always great to learn about poetry. I did not know there were so many different styles of Sonnet... well I am a new poet actually have been writing for 6 monthes... but for sure I like learning. The words on your poem reminds me of those of Shakespear and I loved it very much. Thank you for the beautiful gift of your pen. Blessed be, Nena.
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Sorry. Wrong term. "The Miltonic sonnet is a Petrarchan sonnet which omits the volta." I got the terms mixed up.
The url is here:
www.rc.umd.edu/rchs/sonnet.htm
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Thanks for the spelling error. You think there is no volta?
I would beg to differ but I wont argue about it.
The only definition I could find for "Curtal sonnets" suggests that it is a sonnet which is reduced to 3/4 the size of a regular sonnet. Among other things is about 11 lines long. Perhaps you meant another term for a voltaless sonnet (although this sonnet has a volta. which I said I wont argue about).
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Good. You might want to change this:
True love wont wander far ahead; It waits, (True love won't)
Otherwise, you've pulled off a nearly perfect write, except that there's no volta in line 9, ergo, it's a Curtal sonnet. -
Interesting last two lines: "What answers lie behind these shattered screens/Where cowards cannot pry nor penetrate?" The idea of something being broken and yet more protecting is intriguing. Nice job!
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Those who fear will never love.. even though the love of their life might be waiting..they may die without knowing. There's a Frost poem that says something like this and I am trying to find it; They used it on Golden Girls.. drat!
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I have tried to write sonnets and unless I hear it .. I think it is beyond me..so I admire you greatly and loved this piece. especially this; True love wont wander far ahead; It waits,
But not to be for those forsaken dreams .. ahhhhh. yes. -
Mary6: this poem applies to past relationships which are over although the love was true. But the poem claims that if love is true, it will never leave lovers behind, but it will wait for them. It claims that the love from that past relationship is waiting on the other side of 'shattered screens'. The windows which used to allow us to look out into the world but are now shattered and opaque and block all sight blinding us. But since they are shattered they be passed by those willing to risk dreaming new dreams and step into the unknown (take a leap of faith).
Those who experience true love but will not pursue it out of fear are doomed to remain in an endless waste, never healing, without the comforts they used to find there, forever falling deeper and deeper into hopelessness.
To me, 'past true love' is an oxymoron. true love is forever.
Forever can not end.
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You're right. It comes down to choice. Fear is a wall. It seemed easier to stay in grief than chance it. I was looking at the love in this poem as a past love. That goes to show you how I have bent the content to my personal mood.
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Thanks for your comments.
Changing the parens on bleeding to coma's seems to have improved the line and heightened the drama there.
My interpretation of this poem is that true love is there, not far away, for those who have the courage to go forward and find it. But for those who are afraid of true love, then truly no comfort nor warmth is ever to be found.
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To me this spoke of being frozen in grief. Locked in time. I know that I went in my own personal direction with this, but you could not have described that prison more fully.
Real love is nearly as deadly as it is euphoric and the price can be high. I have to admit, you brought me to tears with this one. Or perhaps my own mood put an especially intense hue to this.
It seems unimportant to mention anything on form. You manipulate poetic tools with skill.
My only idea is that commas may give more importance to the word 'bleeding' in line 2 than the parentheses do. It seems to almost dilute the thought.
You certainly made me feel this one.
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5 old applause
