UNDER AUGUST-HEAVY MOON ON DELANCY STREET
(For D.M. and D.L.)
Old Chevy curbs itself
beyond broken-eyed factories,
past the bent railroad tracks.
She, the bright light
reaches for you.
She smiles her sound of bells.
Love's new pilgrims,
your right hand leads you.
Fingers slip through her blouse.
Discovering the others' anatomy,
young hungry mouths dissolve
fear's ragged edges away.
Moon's last plumes blend
and bleed with red daylight.
Already you are thumbing
through King James Version,
she leaves lipstick kisses
to rearview mirror.
And although
never spoken aloud,
only by whispers of a poem...
You will always love being here
almost as much
as driving
away.
(12/8/05)
Author notes
BACKGROUND CREDIT: www.graphicsbygail.com
I will never-ever allow D.M. or D.L. to borrow my old Chevy again!
Written December 8th, 2005
In a list
A contest entry
- Anything! I want you to blow me away with your talent! by Heavens Child.
850 points, ended April 5, 2007, 112 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pimp up my free verse by leander.
400 points, ended January 6, 2008, 45 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 84 of 84
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I got some memories flashing before my eyes when I read this poem
lol, naughty ones actually 
Anyway, I definately love this poem. Good use of poetic devices and a great flow!
Thanks for entering the contest, I wish you the best of luck!
Leander -
This is a great write. It reminds me of a time when my boyfriend and I were parking and a police car pulled up and I was so embarrassed to have to tell him what we were doing....lol.... awesome poem! Thanks for the entry in my contest.
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thank you Emily! as I was posting a comment on the Contest Page it suddenly dawned on me that I actually had a poem I had written to fit this contest theme! thanks again for your comments, and ENJOY THE CONTEST!
Jo -
amazing!!!
"And although
never spoken aloud,
only by whispers of a poem...
You will always love being here
almost as much
as driving
away."
Wow that was a great free-verse write!!! Usually I hate free-verse, but this one kicked-a$$!!!
Powerful. I LOVED the last verse sooo much!!!
Keep up the GREAT amazing work, good luck, and thanks for entering my contest!!!
xoxo
emily♥ -
thanks for the comments to this poem, Pallas. it's horrible to say, but I don't recall having placed in your last contest, but I may have...??? I keep record to poems, trophies won and date, but not as to contest/contest leader specifics, but I guess I really should!
thanks again!
Jo -
This is funny. I like this poen, still. Didn't you place in my last contest? Anyways... athena
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thanks Athena! I really appreciate your comments to this poem.
Jo -
lol.. Ok, this brought back memories for me!!
Awesome write, thank you for entering my contest. Athena
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well, there goes my chances at gold. Doc, when the contest-leader has this fantasy for a poem, y'all feed it. so unless Def-Leppards sing "Jailhouse Rock" I'm toast in this contest now.
you know, Benjamin, Mrs. R. has heard OF Def Leppard, but I don't think she's ever heard Def Leppard. must be one of those 90's things...
Jo -
HBH,
There was no Elvis unfortunately. I think it was Def Leppard on at the time.
~Doc
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thank you so much Blue...and I'll let the couple know whom this poem was written of. maybe they did have Elvis playing on the old Chevy's radio that night. it would be beyond coincidence if they did!
thanks again your comments...I do appreciate and they have me smiling here!
Jo -
this travelled me to the sixties, in a romantic black and white film with Elvis playing loud in the radio.. romance reaches a high peak here! well done!!
HBH -
I think your comments to this poem somehow got lost when I signed on to AP at some point and I just discovered it now. thank you so very much, and my apologies for getting back to you so late.
Jo -
ha ha woah i love it, ha ha i absolutely love it good lluick in the contest
love em
xxxxxxxxxx -
it is hard not to love this poem... really, lol
-sosha
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thank you so very much Sosad...I truly appreciate the kind and wonderful comments you left to the poem!
Jo -
i loved it
wow... this is awesome.
i really don't know what else to say
good memories like that are always triggered whenever you get to certain places.
good luck with the contest
great write
i loved it
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very symbolic and very confusing in a way, but very nice also. i have to confess that i didnt quite get the point, but thats okay, at least thats mysterious. very nice ending. well done
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Good job.
This is a good poem. Thank you for entering my contest. -
thank you so very much Vaseline. having read and knowing the caliber of your writing, it really is a wonderful compliment and I truly appreciate.
Jo -
ayayayayayayyayayayayaaaiee!!!!!!!!!
i didnt know how many good poets were actually on AP.
amazing -
great poem... im not quite sure if it fits what i wanted... but who cares... it was close enough and i enjoyed reading it... great job
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thank you Dawn! I think if I were taking a survey by comments left to this poem, old Chevys have every other model vehicle beat! I wonder why...
Jo -
Excellent job!
Great job on this piece, enjoyable read, takes me back down memory lane to those old chevies. This is my idea of poetry.
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I think your keyboard has a special "OMG" key built right into it myself! and nope, can't steal the background. you never have to steal Jeannette, just take and don't even worry to ask. anything/everything I have here is yours...including the cookies, the smokes, and sometimes the beer too!
Jo -
It takes me a while to get it sometimes Jo. But I always have my OMG's just waiting for you.
Can I steal this background from you for future use. I love it.
etherealforu
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LOL...if it weren't already dedicated to someone Still, you probably could! but I really appreciate.
I'll be around to read more of yours too...I usually try to catch up with everyone's poems first thing in the morning when the messages aren't flying around my head here.
Jo -
it sure is a good thing cars can't talk cause this Old Chevy would sure have plenty of stories to tell, Kth! thanks for your wonderful comments to the poem!
Jo -
Excellent poem!
Wow! This was one steamy carload of passion! It is a damn good thing (excuse me) cars can't talk!!! Your poetic descriptions in this poem are actually what good poetry is all about. Great work! -
thank you Rowan! she already came back to me about an hour ago and told me something about stirring a bunny...??? must be another one of those quaint English phrases that just horrifies me. needless to say I took my sausage-length bunny ears and little banger of a cottontail and scurried off!
she's a trooper...I know she was embarrassed last night when she came back to explain and starting talking about sausage bangers of all things. I couldn't resist!!!
Jo -
Elfin? How old were these bangers? I think I'm confused about your comments.
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Tom Petty, huh? I think I was hearing some really old Rolling Stones myself at the time. well, not REALLY OLD, middle-old, you know?
thanks so much for your comments Catressa! now you'll have me singing some middle-old Rolling Stones song all day!
Jo -
I swear I could hear Tom Petty while I read your poem.. Something about the air of it and feel reminded me and took me back.. SIGH Memories.. I wish we could erase them
Take Care Hon,
Whisper -
Hey there Give! I always appreciate your comments to my poems, they make me feel as though I've done something right! Thank you so very much!
Jo -
I read the first comment, and yes...Jeannette likes the poem, very nice, beautiful writing, glad to be my friend, blah blah blah, but I'm thinking, where's the OMG in all this? realizing last time you did the DaVinci Code OMG on me, I even read it in this context, but no, there was no, not one OMG. I was disappointed, I shuddered, I cried.
then we come to Jeannette comment, Part #2. she has discovered just what she's been reading! it comes like a flash, a rush, an electric bolt from the sky! I have 50 Jeanette OMG's...and I smile.
you're the sweetest, Girl and you always leaving me laughing and smiling!
Jo
Edited on Dec 09, 1:23 because ''. -
thanks Chris! you'll have your old Chevy moment, I'm sure. even it's not a Chevy, but a Toyota or anything else with tires, I'm sure you'll have such a moment too!
Jo -
LOL Gross...good thing cars and pets can't talk for sure! they'd sure have stories to tell--(even ones about picking up boys hitch-hiking to the beach more than once)!
so ummm, my "piece"...err...poem was good, you think?
Jo -
too cute Susan! my very first car was an orange 1972 V.W. Beetle, Little Pumpkin. she was totalled out before the Chevy came into play though...
and for someone suffering through writer's block, you did really well with the poem of your mother's hands tonight. I just re-read the copy I printed out for my Mom a few minutes ago, and I didn't even realize the rhyme in this poem of yours. it just was so internal, not blatant nor silly, and well-balanced, but really an extra-special quality of that beauty of a poem of yours. thanks again for allowing me to print a copy. I just know my Mom will love reading it!
Jo -
wow Mano...you've really flattered and floored me with your comments, especially considering you're one of the writers whom I've always admired and respected for so much of your own poetry here on AP. thank you so much and I truly appreciate!
Jo -
you still on that Manly testosterone high of yours yet, Doug? LOL actually, I took the male role as narrator in this poem...yes, Womanly me did that!
think you're up for a challenge? 100 points if you can post a response to this poem with you being the female narrator. and not just jingle-jangling your bells for a haiku downsized version either! it should be fun, my fingers slipping under your blouse this go-round! bet's on???
Jo
P.S.: if it's on you get one week. I don't want a quickie...but nothing eternal either.
-
You've created a great atmosphere here. I particularly liked...
beyond broken-eyed factories,
past the bent railroad tracks.
Moon plumes and lipstick kisses are tantilising phrases. Best of luck with the contest!
Edited on Dec 09 because 'typo'. -
excellent writing
OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG..............OMG....OMG.........I forgot to OMG it Jo...........I am really slipping up in my old age. OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
etherealforu 
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excellent writing
Wow Jo. This is so, so, sensual and just so tastefully done. I love the suggestive nature of your words. Did they spend the night together in the car? Why was he thumbing through the Bible? I must be stupid. LOL........I really do love this poem. You have got CLASS Jo. I am proud to call you friend. I enjoyed this one.
etherealforu 
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That was a very nice way to put promiscutiy in a Chevy... I keep picturing this and it leaves me thinking of how memorable a moment like that would be. "The lipstick on the rearview mirror" nice line. I enjoyed reading it and I'll read it again just for good measure
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oh, I can't wait until Jeannette comes to this Doc. right now she's busy posting her porno-poems, but this latest one is actually really good of hers. if you notice a comment with a lot of OMG's running through it, you'll know Jeannette has been here. it's her trademark comment to my poems when a breast is bared or bedsheets get sweaty and twisted. it's actually how I met up with her...she missed an OMG moment on one of my poems and I called her on it. LOL
Jo -
You could always ask Jeannette what she thinks...
but tht would be stacking the deck in my favor...
~ Doc
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you're a BRAT and thanks for posting this. only you Doc, only you!
but of course, men would never consider less being more...I should really consider more female opinion on this subject. maybe the next poem...
Jo -
I saw the commenter who said "less is more", so I thought I would do an experiment. I revised it for you:
DM and DL drove
to the other side of town.
The Chevy was a rocking,
so no one came a knockin.
DM read his bible.
Have a nice life.
Nope...less is not more...I like the more version better!
(Actually, I get the feelin' that more happened than just fingering a blouse, learning anatomy and eating fear--in that case, your version is already the perfect less version... But, that's just my feelin' )
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Sensual
Well written nostalgic trip down memory lane
Sorry to hear about your Chevy I glad my Father-In-Law's old Ford LTD can't talk!!! It would have gotten us in a lot of trouble Wonder where it is now??? Would love to take a drive in it, one more time. Sweet piece...er...poem
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excellent~
Oh this poem bought back memories to me...
I was never in a Chevy...but get this a Volkwagen Beetle
Love the imagery you used in this poem sweetie
Your muse is on a roll lately and mine is at a standstill
I wish you luck in this contest and hope you get a trophy on your shelf for this one
Love n hugs
Your sis
Susan~~~
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there was something about the title that made me check it out... had never heard of moon being described as "heavy"... well, i wasn't disappointed ... i fact i was green with envy... such beautiful touches of surrealism... "broken eyed factories", "she smiles her sounds of bells", and the 2nd last stz an absolute delicacy... i've never had any real success in writing a surreal love poem. much of it turns out angsty and dark. so i really value your work as an important pointer to improve my own skills.
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Nicely told, from a womanly point of view! Us men would look at it differently, of course, but that is a story for our telling.
But seriously, Jo, it is nicely told. As someone else mentioned, getting it on in the back seat of an old car is an experience that we all should go through!
peace
doug
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Jo! Have you seen the size of those limo's? So much more room to romp in. I've seen some with a hot tub! The only thing missing is the bathroom! ~Michelle~
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and if he said YES you're telling me it would've been any different than in that little ol' Pinto! you are just too cute Michelle...it's been a while since I caught up with you, but you still bring me to laughing so hard every time!
I am getting hungry here though, you know?
Jo -
Oh Dear! I would have rented the biggest damn limo there is. We could sit there and look at each other, motel room, limo, motel room , limo. I then would've looked at him and said. "you know,I think I'll follow my mothers advice. She always said when you go out on a date, do things you otherwise wouldn't do or get to do at home. When you go out to eat, order what you wouldn't make at home. Sooooo.....darling,I've never been in a limo before and uhm....(batting the eyelashes) are you hungry?"
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LOL, you're a brat. I thought Michelle is my limo-lady? who would've known? LOL I've told the person it was written about to read the comments...they are hilarious. I betcha he almost wishes he spent the $30.00 for a cheap motel room that night!
Jo -
Oh how this brings back the memories of an even under the moon in a Silver Cloud RR! Yum!!! Did you ever know how roomy they are?There we were moon roof open the night air turning on the heads in his hands..me and Johnn Depp just necking!! Okay, so it was a Pinto and I fell asleep an the rest stop! I can dream can't I! LOL! I couldn't resist! After reading your comments I was Lmao! Jo, the comments were as much fun to read as the poem! Good luck in the contest.....excellent imagery.
~Michelle~
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that's true Mary...I always say if a poem can create controversy or emotion, it's done it's job! thanks for reminding me of that and your sweet comment to the poem!
Jo -
thank you Shawn! I think narrative poetry which tells a story is probably my favorite to read and write. I really appreciate your comments to the poem!
Jo -
Nice job if it raises brows..LOL
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thank you Ocerus, I really appreciate your comments! and you're gonna be one of the commenters who DOESN'T tell me what your old clanker was? so far I have two Chevys, one Ford and I'm waiting for the limo driver to pull up any second!
Jo -
thank you the applause and your comments Sweet. you think it says too much? it's fairly new, posted for this contest but I'll certainly give it more edits along the way. I always do, but I don't want to "kill" this one with over-edits either. I tend to do that too!
thanks again, and you can be sure I'm always re-doing these poems over and over and over again.
Jo -
This is pretty good. There's nothing quite like getting it on in a car, huh? Ah, memories! Anyway, I wish you well in this contest. I'd say you have good chances. - oce
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Joe Cool Approves
Hmm, nice, but remember, more is less in poetry -
thank you Stone, you're always so sweet in your comments to my poems and I truly appreciate!
Jo -
you know Annalise, these poem comments are like taking a survey of which old beat-up vehicle has the best backseat!!! your first husband's old Ford, my old Chevy...when the classic Rolls Royce limo people start leaving comment, I give up!
Jo
P.S.: I don't know if you know Elfin here, but if you do please just pass her a message asking how old her "banger" was! she's from England and didn't realize the American slang when leaving comment. it was too funny, and I don't want her thinking we forgot!!!
Edited on Dec 08, 7:30 p.m. because 'fingers typing faster than brain thinks or vice-versa...'. -
Beautiful, Jo. Wonderful story you've told. As per usual you amaze me and just spellbound me with your words. I am in awe of your talent, my friend.
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I am glad I checked this out, as well as some of your other work recenty. You have an extrordinary talent to tell stories in the form of poetry, and though I am not the expert, I can tell that it is very good!! It's not all broken up and flows well with enough rhyme to keep it pretty catchy, yet the story does not suffer in the meantime. You are a very talented writer! Hope to keep reading in the near future!!! Shawn
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I"m hiding my other poems quick before hubby peeks Harper!
and it's so sweet you always remember my old Chevy...even to your own poem in my contest! of course, then she didn't get much "action" as I recall, she was in one of those sputtery Pinky moods!
thanks for your sweet comments and you can tell hubby the eyebrows can go down now! they really look weird that way! LOL
Jo -
wow!!!
I love this. Wonderful.
My first husband and I had a beat up old Ford. Puke green and banged up, he loved that truck. Me too, at times And no, my mom never did buy that story about running out of gas, or sliding off the road, either. She is a smart ole coot!
Great write, Jo. Love where this took me to.
Bestest of wishes
~Meli~
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This is quite a piece, my husband stood next to me and raised his eyebrows at the lines;
Fingers slip through her blouse.
Each discovers the others' anatomy.
Young hungry mouths dissolve
fear's ragged edges away.
Of course. LOL. anyhoo, I loved the imagery that I got from this. I always love your poems about the chev. Lotsa love, Harp -
it's just so cute I'm still giggling about it here Elfin...and I knew you didn't realize the minute I read your post. You stepped into it this time...both feet too! LOL
Jo -
OMG.Hands over mouth in shock!!!!
In England , an old banger is an old car, or, bangers and mash is sausage and mashed potato. LOL -
a few BANGERS you say???!!! LOL Elfin...too funny. I don't know if you're in the US but "bang" and "banger" are slang terms used for, well...you know. LOL I'm laughing so hard here...Yours has to be the cutest-ever comments to any one of my poems!!!
Jo
Edited on Dec 08, 5:56 p.m. because ''. -
hello Di, another winner I think. I've never been in a chevy but i have been in the back of a few old bangers.LOL. But alas that was long ago,even so you brought back a few memories. thanks.
Valxx -
wow Rowan, you guys really had your story down pat, huh? did Mom and Dad believe you? they never did me...and I really did run out of gas! LOL
this little Chevy poem-star was called "Pinky" and I let her run through my poems from time-to-time.
you really should try one for this contest yourself Rowan...it's a great theme and Zayra's a great writer and judge, which you probably already know! I know she'll absolutely adore your writing...I do!
Jo -
My hubby had an old Chevy, we named it "Yeller". It really did run out of gas a few times!
As usual your talent keeps me spellbound.
Beautiful.
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thanks Zayra...I'm glad you like it and it's a great contest theme to work with. you'll have TONS of great poems, I've only read just a few of them.
and someone in those contest notes of yours asked for UN intervention. I couldn't get Kofi off my computer and back to the Security Council for the longest time...probably AP addicted!!!
Jo -
JO! There are so many great lines in this poem! "Fingers slip through her blouse"...that's not porn is it? Just kidding. But this little stanze just takes off..."bleed with red daylight, already you are thumbing through the King James...
Oh perfect! I love it! Did someone call the UN? I swear Jo! You are a riot! Thanks for joining the party with such a great poem.
Zayra -
thanks Koko! I did get the old Chevy second-hand, so you never know!
Jo
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Wow
I loved this. I can't put my finger on it but I feel as if I were there. I'm sure many of us have been. Thanks for taking me back. Great Poem! -
you're very sweet Doc...and my chance to send some of those happy tears back at you.
Jo -
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WOW!
Jo,
This is beautiful. I love the line 'She smiles her sound of bells.' This is so similar to one particular snapshot in time that I keep visiting in my head it is uncanny...I know you weren't there, but you've done a great job of rousing that particular memory in me once again. Wow!
Doc
Edited on Dec 08, 12:54 because ''.
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