Our Disgrace
We were never suppose to talk
about what happened in our home.
There is no telling what would happen
if anyone had known.
We made up so many stories,
about the bruises on our face.
We tried to pass the blame on,
hiding from our disgrace.
It wasn't right, but he's our dad,
what's a kid supposed to do?
After all when he was done
he always said," I love you."
We were staying with a friend,
when we heard about the fight.
The sirens echoed across town.
She finally shot him that night.
Now I wonder what it would be like,
if I still had my dad.
If he was here, it wouldn't change.
I so hated the life I had.
Its kind of strange, I don't know why
I miss him, this is true.
It wasn't right, but he was our dad.
What's a kid supposed to do?
It wasn't the best childhood,
but I miss him, so am I a fool?
I know what he did was not right
without his love, what's more cruel
Author notes
This is a side of abuse that isn't seen many times. The side of the child that even though they were abused, loves the abuser. It was wrong, but any love sometimes seems better than none! (maybe only in the eyes of the ones that lived it)
S h a k e s - s p e a r
A contest entry
- Child Abuse Awareness, Education, Healing {Contest Now Open For Prewrites} by Viyanna Rosemarie.
2900 points, ended May 11, 2007, 21 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Seeping Tears, bleeding Fears by fairytalelovestory.
975 points, ended March 19, 46 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Things we can't talk about. by WednesdayJade.
850 points, ended November 24, 34 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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no i agree. for even though what they did was wrong there is still that child's part of you that still loves them.
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This is an incredible write. And no you are not crazy of wrong for missing him. He was your father and instinct tels you that you should love him. You will always cling to hope, so no you are not wrong...i think it is quite normal.
Your words are so full of emotion and pain, i am so sorry that you had to go though this. I can relate to your hurt, pain, betrayl so well.
THank you so much for entering my contest and i am always here if you need to talk -
this is abuse, but im sorry it's not wat i wanted, this is a good poem, it just dosn't really fit the topic
thanx 4 ur entry, gr8 poem! have a good day!
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nice subject and very true feelings. A child is so innocent and unknown when she's born, some lucky children get to keep the innocence, others are forced to loose it. Thanks for entering and good luck.
-Neha
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this is true. but of the friends i know who have been beaten that hate there dad. my one friend still lives with his dad and his dad still beats him and the other one his dad left and that has caused him a lot of pain..
Good write..
Rose -
this poem is put as erotic so i must remove it, sorry
~gasp~ -
There is no telling what would happen
if anyone had known.
secrets are terrible in these situations. thank you for placing this here. viyanna rosemarie -
This side is heard of more then you think. My brother roommate/lover shot him for being abusive. That person love my brother could not take his hurtful nature. Still cares for him. Wonders why he shot him? It may not be the exact sane story it is close. This town had not had a murder for over twenty years. I hope you find some healing very soon. I felt so vary sad it hard to have mix feelings. I had them when my brother died. He was not a very nice person. At first I felt gultiy then later I am ok with it. I am glad he is gone. Now he can not hurt others. I seen him hurt many people. Even when others told the police it seemed that nothing was done. Even when he was punish it did not help him at all. I hope it helps to know you are not alone.
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I totally understand the begining of this what happens in this house stays in this hhouse so to speak...great work and so sorry for your pain....you wrote with such pain and emotion you are very talented...keep writting
XTashaX -
You know it seems that the one that is closest to you is the one that hurts you. I don't know really why we still love them, but we do. You only have one father and no matter what he has done, You will still love him. My mother abused me emotionally and she has been gone for 5 years. And I sit in my room many nights and cry because I miss her so much. Thank you for entering my contest..
Many blessings,
Tammy
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I love this piece as you have hit honesty more than many of those who have been victim to abuse. You DO miss the person and you DO love them still sometimes and its hard to admit but its true. It becomes a comfort and they are still close to you in every sense. Sorry you had to go through this if need to talk ever message me. Thanks for sharing!
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Short sweet and to the point, need I say more?
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Perfect!
Ok, now that I have gotten home and am looking at this, I am stuggling to find the words that will fit with what I am feeling as well as trying to find a way to portay propperly the impact this has had upon me.
First of all, it is well written so that it reaches into the reader and pulls forth a gambet of emotions that once one reaches the end they feel as if they have just taken a rather long emotional roller-coster. Yet the piece is remarkably short.
Second, the imagery that this piece evokes is very powerful and profound. The words transport the reader to the events as they are happening. A mark of a true poet.
Third and lastly, your subject is one of the darker sides of humanity, typically causing people to get their dander in a pinch; but this does not happen, for in this piece when you reach the end you are left with a sense of pity and longing as well as compasion towards the child for the loss of their father.
You have the signature of a bravera akin to a bard of old. I look forward to reading more of your works.
Blessings to you,
Rev. Alimae
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YAY BROTHER! I'm sooooo proud of you! I was veri disheartened by not even placing, but somehow, seeing that it's you who has beaten me, it doesn't seem that bad! Congratulations!
Maggie -
I am not in a possition to leave a good comment, but once I get home I will come back and do such. BTW, congratulations on winning the gold.
Rev. Alimae -
Nice job and well said. It isn't something thought of much, but you do grow up with that love/hate thing going on.
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wow... i can actually see myself in this peice... my father was abusive, spent years covering up for all he did, in fact to an extent still cover up for it all. now he's left, he's not dead but he is no longer here. and though part of me knows all he did was wrong he is still my dad and i do miss him not being here. I can really relate to this peice, and cannot think of what to say...
it is really very powerfully written, and you're right it does show an aspect of abuse that many leave out and that even less are able to understand. very well written... i really cannot think of what to write...
thankyou for entering -
whoa to the poets!!
excuse my language ok? holy !#$%. this brigns me chills, deep and riviting. stop giving me entries. lol creepy poem. i hope this wasnt based upon reality. but if so
ok i hope this was enough. good luck with this one. 
ur ap daughter- xx me xx
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wow. I remember all that pain. My mom was smart, made sure when she hit me, no one knew. And I loved her anyway.
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I had two dads
both my sex had
one got jailed glad
the other got mad.
I hate child abuse
yet abusers often confuse
saying I played ruses
became their seductive muse.
Your poem inspired this review. -
wow, yeah it isn't one that it showed often. However I think that many kids can relate to this for many reasons. NO matter what your dad(or the abuser) does to you, it's hard not to love him. Like you siad, he was their dad. It is a horrible thing to have to go through, I really appreciate you taking the time to enter!,
-Faithful Dreamer
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