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The Beach



Windswept shores,
         are shorn by seas,
                 that clip and crop the currents,
                                 of reluctance with ease.

The Child used to shimmer here,
            reflections still are seen,
                                echoic entities of what was,
                                               and what has been.
(The Beach beyond the barren lands)

Imprinted within the sands,
               alongside footsteps of delight,
                           embossed in single grains,
                                 are impressions of entrite.

(The Beach a vacant void once a verve of vitality)


Yet still the waters wash,
                 with wakes of wishful woe,
                       and tides that toss and turn,
                               wait for The Child to follow.

Beyond The Beach a vista,
                   a beauty to behold,
                          blocked out by walls of age,
                               that arise as The Child grows old.

The Child wants to visit,
                 to see views that he once had,
                                 now locked away in The Box,
                                           along with all that's bad.

The Beach beyond The Field,
               beyond The Keeper of The Box,
                        is filled with dunes of dreams,
                                    that safe-keep the keys to locks.


Tides turn
Children learn
The time is now
It's your turn...

Take The Beach... to The Box.

Author notes

Part of my Child in a Box series.
Please read The Field and The Box.
Thank you for reading.

Dan
Written December 6th, 2005

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Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • oOHannahListerOo
    May 12

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    ahh!

    first things first, imagery! i love the use of imagery in here. it comes across as your place of retreat almost .. clam and serene. i can't think of anything critical to say at all haha, damn yoou!
    it's juts beautiful.
    Nah
    x


  • Jobob
    July 10, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    You're right in that this one is more to my taste. I like the simplicity and elegance of the imagery and the way that the meaning of the piece is left hidden, to be lightly whispered through images.

    I did find the words to be a little... distracting. It's my feeling that you've perhaps over-used alliteration in this piece? My mental tongue found it difficult to see through the tongue-twisters you presented it with to the meaning underneath.

    Apart from that, and that is only a minor thing, it's a nice piece.


  • Mairi bheag gold member
    March 4, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Right, I am going to ignore anyone else's comments and go straight ahead with my own. This is the third poem I have read in this series, and I am beginning to appreciate the theme, the depth of feeling, the personal nature of the poem, and the ease with which you communicate to us.

    This one had me hooked from the beginning, because of the simple, witty opening couplet:

    Windswept shores,
    are shorn by seas,

    The play on words is just right. I am going to give this one a round of applause.


  • Thoughtful Seeker
    December 12, 2005
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    fantastic,moving

    not only is this well written,but it actually was very touching. i believe many will be able to take this to their own hearts,and remember good times as well as bad. what can i say,you are such a wonderful writer,this is very excellent work. this is by far my favorite in the series,and i haven't got to the last one yet,but i loved it. great flow,again excellent imagery. all in all,very moving and touching. ~dani~


  • JennFeelsLost
    December 10, 2005
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    I think this write is a nice addition to your series but on a somewhat lesser note. The beach to me has always been a place of calm...my refuge when I was a child. I see that in this write as well - almost to the point where it takes away from the poem a bit due to the calming effect. Maybe that is what you were going for...or maybe I am just over-analyzing. Either way, it is a nice additive to your series. Great job, hun. Keep it up! --Jenn ♥


  • Jaded Lily gold member
    December 10, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I'm sitting here, uncertain where to begin. This blew me away the most of all of the poems in this series Daneh. I grew up near the beach and spent so much time at the beach enjoying the sun and sand that it became my place of solice. The line that grabbed me the hardest was...
    "Take The Beach... to The Box."

    The last time I was able to go to my favorite beach, I took a plastic bag with me and brought some of the sand home...to my box. My happy place--the beach-- is here in the box with me. I truly hope to be well enough one day soon to go back and visit that very special place. Thank you so very much for writing this piece. You are such an amazing inspiration to me, but also to many others. Excellent work! Bravo!

    Love you,
    Lileh


  • Tainted Panties
    December 8, 2005
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    very amazing poem, its a bit abstract i fing these kind to be cvery difficult for me too write, any way nice work man, I like this its very deep and I supose has some kind of meaning for you, if not I can see how it could too many diffrent people, I like your style of art very nice


  • The MisSin Truth
    December 7, 2005
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    *****

    very nice piece! it does have a echo to it the way its put down.
    i will check the 2 other pieces

  • piccola silver member
    December 7, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    This was beautiful in it's form and I love the style and phrasing. It seems like .. well a tad sad.. if I understood it... but its beautiful anyway.


  • bludstaindsoliloquy
    December 7, 2005
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    That was realli beutiful, Dan . . . you are such a talented writer. I love how the form and style of your poetry changes with each new addition to your list! Bravo!

  • Painful Tears Fall
    December 6, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    Great

    htis was aweosme! i love your writing style! great job i loved this poem! everything you write always is awesome.. its like well perfect. nothing to change and nothing to add. great job keep up the great job!


  • Chelsea Reject
    December 6, 2005
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    wow! everything you write is worth gold. u rock. radical dude. well... please write more...god bless -chelsea


  • spamwitch
    December 6, 2005
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    I shall have to return to read the series, this was an amazing write you have presented,,,there is so much talent on this site, it's amazing...forgive me as I am still in the learning process of all of this.

1 - 13 of 13