While talking with the Master one day, I mentioned that it was difficult to find time to train my kung fu. He said I must integrate my training into daily life. Stretch while talking on the phone, sit in a deep horse stance while watching television, do katas in the parking lot of Jiffy Lube while waiting for the car, etc.
So I have started practicing techniques on pedestrians as I jog. Nothing too complicated, just a leg sweep here and there, or a quick chop to the neck in passing. It's always amazing how easily people go down, especially old folks. It's also very gratifying to stop at the end of the block, look back and see the trail of bodies littering the sidewalk. This stuff really works!
Author notes
Just kidding! lol
Written December 7th, 2005
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Comments
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Oh I am sooooo going to print this out for my husband, he will LOVE it!!
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2well done
LOL this is funny. Crazy i s more like it. I hate to be a pedestrian in your neighborhood. Lie in your wake. Awesome write man. Thanks for sharing
Victoria -
Very creative!
LOL this is funny, I use to do ju-jitsu back in the day and my mom actually has 2 black belts one in karate and a 3rd degree in ju-jitsu, so I am very familar with the horse stance and katas that you speak of lol, this is truely a funny little right for me to read lol, thanks for sharing it with us, I will be bookmarking this and thanks for also commenting on my poem, have a great day
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now that would be a sight.your humor is in high gear i see.i visited your page and enjoyed it immensely.interested in the making money thing.this,i hope helps you to get your kung fu on and your running skills on because pretty soon you are going to end up being chased by old ladies with brooms.
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Mark, you're so bad!
I do some exercises while waiting for the bus or tram, but far more discrete than yours lol
This is a very funny poem, I love your sense of humour!
I wish you a very Merry Christmas, I hope that Santa brings you time to exercise
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hilarious
ummm...."train only to master yourself" has definitely taken on a whole new meaning here...the Master would be so proud of you, Mark...
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OMG!
I laughed sooooooo hard reading this, thats just sad, thats terrible 
... Has your Grand Master read this? I'm going to tell! Its ironic, before I read this I was down about somethings and wasn't really in the mood to laugh, and then I clicked on this, and all of that changed! Thanks Uncle Mark, you always know when I need a smile or laugh... you're my hero! 
Love you! 
Sara 
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lol, any time dude
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"Yayness"? Thanks for the applause, and for adding to my vocabulary. lol
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yay! finally a shorty thing that I can comment on ¬_¬ *lazy*. This was funny. I laughed. So yayness some more. I'll applaud 'cause this isn't really a comment and I laughed so that makes it worth it.
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Oh how the greatests minds even come to the insane when one notices the intellegence of oneself in his writing! "Be LIKE the flower, my little grasshopper, don't just s*it upon it" says the master. Great piece of work here, not that I am surprised. I really enjoyed this one as well. Love it Mark keep the smile on my face. ~val~
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Thanks, Lencio. No, I didn't know you were getting married! Congratulations! I wish you a thousand years of happiness with her and your family to be. It's okay to stop writing for a little while. We have to refill the well once in a while, you know?
Congrats again, buddy. Good to hear from you.
Love,
Mark
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lol!!! Hope all is well with you. I myself havent been much on AP due to the planning for my wedding (you know it's on the 14th Fe
dont you? Have also been writing less with no time on my hands, and no much thoughts to write on. I just hope to be back soon regularly. Wishing you all the best of the season.
Love,
Lencio -
lol.. this was hillarious... agreat way to end te day
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Hey! Was that on Verdugo? Like near the park? Because I swear I saw a bunch of people laying on the ground when I was driving by the other day. Go you! Kung fu rocks!
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jajaajaja estas pasao loco !! que bueno te quedo esto, tu eres el mejor . . . .. ummmm sorry this poem got the best of me out !! jejeje u are sooo funny and dont worry what isaid earlier in this comment is all good !! great job u got me lol for like 5min and i still am!!jejejejejefunny funny
lots of hugs and kisses GND -
Good, Good, Good. Great! Mark. I loved it, Thank you for the smile, I was due for one. I'm still laughing on the floor. Getsbetter
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COOL Keep up the training I'm kidding but...
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Hey 99,
Deercatcher was just pulling my leg. But thanks for getting my back, homey. lol
I'm glad I could start your day off with a laugh. I hope all is well.
Mark
Edited on Dec 08, 1:27 p.m. because ''. -
DC,
Wow, you're good. lol You got me.
I was a little surprised by your comment because you sounded like a few stuffy professors I've known, and I always considered you to be one of my fellow lunatics. lol
I noticed the contradictory recommendation of the "ing form" at the end but I changed it, trying to be open-minded, and it did work better! haha
I'm relieved you were kidding. Thanks for putting my mind at ease, and sorry for being so dense.
M
Edited on Dec 08, 1:26 p.m. because ''. -
Mark. Please. Put it back right. It was all sarcasm! A courageous topic? I was spoofing all the people that take themselves too seriously on the site, damn purists! The -ing form? you'll notice I contradicted myself and reccomended it in the last line! I guess i'll have to leave more clues in the future as I seem to have upset some of your fanses. Keep it up!
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"And Mark? Drugs are bad."
hahahaha You are hilarious. (But I'm high on life.)
Thanks,
M -
Good one Mark... for a moment there I was getting worried! lol!
Veeeeery funny! You're a maniac u knw! lol!
As for deercatcher's comment, the tense you used for "was talking" is simply the present progressive tense implying continued action. I do not see how that weakens anything about your write from a literary or linguistic point of view. Had you used a passive form, perhaps, but I thought this form was fine.
Good one! The pleasure of a 2 minute humour piece, just based on silliness is so under-rated!
Marissa.
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Michael,
What a nice surprise to hear from you! I hope all is well. Merry Christmas!
Mark
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deercatcher,
I think you're taking this way too seriously. lol I wrote it in two minutes and in now way meant it to be high art. I certainly wasn't thinking about "rhythm (check your spelling) and flow." It's just for laughs. Train katas, shmane katas. Suspicions about me? Dude, no offense, but lighten up a little, will ya?
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are you ok??/
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While certainly a courageous subject, I must take your technique to task. This piece is all show and no tell. No, no, no. When you use the -ing form of the verb talk, you surrender a lot of strength. When you talk about doing Train Katas, I begin to get suspicions about you. Crane katas, yes, but Train Katas? Trains only have one move and it isn't very organic. Your rhythum and flow are passable, but I think "littering the sidewalk" would smooth a serious hiccup. Nice try.
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excellent writing
LOL.........this is too much. I am laughing so hard. What a great job you did with this one Mark.. I can just see the line of people down on the ground as you walk away. LOL
etherealforu
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LOL! The visuals here are interesting, indeed! Good thing you're not a sumo wrestler or there would be a trail of gooey pools wherever you go.....fun read
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l love beating up old people
wow that was freking awsome -
I got a serious Karate Chop for you.. lol Look on my Authors page I promise at least a slight grin or even a laugh..
And Mark? Drugs are bad..
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