She stood at the edge of the river
An angel or ghost, I couldn't tell
As morning mist rose from the water
And dawn cast its magical spell
Her eyes shined as stars in the heavens
Her hair had the look of pure gold
And I was a captive in silence
As I hid in the fog and the cold
What manner of vision or madness
Has caused me to see her today?
When all that I loved has been taken
My world, in a flash, blown away
She speaks, and the river does beckon
"Come dwell in my depths evermore"
I find myself pulled by the currents
So far, oh so far from shore
Now nearer, I look at her closely
Familiar, somehow, she does seem
As if we had met in a kingdom
That lies in the land of the dream
She tells me there's peace 'cross the river
Without hesitation I dive
I'll swim to the banks of contentment
And I will not be back alive
Author notes
Written December 7th, 2005
A contest entry
- Rhyming Ramblings by piccola.
700 points, ended July 20, 2007, 29 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Fantasy Element by ArchOblivion.
600 points, ended September 7, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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I do like your ...
thoughts and the style in which you share them. Form, form and more form! Very nicely done ...
j
y
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Thank you for entering my contest.
My scores are,
Imagery; 6
Metaphor; 6
Style; 7.
Total. 19. -
Loved the last stanza. Great rhyme and an excellent fantasy tale both lighthearted and dark. Thanks for your entry and good luck.
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this was sad but also had peace to it
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Amazing. You have taken suicide and made it enchanting, drawing the reader into some dreamy world and I have to remind myself that the outcome is not so enchanting, yet the poem itself is. If that made sense.
Congrats on the gold!
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the rhyme is beautiful and so is the story in a very sad and mournful way. It almost sounds familiar..thank yoou for the entry.
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This is a lovely poem, i loved it, its great. I like how the words just keep on flowing together. I wish you luck in the contest. Hope to see more..............~Nina~................
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This is beautiful. The rhyme scheme is amazing, the words are captivating, just magnifecent. I love how you being this to life. You're extremely talented. Good luck in the contest.
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all of the above and ITS BRILLIANT, it is absuluty brilliant, hope u do win deserves it
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Ooh, this felt like Arthurian legend to me, complete with its own Lady of the Lake. Also reminds me of Wordsworth and Poe. It's dark and sensuous and beckoning. Besides that I like your rhyme scheme.
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Neat. The lines "Without hesitation I dive/I'll swim to the banks of contentment/And I will not be back alive" were awesome. Great job! Good luck in the contest!
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This is amazing. I think I have found myself a new favorite if it is alright with you, since I actually do read my favorites daily
Not much to say about this except "beautifully sad and amazing". 
~Lyrical
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honestly i think i am speachless, this is such an amazing poem, i would love to be able to write like this! You certanly get an applause! I hope you win in the contest!
love
p.s Merry almost Christmas -
if this doesn't win i will cry.
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