She walks down the street
not knowing where she's going,
Looks up at the dark sky-
her life needs some improving.
Years down the road of adventure,
wondering where time went-
Why did everything fail?
where's the angel heaven sent?
Three kids ago, and a ruined marriage
all alone she stands again.
All the choices she chose so well
are now taking her for revenge.
Wandering down by the windy shore,
gazing at the endless waves-
Somehow things have to improve,
there's got to be better days.
She sits to dream of quiting,
to end all tears and sorrow.
If she died who'd miss her much?
for there's only an empty tomorrow.
Too bad for her beautiful babies.
she wishes their parents were better.
But nobody listens anyway,
so she left it in a letter.....
" To all the mistakes I've made,
and all the tears I've cried..
For a time I have to let you go,
my life can't be denied.
To each there was a purpose,
a sorrow that shall remain.
My mind has now to be in charge,
so direction I can regain."
No one knows how good she was
for she'd messed things up so much,
She wishes she could've listened
her problem was too much trust.
*
Author notes
Written December 9th, 2005
What did you think
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
-
wow. this is really hmmm...something. i really like it and well i just like it, n i think its kool how u use it 4 a contest... get that? ??? nice.
-
not much more to add , brilliamtly written, poignant and hits the reader with the depth of real truth...again brilliantly written
-
augh this it is the 238 time I read this poem and it doesnt get old.. I love reading it.. it makes me get a bit emotional.. .. augh.. so yeah.. anyways this is MY FAVORITE POEM by you!
-
beautiful....he whispers...just beautiful pai
beautiful, he whispers...absolutely beautiful...slowly he sais these words.
as he gazes at the screen
life
loves
losses
breaking at the seams...
for an ocean of pain cannot be measured
and the heart in time
hard
delicate... as a feather
so with wind blowing rain
bent down...head low
she begins once again
only she really knows
knows the pain that courses through
that memories are forever
hard....will she be hard
or
soft....as a feather. ....by Lionslove for windwhisper. -
Ouch...Reality is hard to face when you're not expecting it. This was beautifully written but words can't really describe what I just felt from this. Sorry, this comment pretty much sucks...
Yours always,
Stormy -
Beautiful!
this is a truly beautiful write! the words you have chosen here are so meaningful and gives this poem a true life in its self.....this poem has great flow and the imagery is really remarkable....this poem is filled with.....i loved it!
great write and thanks for the read! -
Wow, this is a really poem. It flowed very well all the way through, and your rhyming was excellent. This really touched my heart, it's so sad and sweet and thought-provoking. I could really relate to this stanza-
She sits to dream of quiting,
to end all tears and sorrow.
If she died who'd miss her much?
for there's only an empty tomorrow.
-as I have been feeling rather depressed lately myself. This really was wonderfully written, great job on this. I really enjoyed reading it. Keep up the great work! -
Three kids ago, and a ruined marriage
all alone she stands again.
All the choices she chose so well
are now taking her for revenge.
this stanza along with the last one are all too familiar. it is amazing to me to read me somewhere else. you have done a fantastic job on this. viyanna r langager
ps--is quitting with one or two t's? i thought two. viyanna -
awww that is so sad. i think there is good in all but hardly anyone takes the time to see and then try and bring it out of a person. Nice write!
-
This is a very good poem, the flow and imagery is vivid, and the story it tells, while sad, is beautifully potrayed. I'm truly sorry that anyone would have to go through something like this, keep on truckin'.
-
A good bit of catharsis here, it seems. The heart of the poet is both blessing and curse. It forces us to look deep, often too deep, and the rewards of our searching (and discovery) can be fleeting, and often misunderstood by others.
What I like about "Lion's Park" is that you have taken a very personal dilemma and gave it universality, or relevance, to me, and probably a few others. I could also conjecture some symbolism in the "Lion," possibly being a male figure who has taken over the pride, but then again, I tend to stretch interpretations beyond their intentions.
-
Your words are very passionate powerful and you have left me in tears after reading this amazingly powerfully penned write of yours and I know that some where out there in life you will find that rainbow of happyness because you are definately an angel thank you for letting me read and comment on your work...
-
Great write. I think the words you've chosen in this poem are lovely..."empty tomorrow".. I think that phrase is one of the best. A very appealing sad and beautiful poem.
-
Excellent write
this is exactly where i am now, looking back on the wreckage of my life.it only takes a few bad choices to lead to hardship. there is alot of hope in this poem. excellent write! -
this is sad....i feel bad for you....but really this reminds me of my mom....shes a great person but she messes up quite a bit but i love her anyways....i hope you get better soon
-
it's sort a sad that you went threw a thing like this, the only thing i'd have to say that i didn't like though is that your first stanza's rhym was really off.
hope things are better soon -
this poem was written with suicidal thoughts. the 'letter' in this poem that was written, was added 6yrs after the original poem was written. i guess during the transitional phase of my life. yes, this poem was of an actual situation, it was when i lost my children. but thank you all for your support.
-
this is sad n im sorry bout this shit if u need some1 ill b here ne time
-
great write again your poems are all so beautifully written and this one somewhat tells a story and a very sad story at that but it turned out [at least for the reader] a very beautiful story i think sad stories are always the best even though most come from real life situations great write
nyx
Adding your comment:
1 - 19 of 19
18 old applause
