I fall to my knees, crushed by the weight of my waywardness
The aching pain of regret penetrating through to my very core
Reaching up towards the light, I plead for another opportunity
A chance to undertake everything possible to become purified
To be able to purge myself of this blackness that clings to me
I cry out, hoping I might be saved from my self-made demise
Desperate to break free from my hell, to finally be my true self
Despite my lack of worth, I hope to be released from this pit
I lift my eyes to the heavens as I collapse, a heap of ashes
Author notes
This is about how no matter what we do to cleanse ourselves of our sins it won't work, we have to give ourselves over to God.
Written December 9th, 2005
What did you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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i like it good work and good luck
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This is one "hell of damned" good poem, Hon! Yes, every pun intended
Talk about deep, dark and desperate! So very eloquently expressed and penned. This is truly beautiful in the way you have done this...the way you ended the life of this sinner pleading for redemption. A vivid and frightening piece of work here! Awesome write!
Many blessings and
s
~ Becky ~
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I love this!! It's so full of emotion, sadness, and darkness all at the same time...... You express yourself soooooo well!!!!!!! Keep writing!!!!!! I love the part that says...." I cry out, hoping I might be saved from my self-made demise....."
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excellent writing
Very powerfully written. The desperation is so evident in your words. The desire to be given another chance is a strong one. I think the last line is very good, and makes the reader really think.
etherealforu
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very well-written
The weight of sin presses in and down...days darken...nights weave of secrets and memory. What if they know? It is enough to crush the soul. If not for the One. If not for the sin-Bearer. The place-Taker. If not for the New Life only He can give (and gives freely.) It is here where a heap of ashes becomes true beauty. It is here where the dead and dying know Life and Living. It is here where Black becomes Red becomes White. -
Very creatively expressed poem.
You ddi a wonderful job.
Very talented indeed.
Good luck in my contest. -
this poem was awesome..in just a few lines. you clearily depicted what you were trying to get across!!! good luck in the contest and with writing in general!!
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i really like this peice its pretty good and i like especially the last line. it concludes very well and really conveys a sense of hopelessness. good luck in the competition! xx
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Amazing!
Wow, this was amazing, the format really added the whole effect that your poem had on me, theres such darkness and the whole time hope seems to be trying to break through, I really loved this piece, great job!!
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