i won't hold
your hand
while you piss
but i'll
promise you
this:
we'll take after
the sun and
the moon
and do the
eclipse
i won't hold
your hand
while you piss
but i'll
promise you
this:
we'll take after
the sun and
the moon
and do the
eclipse
Author notes
Written December 9th, 2005
In a list
A contest entry
- The New Elitists (contest) by Nicole Hanna.
500 points, ended December 19, 2005, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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Wait wrong contest. I won that one...LOL.
I'm thinking of something else.
Retard I am...
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It was rigged because you won, I knew it!!!
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LOL. I truly wish...Frankly I'm shocked I stood a chance at all. Maybe she accidentally put me for the gold...
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LOL. I want to do a dance now.
This was in "the new elitists" contest...
That was rigged of course but this poem is fucking brilliant. Clear and without flowery bits.
I love your voice. So crisp and full.
Full...LOL.
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ohhhhhh...... thats absolutly brilliant.
I love it -
ummm...ok. That is different. What does holding someones hand while they piss, have anything to do with sex? lol! Nice poem.
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HAHAHA!!! Catchy and funny and even romantic in a way.
i would applaud it a billion times if i could.
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Confused? Shocked? Trying to figure out why it's in not in the adult section? which one am I really feeling? oh, all of them! Dude, no offense, but I have seen better. To shocked & confused to say more.
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short..cute..actually kinda humorous..nice job..
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Your cheering section has said everything that I could possibly think of to say, so I'll just go with them. Great poem.
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Wonderful!! I hope you get in!!
So short and bold. And, I enjoyed the subtle rhyme...
what a talent!
Luv you lots!
K -
A metaphorical poem to sex. You know I'm right so don't deny it and give me the shit about double meanings.
Love you
-Reni -
LOL...I have to agreew ith Rainbow...this WAS vastly entertaining and cheeky! It's not what I would consider exquisite and mind-blowing poetry, to be sure, but damn, it still does the job...lol. How stinkin' cute...
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Entertaining
~-~-~ LOL I love this piece, it makes me laugh, its funny how it can still be funny and serious at the same time. For some weird reason, as I was reading I pictured an ex of mine and myself in bathroom stall. LOL I wonder what the inspiration for this was? Well, I look forward to seeing more of your ultra-fabulous work very soon, thank you dahling. ~-~-~
Love and hope,
Adair A.K.A. "Queen of Rainbow Land" -
Great!
Very nice! I like the subtlty of all of it! -
lol!!! Brilliant!!! Hope all is well with you. How have you been doing Kevin?
Love and light,
Lencio -
Haha very different. I love the first line, wtf, it great. Thats like the edge of dependency and laziness, having someone else hold your dick. XD I also enjoyed the subtle ryhme and formatting, very good.
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this is brilliant once again, you rock my socks with ur beautiful poetry!
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I like the nice subtle rhyme used in this. Also, the first image coming as a shock makes the poem much more powerful than usual. I like this - indeed somewhat of a compromise, sounds like a deep promise to a loved one, that kind of promise that can't be easily forgotten. This is short and that kind of thing that makes you think for a long time... You expressed profound thoughts and strong emotion in usual words.
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